I hate anxiety!!!
Had some drama last time SD16 was here. She tried to mess up our plans to get a new house. It didn't work, but I'm anxious about her coming around again. After last time, she told her father she wasn't coming over again for a long time, but I don't know if it was true or just another empty threat. I'm hoping beyond hope that she meant it. They are due over here again this weekend and I don't know if I can handle two days of that little brat in my house. It's only Wednesday and I'm already having anxiety attacks over it. Not to mention that I talked to BF's mom last week about the drama SD16 caused. I stood up for myself, politely speaking my mind, making sure to tell her that I don't want her to be angry with me, and she got angry with me anyway. BF's mother thinks I'm apparently to be seen and not heard, I'm afraid. That has caused me some stress, because I hate it when people are angry with me for what I deem is no reason. I should be aloud to have my own opinion without be chastised for it. She had previously commented to me that she wanted to buy the house for us and simply rent it without ever letting us buy it b/c SD16 was crying about having to live in a house that I partially owned. Well I told BF's mom that I would not agree to that and will not go through with getting the house unless we had a lease to purchase agreement, which is what we had originally talked about when we looked at the house the 1st time. Now she's all p.o.'d at me b/c of it. I think BF's family are all completely crazy and I haven't talked to any of them lately. The only thing that really has me the most upset is that BF's mom left it up in the air about whether or not she wanted to go through with getting the house and hasn't called either of us since then, which was a week ago today. Now I feel like I'm in limbo, wondering if we're still getting the house or not. I'm trying not to think about it too much, but I can't help but think about it. It's really driving me nuts! I feel like my head is just going to pop right off of my neck if I encounter any more stressful situations! That's why I don't want SD16 here this weekend. I know BF would love to spend time with her and I would never deny him that, but I just can't take dealing with her on top of everything else. I hope she stays at her mom's this weekend and leaves us alone. She causes trouble every time she is here. If anyone has any feedback, I'd love to hear it, but really I just wanted to vent, so thanks for reading. 
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I have been following your
I have been following your posts for a bit. I pray you can calm down enough to think things through. There are way too many strings attached for you to sign on to anything. This is your life and you should be excited and happy about every event. Do not let this little snippet get the best of you. Can you even imagine what kind of ASD she will become if you give her power now? Set your boundaries now with everyone. The best to you!
Fed up.. sorry to hear that
Fed up.. sorry to hear that your talk w/what should have been a rational adult went poorly.
I can tell you that my inlaws were frustrated w/me and my "treatment" of the skids for years.. 3.5 yrs to be exact. They got frustrated after we got married, because I wasnt going to let children run my house. To the point that said MIL sent me a quote (and that was it) saying that a child's job is to have fun and smile (or something like that) and I was pissed. That was all that was in that email. I hit the ROOF w/my dh. I told him to tell her if she had a problem w/me that she needs to say it, rather than send stupid quotes. I think the one I sent back (as I was PISSED) was.. Children should be seen and not heard.
That said, its been 3.5 yrs since we married. My skids went for a little over 2 weeks to visit my inlaws.. ALONE.. no dh or I.. no Bm or her dh.. just inlaws and the skids. MIL approached me after she returned them.... said she and FIL have a NEW appreciation for me. That they appreciate me being firm yet loving w/the skids. That you really get to know a person after spending 2 solid weeks w/them, and that yes, those skids need discipline since its OBVIOUS they get none at home. That it must be hard for me... and they appreciate it.
Guess I am no longer the bad guy for saying no, then telling them I didnt want to hear it.. no is no. No using the furniture for gym equipment, eating in either the kitchen or the dining room only, to pick up their room, to not talk back, and on and on. I am normally standing there when the inlaws were w/the skids to keep them in line. MIL had to be the bad guy for a change.. and it was EYEOPENING...
So. Until your MIL gets stuck w/sd for 2 weeks straight w/no help from you guys or the bm, and starts getting bossed around by that girl, she will NEVER know what its like to be you.
I have no words of help, just wanted to let you know I have been there.. and its not fun.. I want to send you a hug. My situation just got a smidge better, and that was sheerly by accident.
Stick to your guns, dont go into an agreement where YOUR hard earned money is being thrown away because of the whims of a 16 yr old girl.
**HUGS**
stay strong girl!
We're all in similar situations to one extent or another. I don't get my anxiety from the skids...I already love em to pieces and I haven't been doing this that long...it's the ew that I want to slap.
I get why you're upset with SD...she's a little bitch. Her family is reinforcing her bad, obnoxious and snotty behavior. You can't fight that because you are the sm and not the bioparent. It's not your job to teach her how to be a human being if she isn't.
What you can do is to keep doing what your doing...stand up for yourself in a good, healthy way. Calling her a little bitch or freaking out over her isn't going to solve the problem or get you anywhere. Your bf needs to grow a pair and stand up to the little snot and her family. In your defense too, when she says anything about not wanting to be around a house "you" co-own you can tell her that she also doesn't have to eat the food that you helped buy, or wear the clothes that you helped pay for, or talk on the phone that you worked to provide....know what I mean? She acts like she can control the house because her family thinks they're going to control the purse strings. As long as you keep yourself financially out of their control, she'll have nothing to bitch about. In fact, you should have that same convo with all of bitch-girl's family...that you are financially in charge of your lives and you will say how things are going to be. Unless of course you do need them financially...in which case you'll have to just put up with their crap forever. So it's kind of in your best interest to not have to depend on them for anything.
Don't get yourself sick over this all...believe me I know how it can make you sick...I've lost 19 pounds in the last few months that I really couldn't afford to lose...and I think I've got an ulcer now. Do whatever you have to do so you don't have to tolerate their crap.
We're all here for you!
Hugs,
lil
Sorry you are going through
Sorry you are going through this I myself know exactly how you feel, in my other post I have posted the same things this kid has lied on me accused me of hitting her all false I may add. Feeling the anxiety of my FSD coming over and not wanting her too. But I am lucky enough to have a FMIL that adores me as I do her and knows how her GD is. Now if I could get her father to realize that I would be doing good. So dont feel bad for your feelings she is being a lil b*tch about everything and its something you want badly, so yeah you have every right to be upset. But if theres anything I can do please dont hesitate to PM me. I will help you any way I can I know alot of times we just want a nonjudging ear someone whos been there to just listen to us. Hope things gets better for you..
Lots of hugs and thoughts your way
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..
I learned the hard way
My husband has a great family. Really he does. BUT!!!!! blood is thicker than water and it always will be. I learned that my conversations with his family remain neutral, fun, and simple. Anything to do with my husband and I stays right there between us. I do not share anything anymore with his family. Like I said, I learned the hard way. I'm not saying I don't like them, or that we don't have a good time together, but I am the one to be poured out with the bath water. So let your DH talk to his mom and work out an agreement that you two have decided you can live with. If you try to do it, you might have longer term issues to deal with and we girls need all the support we can get.
My opinion let him handle his family. Good luck, you're in a sticky situation.