SD16 is ruining everything!
We are trying to get a house right now, as I wrote last week. Well to do that, BF's mom is going to the bank for us b/c we can't get a loan ourselves. Well, over the weekend, SD16 (conniving little b****) has a temper tantrum b/c she won't be able to "control" the new house like she does here (she actually said this to BF's mom), and doesn't want us to move. So now, BF's mom is saying that she doesn't want to do a rent to own b/c she wants to be able to control our house for as long as SD16 is underage and won't sign the rent to own agreement so that we would just be renters and she would have the last say in the household. I told BF that if she wants is like that, I am out and I will not do it. I'm bummed out now, b/c I really wanted the new house, but little princess went over our heads and is screwing us out of it now. I really hate her right this moment!
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Is there any way...
you can get that house WITHOUT MIL? That's what needs to happen. Unreal!
WOW
I'd just say OK...and either stay where you are...or move to something you can both get into yourselves. I wouldn't let MIL or SD run my life...if you let it start...it won't stop! show them you don't need them...even if you think right now you do! Do what you can both afford, maybe SD will have to sleep on the couch if you can only afford a small place
bank
Did you go to the bank and try to get a loan? If it doesn't go through I would say its time for you to go. Last time I checked we were not living under a dictator and neither should you. Don't hate the child, if you must hate someone hate the incompetent adults that let her walk all over them.
UNFORTUNATELY....
It sounds like no matter where you are SD is going to "run" the show. As long as you are with BF and he allows her to have to much say in his life...she's got the same amount of say in your life. This is situation can be handled several different ways. 1.)You have a "coming to Jesus meeting" with BF and let him know under no circumstances is SD's behavior acceptable and will not be tolerated. 2.) Jump ship...if BF lets SD have this much control there is nothing saying that he is going to make her stop when she becomes of age. 3.) You accept the behavior of SD and stay with BF. I am sure you love him and care about him a great deal, but it's hard to fight upbringing!! Obviously his mother treats him or his father similar since he puts up with being walked on. GOOD LUCK!!
I say dont go through with
I say dont go through with that purchase, and find a NEW apt to rent.. Move there, and that way SD's control just went OUT THE WINDOW, as its new to all, and the lease is in both your names.. therefore you are BOTH in control.
I would also decline MIL by saying. Those stipulations dont work for us, so we will pass on the offer. Thank you.
I am sorry that sd16 ruined this for you two. What a little brat.
This is exactly what
my sd's tried to to us in a home I was renting before their Father moved in with me! As soon as he did, his oldest, who was 18 at the time, moved in and she immediately started her controlling of how everything was going to be! Wrong!!!! My home my rules! My DH didn't mind the rules and helped me put his oldest daughter in her place. Then a year later we started having his four other girls visiting EOW and that was great at first........then all hell broke lose! No more. No child is going to control what I say and do! So now his "precious" daughters very rarely come over because they cannot run our house the way THEY want to. Our home our rules. My kids follow the rules with little problem but his girls seem to think they don't have to! Oh hell no!!
We have only two things to worry about -- either that things will never get back to normal, or that they already have.
she doesn't control anything
she doesn't control anything that goes on here now, she just thinks she does. At her mother's all she has to do is throw a temper tantrum and she gets what she wants immediately. That doesn't normally work here. Every once in awhile, BF will give into her just so we don't have to listen to her b**** and moan, but not that often, and usually it's over little things. This time it's his mother giving in and we have no control over that. He still seems positive that things will work out, but I have no intention of going through with this without proper paperwork protecting my interest and my financial investment. I think his mom may have forgotten who will be paying for half of the house! I'm to the point where I'm just sick of it all and so stressed out that I don't even care if we get the new house at all. It's been nothing but a nightmare b/c of that little spoiled brat. I hate her so much right now!!!
All I'm asking...is for a little RESPECT (just a little bit).-The Queen of Soul
You're misplacing your
You're misplacing your anger. The SD isn't the reason you can't buy a home. The reason you can't gain approval is because you have insufficient income. Rent your own place until you can afford to buy and then you eliminate others have a voice in your purchase. YOu also gain the right to make your own rules.