Our hearing was today and the judge appointed DH sole managing conservator and BM possessory conservator. BM is only allowed supervised visitation with SD in our home until she completes her requirements and obtains her occupational drivers license, then she is to have only extended standard possession until further order of the court.

I heard the biggest load of Bull Sh*t today. They had nothin though! We were shocked that Bm's mom (who beat up Bm and started this whole battle) actually showed up as a witness. I don't know what they were thinking on that because her testimony wouldn't have helped her either way. She tried to distract from BM's behaviour by saying she overreacted when BM came home that night because she (Bm mom) had just had surgery 3 days before and had not taken her antidepressant and was on hydrocodiene. Huh?? How does that make it better? She then tried to testify that she is so proud of BM because she has never been on her own before and is doing it all on her own now. Including taking full responsibility for SD. Huh again?? First of all, did they think it sounded good that BM has never attempted to support herself before her mom beat her and DH insisted SD cannot be at that house? Second, BM's attny was attempting to show that Dh and I have withheld SD from her repeatedly and that is why SD is having a difficult time adjusting. How can BM be doing a great job with SD if we have prevented her from being with her?? Then Bm's mom said she called BM just the other day to ask her how she was supposed to mix Sd's Tylenol and motrin because she is such a great mom and she knows all that stuff, blah, blah.. Okay, why would she need to ask Bm how to do that if SD has not been allowed at her house? And mix tylenol and motrin, I'm confused.

They were so full of it, all three tried to make a huge deal over Dh not allowing the G-ma to get SD. They tried to make it sound as if she has tried to get her several times and we always deny her. SHE ONLY TRIED ONCE!!! Then G-ma screwed herself in the end because she had been repeating that me keeping SD was not working because we refused to turn SD over to anyome but Bm, then when Bm's attny concluded questioning G-ma she spits out, "Oh wait, but I have picked her up there one time since then!" He, he.:) BM's attny couldn't tell her to hush up fast enough.

We got BM good too! She denied that she got pregnagnt on purpose. I hinted at Dh to look in the briefcase and get the letter BM wrote to him after SD was born. Our attny took it up to her on the stand and had her identify it. Then our attny read aloud the part where she tells DH, "When I was thinking about having SD I knew you would love her(you're great with children) and with her being half me you would have some kind of love for me as well, being her mom. I know now that I should have talk to you before doing what I did, and for not doing that and not asking if I could make you someones daddy I am VERRY SORRY, there isn't a day that goes by yet that I don't wish things could be different." When Attny was done reading BM just had to throw on though, "I was still on my pills though." She was oozing with attitude today. Especially about her DWI. She played dumb and said she did not know the details of her sentancing until DH included it in the petition for changing temp orders. Then she denied being guilty of the assult on that girl with pepper spray. She says she did it but it was in self defense because the girl grabbed her friend's arm and BM had to pepper spray her to get her away. UMMMM, Yeah... ooookkkaaayy...sure. She "wasn't supposed to be charged with that".

Another great thing, BM's attorney was totally bluffing us the whole time about their case. First he was saying DH has an extensive criminal record against him, no such thing! then he told our attorney that he had a lot of witnesses, nope just 3! (And they did pretty lousy) Then her attny told ours first thing today that DH is the source of all of SD's physical and emotional issues right now and Dh is obviously obsessed with BM and he was going to prove it to the judge. LOL:D When our attorney showed up he said the judge instructed the attorneys to try to resolve this once again before going before the judge so Dh gave our attny the proposal I made up last night and Bm's attny flat out said no way. Wouldn't you know she ended up with almost exactly what I wrote!

I AM SO PROUD OF MY HUBBY!!!:) He did great. He did get irritated and aggitated with BM's attny's questioning him, but it was obvious I think, that it was because all he wanted was to help Sd and the attny tried to make it complicated. He is a great dad and it shows. Not to mention my mother beaming with pride when asked about his parenting. She almost cried. So did I.

I testified as to the closeness of BM and myself since summer started. I said I considered her my friend and I consider myself to be her friend. Her attny tried to say BM and I have exchanged shouting and words in the past. I clarified that Bm has yelled at me and threatened to beat me up, but no, I have never said an unkind word to her. I stated how it is because I am very close to my mom that I support BM's continuing role in SD's life and do not want her to ever be void of that relationship. her attny wanted me to agree that SD's stress and nail biting is possibly because Dh and I have not allowed her to keep her routine.I clarified that the nail biting and emotional stress has only been since BM's mom beat her up and she moved out, yes. Then he didn't want to talk to me anymore.

Gotta say, Attny earned his keep today. We were pretty worried when he and Bm's attny showed up late, TOGETHER! But he pulled us through and did a pretty good job too. We ended up with 6 witnesses in addition to ourselves. We are so blessesd to have such wonderful family that will show up no matter when and no matter where whenever we need them. As it turned out, only one was from Dh's family, his aunt who is my best friend. Then we had my mom and dad, who are divorced but did great today, my aunt, sister and bro in law. They were great. when we got there I told them I felt half way between crying and throwing up.

This was totally unlike our other experiences at a hearing. It was so formal like a mini trial, and the judge was very quiet. She didn't speak hardly at all until the end and the suspense was killing us. It was awesome though!!! Attny told us this is BIG for DH because he has been designated as sole managing conservator, and he is the first and only party in this case to ever have that title. BM and Dh have been joint managing conservators since SD was born. It is just now really starting to sink in how huge that is. Dh is the only one who can make decisions on medical, dental, psychological etc. No child support because we did not request it and no income sheets were filled out. I'm pretty sure the judge would have granted it, but it may have helped her see how important it is to us to just get things good for SD that we were not interested in the money. We'll survive, we did it this summer with SD.

We are so blessed!!

So Bm has supervised visits with SD at our home by Dh and myself every Sat 9-noon, Mon 6-8, wed 6-8 until she get's her occupational license. We were not trying to be mean, but we really were not expecting this today so when we found out BM would get her first 6-8 visit tonight we had to think fast and decided that after all the lies told about us today in court, we would not allow whomever drove Bm over (because she has no license) to visit in our home and they could come get her afterwards. DO you all think that was bad??? Dh tried to tell the ex-fiancee's mom who brought BM that it has just been a tough day and we were not planning on having company so because this is BM's time to be with SD we just wanted her to stay and no one else. Ex-fiancee's mom told DH, "well, I can't be driving over here just to go right back and forth." Hmmm, sounds a little like what DH and I had to do when he had standard visitation in the begining on Thursday nights. :? Dh then said he was trying to be nice and ex-fiancee's mom replied sarcasticly, "Yeah, I know all about how YOU try to be nice!" Yuck, now we really want to invite you into our home lady! She told Dh she was going to call their attny, catch that, THEIR attny, about it. Good luck lady, don't think the judge is going to order YOU any visitation with SD. She sat in her car and smoked cigarettes and talked on the phone while we were in the backyard with BM, SD and my cousin who was over while my aunt ran errands. BM was stiff and kinda rude at first, but she loosened up pretty quick and I would say it went well. We will be trick or treating with her Wednesday because it is her next visitation. I'm not worried, we were able to get along well before and i don't mind her too much most of the time in person. I will not forget though that the snake is a liar and tried to get Dh arrested. Wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her.

The judge suggested we look into a private social study to speed it up, but it will be more money and Dh and I already paid the $400 to the court to do it. We plan to tell our attny that we will retrieve that money and put it towards a private study, but that BM should come up with the rest. We do not have to be in a huge hurry to get to trail now because we can use this time to get SD accustomed to the arrangement. That should help us in final trial. BM is the one who will have to work at this if she wants it changed fast. It's our turn to drag our feet. The judge did say she thinks the attnys should plan the trail for February and they should mediate with a certain judge in January.

Any opinions on whether or not we should allow Bm's designated drivers to visit along with her??? I would appreciate it. My first instict says no because that will just allow them more opportunity to make up lies about us. Then I feel we have to consider if we will appear uncooperative in the eyes of the court if we do not extend kindness to these people. I just don't know. ????

Thank you all for your support, thoughts and prayers. I just know that even the simple fact of others thinking of us made a huge difference today. We are so blessed. God had his hand in this. He is protecting SD. There is hope.