Well, here we are, in contempt. BM was supposed to get SD back on Monday. DH and I were condsidering keeping her because of our fears of what craxy BM would do or say when she found out about all the info we put in the petition for a change in temp orders, but BM kinda helped our decision when she text DH at 8:30pm on Sunday to say she was sending her ex-fiancee(whom 3yo SD hates) to pick her up on Monday. And no doubt, he was going to keep her all day too.

Now, DH and I are not saying he is a bad guy, we just know that SD is already having a hard time with all the changes in her life with BM, and having him pick her up alone for the first time would have been awful, both for her and us. This baby thinks we are abandoning her everytime we let BM take her to this lady's house. To give an idea of what it would have been like, when I was keeping SD during BM's time when she was at work she and ex-fiancee came to get SD together in his truck. BM put SD in her car seat and ex-fiancee was already in the car. BM shut the door and we continued to talk in the yard. You would not believe the blood curdling screams Sd let out because she thought BM and I were sending her off with ex-fiancee alone. It would have killed me, but I know for a fact that it would be Dh that would have put a stop to the attempt to take SD.

I cannot believe BM's complete lack of consideration for what all this is doing to SD. She doesn't care how this hurts her little girl, as long as it is her way.

So because SD has been sick for over a month now, and seemed to be doing even worse Sunday night, Dh and I took SD to the DR. Monday. BM took her Sept.25 and she had two ear infections. We did the whole round of antibiotics and she was doing better, then BM took her to daycare for the first time Oct 3. She went to daycare for two days, and that weekend DH and I took her to the emergency room because she woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't breathe, turns out she caught croupe. Sd went back to BM and it took over a week for her to take her in for a follow up and the dr. told BM SD was recovering and didn't need meds. When we took her on Monday the dr.found that she has two ear infections and a sinus infection. Same Dr, so we do believe she was doing better last week, but she just can't seem to get well. DH and I decided to tell the pediatrician about the events with BM since August and the Dr was very interested and put it all in SD's file. She said BM didn't say ANYTHING about our custody dispute, their move to the ex-fiancee's mom's house any of it. She said the stress on SD could have an impact on her immune system, but that's not why she is sick. I think it also has a lot to do with SD's recent aggressive nail biting. You know, kids, germs, then putting her hands in her mouth.

DH told BM Monday morn that he was taking SD to the Dr, BM started freaking wanting him to tell her as soon as he knew the appt time so she could be there and then take sd. When we were waiting for a call back from the dr BM was sending him a text every 30 mins with question marks. Eventually he called her and told her that he would not be allowing her to pick up SD because our attorney informed us once again that now that we know about BM's irresponsible and dangerous behavior, if we let her take SD we could be seen as putting SD in danger ourselves. BM of course freaked and said her attorney says we have no right to do this and she will call the police. DH said go ahead, they couldnt' do anything the last time either.

Now we feel abandoned by our attorney. We asked him to file a restraining order or temp possession order like he did before. He was sick on Monday and couldn't do anything for us, then he led us to believe her attny had filed for a continuance and the hearing Tues morn was off. I called the court clerk yesterday and they said there was nothing filed and that neither party showed up for the hearing so nothing was done. WE were pissed. If our attorney had beed with us and we showed up we would have prob. been givin everything we wanted in temp orders.

Now he is saying we need an attorney ad litem, that would be fine, except we feel our case for custody is solid and WE WANT TO GO BEFORE A JUDGE!!! Why or attorney is making this so difficult I can't understand!!! He sent an email last night that he would get the restraining order filed today and he would contact us as soon as he had "something to report". Yeah, we got nothin.

BM and her Ex-fiancee's mom were ringing the Sh*T out of our doorbell an hour ago. I saw who it was on our little security camera and told SD it was strangers trying to sell something. finally they left. I would seriously feel bad if SD wanted to see BM, but she doesn't. she got really serious when she was taking a bath. She said, "I don't want mommy to come get me cause she make me go to school." I asked, "what if mommy just takes you back to Vicki's house to spend the night with her?" She said, "Nooo, I just want to stay here!" I said, "what if mommy just takes you to the park and then you come back to sleep here?" SD started to cry and said, "Noooo, I want to stay heeeere!"

I know she is three, and it is important for her to spend time with her BM, I just think SD can sense how unstable and selfish BM is right now and is desperately clinging to Dh and myself as her life with us is the only consistant thing she has right now.

Last night BM and SD talked on the phone and SD told BM, "Mommy, I want you to come spend the night tomorrow." BM said, "How bout you come spend the night with me tomorrow?" SD said, "Nooo, at MY HOUSE!" BM got uncomfortable and told her they would talk about it tomorrow.

Just wanted to share, anybody been here before???? I am so freaked right now. I am taking some comfort in that I am fairly certain that BM and her attorney are trying to avoid going before a judge, and if I'm right in my understanding, that's exactly what we will have to do if she wants to force us to give SD back. I know we are facing the poss of being punished by the courts, but we're hoping that with BM already violating the orders and taking SD to her abusive mom's maybe the judge will see that we are trying to protect SD.

Who knows.