When SKIDs are treated like demi gods!
I haven't been here for a while. I had improved with my relationship and attitude towards the SKIDs but it just hits you in the face again and again.
SD5 and SS7 come round every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday evening. It's a weekend of whining, whinging and watching little demi gods in action.
Of course my partner panders to them out of guilt because he only sees them every other weekend so he feels he should spoil them. We have an 8 month old daughter and it annoys me to no end that his kids get away with murder and i know that my daughter will have stricter rules.
Saturday night my partner asks me to go through a restaurant guide so he could take me and the kids out for dinner. Spent about half hour finding a suitable family place. He then goes to the little demi gods perched on the couch watching a movie and tells them of dinner plans. Their response? " We don't want to to go for dinner, we want to have a bath"
He doesn't question them or tell them it's a non-negotiable and tells me the kids don't want to go for dinner s we're not going. I was furious. Who are the adults in the house??!! He insisted that if those two don't want to do something then we should follow their lead otherwise it will be disaster.
5 minutes later, little demi gods changed their mind and said they now wanted to go for dinner and hubby conveyed the message to me. I was so furious and refused to go for the dinner. Why should our plans be micromanaged by SD5 and SD7?? If we couldn't go because they were sick then that's ok but to cancel dinner plans because the SKIDs want to have a bath instead.
Eventually i agreed for us to go for dinner. As usual they were like little monkeys. Crying over nothing at the table. SS7 has been spoilt and likes to walk on furniture and it was so embarassing when he did this at the restaurant. I realise kids can pull stunts that can really embarass any parents but walking on furniture is normal for these kids. It's a pet hate for me. If SS7 says he doesn't want to go in the car hubby cancels our errands for that day. If we are are looking for parking at a busy mall and SS7 says he doesn't like it - we immediately do a u-turn and hed back home. o now I do my own thing and hubby doesn't like it. He says my daughter and i abandon him and hsi kids. Who wouldn't??!
And now hubby wants us to go out of town for upcoming school holidays. i'm thinking hell to the no!
Oh...I don't have Demi Gods,
Oh...I don't have Demi Gods, just Princess' in my house.
I have 3 of them SD12. SD14, SD15 and little Mr Blended 7.
Can you believe that if one of the Princess' hits Mr 7 that DH actually demands to know what he did to deserve it??????
Despite 10 years of me telling them not to hit anyone.....what did Mr 7 do to make them hit him.....
And yes, our household runs to the tune of what chaotic load of shite they pull...
If my skids hit my daughter
If my skids hit my daughter all hell would break loose.
Mr. 7 needs to start busting
Mr. 7 needs to start busting his elder sisters in the face with his fist if they hit him. The only way to deal with a bully, even one who is a sibling, is to beat them worse than they beat you. Normally I make hitting a female completely off limits for a boy child but all bets are off when the girls are 5, 7, & 8 years older with a proven history of hitting a 7yo.
Full force fist in the face. End of bullying by big sisters. Mr. 7 needs to get this done now before he gets much older when he could hurt them significantly at which time hitting a female should be clearly made off limits with this young man... unless a female is attacking him then all bets are off.
If DH so much as twitches lay in to his idiot parenting ass with full bridal fury.
IMHO of course.
It may have to come to this
It may have to come to this Rags as my "don't hit" rule in the house doesn't seem to work .... 10 years on an they still do it. It's just a little hard for me to come to terms with, this is my 3rd boy and I've never had a hitting problem with any of them. They aren't whimpy or not able to stick up for themselves, they just never hit each other and aren't bullies.
When I met these girls as toddlers they would have the most vicious bitch fights. I was astounded, I would say to DH, are you going to stop that?? He would just tell me they are sorting it all out themselves. :jawdrop: How ridiculous!
I understand the quandry. My
I understand the quandry. My brothers and me were not allowed to fight. Never once did we ever get into a physical fight. To fight each other meant that when dad (USMC vet) dad got home from work we each had to go to the backyard and fight him one on one. So, we never faught. I am the eldest of 3 boys. #2 did bust me in the mouth once when I was roughhousing with him and made him angry. He told me if I did not stop that he would punch me in the mouth. I lauched and kept antagonozing him and he popped me in the mouth. I am 6 years older then he is and at the time I was ~15ish. He made his point, I gave him a monster wedgy in response then I had to sneak a trip to the Denist to fix a chipped tooth. I did not fight with him though. Dad's message was loud and clear in my behaviors and I know that if I had hit my little brother back that as the eldest it would be me that bore the brunt of the consequences.
As far as hitting when responding to bully or someone else starting a fight ... the expectation was that we never were to start a fight but any fight we were in we won..... period. Bullies were the target of total physical aniahilation from dad's perspective.
If your SDs will not get their physical bullying of your DS under control then I would suggest dusting off DH's old line "They are just sorting it out and our son is responding to being hit by his much older siblings. Stay out of it!" and using it on DH if he takes exception to his darling and violent little princesses getting a black eye, fat lop, or bloody nose from notably younger brother.
I thought dealing with one
I thought dealing with one Princess was bad. Wow, I can't imagine 3. I'm just trying to make the best of it while waiting for a couple more years to pass!
It's coming very close to me
It's coming very close to me smacking their faces, 2 of them are bigger than me now and my patience is getting less and less......
What is worse is we are talking about their BROTHER, yes, half brother, but brother all the same....WTF is DH always sticking up for them???
This isn't father spoiling
This isn't father spoiling his kids out of guilt...this is a father who refuses to parent at all. I think you're fooling yourself to think he'll have the same parenting ideas and stricter rules when it comes to your baby together.
I predict your baby in a few years walking on top of furniture and calling the shots, just like the skids you complain of. When you try to control baby and tell baby 'no' and perhaps even discipline baby that your partner will object to your actions.
Yes, that is my fear. i will
Yes, that is my fear. i will do my best but she has two parents and I'm sure her dad will let me down. He is good with teh play side of things but that's about all. Fortunately or unfortunately ...I don't know...I wasn't raised by parents who took time out to play hide and seek with me and spend all day playing other games I made up. We had fun but just learnt to do a lot of stuff o our own and make do with 'outside' something kids today don't really understand.
In my view a 7 year old should never storm off after being told off by his father, stomp into his room and slam the door. If i slammed a door in my parent's house it would have been WW3....LOL.
I'm scared that my daughter will pick up their bad habits. She will start to whinge, raise her voice, ignore us, slam doors etc just like her half brother and sister.
I do admit I find it difficult to bring it up with my partner and i know that's not a good approach.
And take my word for it, from
And take my word for it, from experience, as much as you try your little one will pick up their bad behaviour...unfortunately to counteract this you just have to be tougher. You wish I am having Mr 7 turn into one of them!
Tell your DH you'd like to
Tell your DH you'd like to take a bath instead ~ see if he gets it. !!!
I have a 12 year old
I have a 12 year old stepdaughter who I'm trying to raise as my own... She refuses to mind and when she does she finds a way to do it on her own terms.. Her mother passed away so I'm trying my best to be that for her. To me not minding is not minding no matter how small anyone else thinks it is. Her dad demands respect and obedience from our 1 and 3 year old and that's ok I want them to mind too. But when I ask him why he doesn't with her he says because he feels like its a lost cause. Really?! Everyone has either given up on her (her mother committed suicide) or give in to her very want and I feel that too is just giving up in a way. It makes me feel bad for her but I can't just let her do whatever she wants because she has had a rough life.. I'm struggling to find a balance.. I went a little off but I was just trying to say that it is likely that a father would parent children from different relationships differently. Mine definitely does and it makes me furious.
My hubby passed away and I am
My hubby passed away and I am still strong w my kids. I do not have room for error ~ I would never just give up on my kids. Yes do I feel horrible for them ~ hell yes but that doesn't warrant bad behavior.
There are people out in the world that had tough lives and they want to make something of themselves. The excuse of them having a hard life whether it be death or divorce is just a cop out. Parents have to step up to the damn plate n put the effort in young kids .... Until. Sure it's gonna take more effort for parents but who said parenting is a cake walk ~ no one. If you don't fix it now ~ just wait till the age of 15 on. Poor parenting is just easier. I know my parents would stand for half this crap my SD has done to me ~ she is 20 I doubt anything anyone has to say to her will make a difference. You can't just be a sperm donor ~ parenting isn't a part time job.