My SD is 21. She and I were very close during her visits when she was younger. Her last couple of visits as a teen were awful- she barely talked or interacted with any of us. Worst part was she had asked to come that weekend, so we cancelled plans we had for her to visit. She has a very controlling BM who did everything in her power to destroy the relationship between DH and SD. She scheduled every possible dance class on our visitation days. She even filed charges saying we had hit/abused SD on one occasion, which was all found to be false. There were also numerous bogus police reports. When we bought a camper, yep- Saturday classes started to prevent weekend camping trips. SD's visits dwindled after age 15 due to BM's constant yelling and control issues, but DH even stopped getting told about award ceremonies, ballgames, etc. He made trips to the school on his own to meet all of her teachers and even left stamped self-addressed envelopes for them to send SD's report cards, etc to him since BM and SD had both basically quit communicating with him. DH and I adopted an amazing son 6 years ago. SD was very involved with him for the first 18 months of his life. Since then, she hasn't been to our house to visit once. She didn't get a car until she was 20 because BM didn't want her to have access to see her dad....sad! We lived less than 2 miles apart. She has called DH a couple of times in the past year, but gives him limited information. I know others who know her, and know a lot more that what she has told him, but have kept quiet since it's her place to tell him what's going on in her life. DH says she wants to come around again, which she has said once or twice before- usually when she needed money for a trip or something. DH has seen DH once or twice a year for lunch only for the past couple of years. It's usually "fluff" talk. My concern is my adopted son. He does not remember that she is his "sissy", but SD feels it's important for her to tell him right away. DH does not see an issue with it. I told DH that SD is welcome to come around, but don't think it's appropriate to tell a 6 year old this until we are sure that she is really going to start coming around. I feel like if she wants to be in his life, jump in with both feet. He will have enough questions about who is in his life and why the ones who walked out did so. I really need some advice!