I'm tempted to have a doc put me on medication....vent
First off thank you all for letting me vent here... its probably something really stupid but its something I need to get off my chest.
My soon to be adult stepdaughter has totally driven me to the point that I think I'm considering getting on medication just so living with her is tolerable. For the 14 years she has been living with us the only chore she has ever been required to do is to clean her room. I'm getting tired of telling a 17 year old to do this.
I can't keep living this way feeling angry every single day. Imagine a bedroom with used dishes, dirty clothes, used tampons and kleenex on the floor. You can't walk in the room. I've done great for 14 years, I kept the bedroom door closed and tried to ignore it but we just moved in July to a brand new home. I'd like to keep it as nice for as long as possible because nothing would piss me off more than to totally replace the carpet in a home we've only lived in for 4 months. I even set up rules before we ever moved. No food or drinks except water allowed upstairs. Well that lasted 3 months. I got tired of yelling about it since my husband doesn't back me up or his newest thing " I will talk to her about it". Dad tells her to do clean her room but she never does or does a half ass job. I'm not a huge neat freak. I clean our house once a week and our home is "lived in". I do it all with no help. Right now I'm not working so I consider it my contribution to the household since I'm not bringing in money but at least Im not just sitting on my ass watching tv all day. I am getting tired of feeling like I'm a maid. I did it all when I was working a very hard physical job for 8 hours only to come home and cleaned up after everyone. I stopped doing SD laundry after she brought home her BF underwear and expected me to wash it. I can't keep ignoring the mess in her room because she has most of my tupperware thrown around in her room so I go in there looking for our dishes.
I quit my job in April because I knew trying to pack and move was going to be hard after 10 years of living in our old place. Now I'm looking for work just so I have a reason to never be home or around SD. I got so mad that I posted on FB (of which SD is not a friend on my page) asking if anyone in hubby's family would like to volunteer to come clean SD room so someone other than myself and hubby could tell her she is a slob and maybe get it through her head that this isn't OK! Don't care if it pisses hubby off or not. I blew up at hubby last night because I had to drop everything I was doing to make dinner because I had to feed SD before she went to work. Why do I have to drop everything to feed her.... she's 17! Make something to eat! I'm not 80 I don't want to eat dinner at 4:30pm! I cook the dinner then I'm left to clean up all the dishes! I grew up where if my mom cooked dinner, not only did I clean my own dishes I helped clean up everything she used to make us dinner. its called RESPECT!
So am I crazy? Should I just go and get some mood stabilizers and just suck it up....hope and pray she moves out after graduation? I may just get meds just to save myself. Thanks for letting me rant
I agree it will just help me
I agree it will just help me not care and over all not deal with the problem. So I confronted SD and told her you need to get your clothes washed and your room cleaned or for your 18th birthday I'm giving you boxes. She's now upstairs cleaning her room or at least I'm hoping she is.. I'm going to check her room tomorrow and if it isn't done I'm going to make her dad come with me and clean it. I know that will piss him off and he will finally make her do it so I'll shut up.
I have yelled at her when I
I have yelled at her when I see it happen but now she just sneaks everything up there. Sadly I can't watch her 24/7. It's just a matter of respect. I'm tired after 14 yrs of trying to gain an ounce of it, just want her out.
That sounds all too familiar!
That sounds all too familiar! I'm tired of being the stepbitch as I've been called. It is frustrating especially since we have a 13 yr old daughter together and she gets so mad because she has to do these things but notices her sister never has to lift a finger and that her dad never makes her do anything.
I may try Ativan or something for anxiety might be a better choice than a mood stabilizer.
Thanks. I was thinking it
Thanks. I was thinking it would be best if I found a therapist. I was just hoping once she turned 18 she knows she doesn't have to stay here anymore and she would run off to her mothers.
I've actually thought at one point, just to keep my wits about me that I would just stop doing everything around the house that I would only take care of what I use and what my daughter uses (dishes and laundry). Let the mess pile up, trash heaping, everyone's dishes in the sink because they are to lazy to do anything. Just see if they will do it.
Oh wow, I thought my SD11 was
Oh wow, I thought my SD11 was bad, but I really feel for you! Her BF's underwear??? She has a boyfriend and can't even clean her room? What if she gets pregnant?
We've already had the
We've already had the pregnancy scare. I told hubby I would be gone if she gets pregnant because I know I would get stuck with raising the kid.
What would of happened if
What would of happened if when he asked you to stop everything and make dinner, you said, "No, she's old enough to feed herself?"
I can't seem to wrap my head around him expecting you to be responsible for feeding someone that is old enough to work, but not capable enough to make a sandwich or heat up a can of soup.
Used tampons in her bedroom?
Used tampons in her bedroom? That right there made me gag! UGH! Of course, I seriously don't want to go through SD14's room..who knows what I'll find there. I know she hasn't washed clothes in over two weeks, and I've seen her wearing the same things over and over....YUCK! I can just image what some of these kids' places are going to look like when they finally do move out (because, yeah, she is NOT being allowed to stay here)!
No you are not crazy for thinking you need meds to deal with it all. I need a punching bag...seriously. I often feel like I live with two teenagers, and one of them is NOT my BS18 (ie, BS18 acts more like an adult than DH).