The time is here again, I no longer look forward to the holidays like I used to-I'm sure many of us feel this way. FDH and I had a good talk and our plans are still up in the air BUT we are on the same page

There are so many people in our blended family whom all have families and other places to go besides our family dinner. My bio, FDH and myself have My grandmothers(dad's side) and my aunts (moms side)- I skipped them last year it was too much.
FDH has his mom and dad's where the big dinner is and his kids have BM's and SD21 has her "baby daddy" and his family. SD16 has her Bf's, Oh and I can't forget about FDH's SS26 who we "try" to coordinate with as well as to when he has his daughter :sick: hate him.

So there are literally 8 people (families) in the immediate family who all have more then 1 place to go and we have to try and all coordinate a time that works for everyone whether it's in the beginning or end of dinner so there's not people in and out and mass chaos all day.

We had our own dinner and didn't go anywhere else last year because there was family drama- with me of course (FMIL was black out drunk and pulled my hair) so we said Eff everyone this is when we are having it our kids only. We had to have it early bc BM already had her time planned...... It went ok except we spent a ton on food, was up all night preparing and up extra early to get the turkey in the oven so the kids could eat and be to their mom's house by 3. It was exhausting. And of course I don't think any of the kids appreciated it.

Since things have smoothed over with FDH's family I'm afraid if we do our own Thanksgiving dinner FDH's family is going to be all butt hurt (FDH agree's 100%) if they aren't invited. And these are the type of people who will come, eat and leave. No help, no dishes to share, no clean up, probley sit around and drink after etc. Its not what either of us want. WE are on the fence as to what plans to make.

My dilemma: Go to a million places, be gone all day and be surrounded by FDH's family most of the day :sick:

OR

Have our own Thanksgiving and FDH's family will invite themselves over or be super insulted they weren't invited and drama will start along with coordinating all different times with 8 different people and families and a lot of $ and sweat for a bunch of ungrateful people.

Many people are cut and dried and they have their plan and they are sticking to it, what are your plans? What do you do when there are so many people in a blended family including your own family you would like to see?