What to do when SD's friend comes to you to say SD17 is bullying her.
Some of you know my story about my SD17 being a real piece for the last month. SD has a bad attitude and feels she is the boss of everyone, even her friends at this point. I have thought it may be drugs, the depo shot, her relationship with her BF, her BM's marriage getting worse, even her own mental stability to cause her to become an insecure, conniving, down right mean person.
OK so now to what I need help on. DH and I LOVE kids and we have always told SD's friends they con stop in anytime even without SD if they like. Over the years we will be outside and the kids have stopped by when they see us. Last night we were having dinner and one of SD's best friends and her mom came to visit. This particular friend is my favorite, LOL I would adopt her if I could. We have taken her on several vacations and she has been around us since about 8.
SD's friend was in tears about how SD is treating her and the lies that have been spread through the school and basically her life is miserable at school from all of SD's harassment. By this time her mother was in tears as well. Then of course I got choked up as well.
SD's friend's mom has talked to BM and the school, but has basically gotten no help. The school said they will let SD know if there is anymore online proof of this SD will be suspended. It all has to do with a boy liking her and this is a boy who SD likes. SD has a BF in another school, but apparently likes this one too.
I am pi$$ed that the school is going to warn SD not to post anymore. They should have suspended her based on the printouts the mom provided them! The damage has been done, you can't take those things back now.
DH and I calmed them down and they stayed for dinner and basically we said we would try to find some way to help them with this. We told them we are ashamed that this has been going on.
What would you do? How can I help this girl who's school life has been hell because of my SD? ANY suggestions are welcomed!
Patsy, it's nice you want to
Patsy, it's nice you want to help the bullied girl, but really I think your focus should be on SD.
DH really needs to come down hard on SD. Just brainstorming here, I don't know what your current custody arrangement is, but is there any way DH can ban SD from Facebook?
You could not allow her to go on the computer, and if she accesses FB from her phone, take that away as well.
If that wouldn't work, ya'll should try to think up some other kind of punishment for SD. I often say a parent needs to find the kid's kryptonite, the one thing that really hurts when you take it away. For my D15, I discovered it was taking her cell phone away. Figure out what your SD likes and wants more than anything, and take that away.
And of course, DH needs to be the leader in doing this, while you back him up.
I would be right there with
I would be right there with you, but we only have SD EOWE. BM has no intention of helping with this.
Ugh. Maybe DH could still
Ugh. Maybe DH could still have a talk with SD? If nothing else just so she knows that he doesn't condone her behavior.
Oh that much is coming for
Oh that much is coming for sure!
Trying to discipline her when
Trying to discipline her when BM will just come get her, that is impossible... Makes me :sick: !
PUNISH HER! Is what I meant
PUNISH HER! Is what I meant not discipline. If only she cared about others! Life would be so much better!
We were so shocked and
We were so shocked and emotional I don't think the mention of a police officer came up. Your right this is NOT a "phase"! I was a teenager and even then I had empathy for others.
Misery loves company. Maybe
Misery loves company. Maybe show her some youtube videos of mean girls bullying someone and tell her that is how people see her??? I'm not good at this stuff, sorry.
If this child was "normal" I
If this child was "normal" I think that would work. Unfortunately, my SD does not have empathy for others. Lately she only seems to care about how things affect her.
Belt = jail. I like the idea
Belt = jail. I like the idea about the sign though. I'd do the sign thing for sure.
Sadly we have no control over
Sadly we have no control over her phone or internet use 80% of the time
Your right I think the cops
Your right I think the cops are the only ones who can help now. BM doesn't care about it.
Funny you should mention that
Funny you should mention that I was just thinking of a day that I could go with her to the school.
I do not want anything to
I do not want anything to happen to her, but really it needs to be SD'd friend's mom to pursue that route. I will help once she has made the contact to the police first.
You could also have DH's
You could also have DH's attorney contact her attorney about possible parental neglect actions in court for her lack of address in this matter. Maybe that could get her thinking. If it doesn't take her to court for parental neglect and bring the printouts with you.