Anybody else actually get sick from this lifestyle?
I was recently diagnosed with panic disorder, an illness I was gloriously free of for 41 years before I married into this drama less than a year ago. I have a panic attack (or 2) almost daily now. My psychiatrist started me on a low dose of Xanax, which seems to help the acute phase of the attacks.
A few months after our marriage, I was diagnosed with stage 2 hypertension (high blood pressure), although my blood pressure was still great two months before I moved in. I do have some risk factors for hypertension (family history, overweight), but I still think it’s an amazing “coincidence” that it developed when it did.
Have any of you had similar experiences, or is this just evidence that I am really, really not cut out for this life?
I would give you details of what I mean by “this life,” but you already know exactly what I mean: Spineless DH, kids who are basically in charge, hostile BM, etc. Any one of you could write the same stuff I would write.
I don't know, honestly. We
I don't know, honestly.
We were in marriage counseling within the past month, but DH only went to two sessions with me.
The counselor made some (totally accurate, spot on) observations about my husband's relationship with his children (that he lets them shit all over him, essentially), and DH refused to go back.
He wants me to find another marriage counselor, one who offers no observations, but rather "just listens" as we talk to each other. What the hell good is that? We can just set one of the cats on the end of the bed and do that.
My husband is so clueless that he thinks we are actually going to have a baby together! Is he so blind that he doesn't see how unhappy I am, and how blowing off our counseling makes me even more doubtful about our future and determined not to allow a pregnancy? How can someone with a master's degree be so clueless?
I am seeing the same counselor for individual therapy now (only 2 sessions so far), but I think he is super.
Ahhhh, the perfect example of
Ahhhh, the perfect example of "book smarts"....people like that have NO common sense. lol.
"I married a genius but I
"I married a genius but I live with an idiot" wins best one liner of the day for me. My husband - very smart, successful at work, manages multi million pound budgets, has no clue how to manage his ex or his children with her. He can plan and deliver huge projects, but he cannot face a difficult conversation with one of his children.
I get panic attacks sometimes
I get panic attacks sometimes but not because of my lifestyle. If I let the trials and tribulations of my life bother me that much I'd be a nut for sure. I have ZERO contact with BM and very little with SDs when they're not visiting. Perhaps you should try and distance yourself a little more? Don't feel guilty, as there's nothing wrong with that. I like to think of myself as like an aunt to them. All of the fun but none of the guilt and headaches. I leave the legal issues and CS to my husband to deal with. I give my opinions when asked and support his decisions and that's about it. I used to tell myself I need to have more of a bond with SDs and even made a post asking how to facilitate this. After some thinking and reading and more thinking I've decided that what I described above is the best way to handle things from now on. Less is more. I feel like if they wanted me more involved they would make it so. And after all, I have my own 6month old to worry about and parent. My panic attacks are purely situational so I just avoid triggers when I can. Are you a new step parent? I've been at this for 6 yrs now and it took me this long to reach my conclusions. Hang in there!
Yes, I've been married less
Yes, I've been married less than a year. I have no bio children. DH has SD18, SD15, and SS12 (who acts about 5, unfortunately).
Technically, I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase of my marriage. Sure as hell doesn't feel like any honeymoon I've ever heard of.
There was a very similar
There was a very similar topic on here recently, with two or three pages of responses. lol. I think most of us here are falling apart. But to answer your question, yup, I'm right there with you. The panic attacks, high blood pressure, depression, and I realize that I've been drinking wayyy too much, just trying to calm my nerves. I, too, have just begun seeing a therapist. I'm hoping it helps, because if something doesn't change, I worry that I won't live to see 50.
I haven't been diagnosed
I haven't been diagnosed particularly with any extra since entering the lifestyle however I haven't really gone to the doctor.
I will say my muscle spasm in my shoulder happen more, I find myself having higher blood pressure which affects my blood sugar more (I simply stay busy a lot and will forget to eat) even when I do it they seem to hand in hand.
My stress causes more headaches and just feeling more out of it or sick during certain confrontation time periods.
I think we put ourselves in this not realizing how much our choices not only affect us mentally but also physically.
Yep all the same as you.
Yep all the same as you. Never on any meds until we got full custody of the brats. I'm on high blood meds, sleep med and so far. It helps I have to see less and less of the sbrats each year.
I have an autoimmune disease
I have an autoimmune disease that is most likely hereditary. But I think that it is so bad now and reached the point that it has is because of my past relationship with my ex husband. i also am pretty sure that I have ptsd from those 23 years.
After four years with my SO, I thought I was getting better. But the stress from the last 1-2 years since I moved in with my bf seem to have made my health worse. I know that it's mostly from the worry and stress of dealing with his daughter and that bullshit. A lot of it is from my worry about my finances.
Wow. 3 years and three drugs
Wow. 3 years and three drugs for me. Xanax is what gets me through the five kids, husband who is gone all the time, crazy BM and overly strict BD. I never felt so out of myself until I remarried. There are good times, but they are few and far between. I do get sick from the ups and downs and all the bs. I was an optimist prior to this marriage....now I am surviving.
I know exactly what you mean.
I know exactly what you mean. I have the spineless DH, skid who runs the show, and hostile BM that you speak of. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and have had my share of panic attacks. I am constantly stressed with all the non-stop drama of this lifestyle. I try to not let it affect me, but how is that possible? I do live here, after all!
Anyway, I was on Lexapro for a couple years and it did help with the anxiety but I gained weight on it so I stopped. I switched to Wellbutrin because (according to my dr) it isn't known to cause weight gain (may actually cause weight loss, which is what I needed after the weight gain on Lexapro). It definitely did not work as well as the Lexapro.
Currently, DH and I are trying to conceive so I am not on any meds and it has been bad. I'm really stressed. I wish I could take my Lexapro.
Well, I guess I just deal
Well, I guess I just deal with the times SD is here because the times she is not here, things are actually really great.
Forgive me but I was going to
Forgive me but I was going to ask the same question. Save your uterus for someone who truly deserves you. A baby will complicate things even worse for the both of you...
Oh yes, the emotional
Oh yes, the emotional rollercoaster ride of stepdom will take you to many dark and scary places while it is messing with your entire system! Was down to maybe two migraines a month and now I am having two a week sometimes. Had not had to see neurologist for five years but going back next week. Having to live with constant turmoil and bottling it up inside will wreck you! And so far, yoga ain't the cure it's cracked up to be!
May God bless us all!
I too am on medication for
I too am on medication for panic attacks and other lovely things due to being to the drama of DH's family. I was not on this before, I was at a great weight and I was tanning and taking great care of myself.
That is going to change here and now. Things in our household WILL change or else I am gone. I don't deserve this kind of life at my age and I don't deserve to walk into a crapload of unnecessary drama that I cannot nor should not deal with. My depression is hereditary but I want to beat all of this.
And I will....