I would say that she has the right to be upset - only because she feels stupid she didn't get it done when it needed to done.

Though in no way do I see y'all as being in the wrong. There is no reason to hinder the kid just because BM failed to get something done, when there is a perfectly good person in the same trusted network to see the child. I feel like he did the right thing and offered and her declining means that you have the right to take her - I know BM would not agree with what I am saying but in this circumstance it is not like you are taking SD to go get Birth Control or anything you are going to get her looked at with no further decisions...so BM can get over herself and not hinder her child.

Usually I'd disagree with this but this could have a big impact on sd. I think you should take her, and bm should take herself to a counselor. I'm sure it's got to be hard to see another woman doing these things with your kid but the kid shouldn't be jeopardized.

Wow, BM does like to work herself into a tizzy (shrugs)

Both parents blew it on the timing of the physical. Most school districts let parents know a sports physical is due on or before the first day of practice. Sports physicals are a dime a dozen at numerous outlets all summer long. These physicals are not considered in-depth physicals and children's non-regular peds (for younger kids) routinely do them.

BM is over-reacting about 'who' must perform this physical. Fact is , there is no reason for BM had to keep the regular yearly physical with the child's dr that is also scheduled. Have your BF assure BM that that appointment still stands. He should also assure BM that there is no reason for you to accompany that 12yr old into the actual office room for this sports physical. Go in, let desk know kid is there, when nurse calls kid in, let the nurse take charge of kiddo from there. Kid gets done, comes out, you pay and off you both go. Don't forget to have BF give you a written statement from him that you have his permission to take this kid to dr whatever his name is for a simple sports physical (they may or may not ask to see this).

These really are non excitable appointments. Your local Walgreen clinic probably has performed these daily all summer long for kids they're never seen before and may never see again. The physical are cheap (because they are limited and very basic) and it's really nothing for BM to wing out over. By the way, I agree that either BM or Dad should be taking child for regular dr visits and any medical treatments. The only time I would have some leeway I that is emergency situations (kid fall out of tree broke arm) and neither parent can get there quickly. In that event, the non-parent is solely a means of transportation and any actual discussion with dr and/or medical decisions could and would be by phone between parent and dr/nurse.

I remember a number of yrs ago when my mother took my then 20yr oldish daughter to hospital for outpatient surgery (non-serious) when I had two toddlers in home (my GS and youngest daughter). Once DD was out and on table, dr discover another problem and he called me and received my permission as DD's next of kin to do the additional area of concern. As my DD was under anesthesia and could not make her own decision, and my mother is not DD's legal next of kin, dr had to seek my permission to make decision in place of my daughter. In fact dr phoned me twice that day. Once for permission and inform me exactly what was occurring, and once to inform how the procedure had went. Except to nod at my mother as he bustled pass, he spoke to my mother not at all. As it should be.

I agree that the physical should have been done weeks ago. When I was in school, practices often started before the first day of school, and physicals were due before we could participate. It's pretty common knowledge .. so unless SD didn't decide to play until late, I don't see why the physical was scheduled so far out.

She's probably not taking SD to this new physical because you only gave her 24 hrs notice. Does she have a job or a schedule? I mean, if BM did this to us, it's not likely that we'd be able to take the skids either. She probably feels bullied into letting you take SD so she's grasping at straws for reasons to prevent it.

It's all petty. It's all a control game. Take the kid to the physical, but honestly, DH really should be doing these things. If he's got sole custody, there's no reason he needs to explain himself to BM as long as skid is being properly cared for. But I do kind of see BM's train of thought here.

On a side note, the CVS (drug store) Minute Clinics do sport physicals .. they're not exactly the most technical or advanced aspect of medical practice

BMs have a tendancy to get themselves worked up over NOTHING. I don't see what the issue is in your case. I played sports in school and always got my sports physicals at the school nurse's office- everyone I know did. There's no reason it needs to be done in his pediatrician's office. It's a quick 10 minute check-up.