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Just found out last night

theoutsider's picture

I was showing my boyfriend how to do something on his phone and an email came through.

Before he could stop me, I opened it

"wanna nut?"

He grabbed the phone out of my hand.
Long story short, he admitted to sextexting through craigslist, and with some woman who is listed as "bobtom" in his phone who lives in the next town over. It was pulling teeth to get him to even admit to that's.. He swears he has never slept with anyone after he and I have been together...

But he said, "here it is. This is it. I cant stop im adicted ive tried. Thats why I cant marry. I knew you would leave me when you found out. Im so embarrassed, so ashamed."

He does not want me to move out. Says he feels so much better knowing now that I know...

I don't know what to do... I was already planning to move out but not break up with him until he figured his shit out.
But now he says that that was it, that was holding him back and he wants to talk to our minister about conseling for him by himself and the two of us together, and he wants to come with me monday to my session I had.already invited him t o.

Disneyfan's picture

The man does not want to marry you.

He will has nothing but excuses~each one more creative than the last. Of course he doesn't you to move out. If you do, he'll have to find a new women to nanny, cook, clean and trick into thinking he will one day marry her.

Please love yourself more than you love this user/loser.

whatwasithinkin's picture

Contact the women if that is really all it was, she will tell you. Until you do you will never know if his addiction is really an addiction

whatwasithinkin's picture

Contact the women if that is really all it was, she will tell you. Until you do you will never know if his addiction is really an addiction

Rags's picture

If his mouth is open he is lying. Go, go now and write this worthless POS off. Don't even look back and don't interface with him at all. He has no character, he has no honor and he is a waste of your time.

My own XW cheated for nearly our entire marriage short though it was (2.5 years). As soon as our divorce was final she wanted to start dating each other and sleeping together when I was in town. I had been married to her and I had no use for her at that point.

IMHO of course.

simifan's picture

((((Hugs)))) it is always so easy to say what we would do when we are not the ones facing the fire. I am so sorry the happened to you.

simifan's picture

((((Hugs)))) it is always so easy to say what we would do when we are not the ones facing the fire. I am so sorry the happened to you.

twoviewpoints's picture

Yeah sure, now that you know he's promising to fix everything and you two will live happily ever after. IMO you need to remove yourself from his nearness and really review the larger picture than just the sex-text. He supposedly divorced his ex because she was cheating. Maybe she was, but maybe there is much more to what all happened in that marriage. After the divorce, he slept with his ex (supposedly for revenge). After that the guy screwed numerous females, just about any one of them that would hold still long enough. Then you. You came in became the housekeeper and kid caretaker and several years in you accidently see his phone with sexual invitations (from craigslist :jawdrop: no less).

How much more don't you know about? If I were you one of the first things I'd do is remove myself from his house to put distance between you so you can think without his influence and go down and have yourself tested to make sure BF hasn't infected you with anything. You need time to yourself. Is there a friend or a relative you can stay with for a while? What you decide to do after a break away from him then will be of course up to you. Only you know what you can and can't live with or work through. But IMO in the immediate timeframe you need to think about you and what you need/want to do.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

loveandfitness's picture

I am SO SORRY. This really sucks. I caught my FH doing the same thing with an EX-HS GF. I gave him a second chance, however he never admitted to being addicted and promised it would end. As far as I know it has.
However, if I were you, I would leave now before investing anything more into the relationship which would make it harder to leave later, especially since he "can't" (Won't) stop. Addictions can be overcome, but ONLY if the person GENUINELY WANTS to stop.

emotionaly beat up's picture

I guess you only have to ask yourself. Can you ever really trust him again. Would you feel panic every time he was out of your sight with a mobile phone. If he gives you full access to his mobile, would you wonder if he had deleted things he didn't want you to see, would you worry he had gotten himself a second phone. If he's in a room with a computer are you going to stress over what he's doing. Because if you can't just move on, put this behind you and trust him completely. Don't waste one more minute of your life with him. If you cannot trust him completely, your relationship will end sooner or later. Perhaps leave and give yourself time apart to work out how YOU really feel. You cannot live your life looking over his shoulder. Well, you can, but you are going to make yourself one very anxious and stressed young lady.