So I hope I am not writing and taking up to many spots in the forum but this truly since I have found it has been a life saver since I don't have anybody to vent to. My bio-son and I have had a off again on again relationship. For the longest time I was a single mother and raised DD and DS on my own. Their father and I divorced when they were young.. toddler young. I met a guy and things went great he took these kids in like they were his own since he has no bio children. Long story short after a 9 year relationship I realized that I was no longer in love with him and was just going through the emotions day to day. My children at that time were 17 and 15 they didn't have much contact with good old bio dad because of his alcoholism and that in time was their choice not mine. I allowed them to go on their weekend visitations until trouble transpired down there and dad was arrested. The kids were closer to my boyfriend at the time then they were their own father. My ex boyfriend is a great guy and we are still friends. Decided to part ways before we became enemies. When the relationship ended my bio son thought the grass would be greener down at dads because he allowed him to do whatever he wanted. I relayed my concerns to bio son and said it was not a good idea since previous him and his father had a physical confrontation and it fell on deaf ears and bio son stopped talking to me. I happened to stop over to dads house one day and I could tell my son had been in a fight. I asked what happened he said he had gotten into a fight at school. Dad yells from the other room "tell her the rest of the story" He then proceeded to tell me that he had also gotten arrested for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Since he was 15 at the time I could not force him to come home.. So fast forward a couple more months and I find out when he turned 16 dad allowed him to quit school. I was flabbergasted.. But just kept my mouth shut because no matter what i said wasnt going to matter. A month later I get a phone call from exhusband stating he was going to pick up our son from the police station. I said for what well come to find out step mom pressed harrasment charges because he threatened to kill her when his dad and her were fighting. Step mom and dad were not together dad was living with new girlfriend I called the police station to find out when my son was released if there would be a restraining order since step mom and dad lived together. They said yes but told me that i had to come down when my son went in front of the judge cause dad was drunk and they wasnt sure if the judge would release my son to him. So i drive down there an hour one way I get there and its 1:30 in the morning. Judge was not a happy camper. Dad shows up with new girlfriend in tow and they sit behind me in the court. Dads new girlfriend proceeds to talk to me about her jerry springer drama and how Dads wife is sleeping with her husband.. HUh.. that is another story in itself. I tell her I dont want to hear it and ignore her. son comes in and judge starts going off on him my son says he refuses to go home with me and judge issues restraining order and releases him to dads girlfriend.. :jawdrop: Fast forward a couple more months son is living with dads now exgirlfriend and dad is back with wife. Son cant be there do to restraining order. Son calls up mom and begs me to come get him. I going down there and move him back in with me. I get him back in school and he graduates.. <<-- smart move. Then I tell him he needs to find a job or go to college. Doesnt like either idea so yup you guessed it moves back down with dad. few months of going great and I hate mom and calls me all sorts of names and I am dead to him blah blah blah fighting with dad and threatens to kill me dad and himself dad takes him to hospital for eval they keep him for 3 days. Dad calls stating son is doing great doesnt want anything to do with me I am dead to him. blah blah blah. bam drunken fight between dad and son and dad kicks son out my son moves from place to place. Fast forward to today. The people who he was staying with dropped him off at ex boyfriends house cause I have just recently moved and have not been in contact with him. DH refuses to let him back with us cause of the threats and the violence with his dad and when he lived with us last it didnt end well. So needless to say I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Cause hubby doesnt seem to understand the emotion I am going through. No matter what he has done or said he is still my son.