**This is rather long, but I am trying to write down everything that has happened**

2008-2011 BM starts her cycle of stealing, lying, constantly being arrested, in and out of jail, and neglecting her children. She steals from family. DH is trapped because her mother constantly enables her and uses the two children as pawns. BM frequently abandons the children at home. She goes to detox centers, but always manages to talk her way into leaving.    DH finally officially ends things with BM, and she is once again arrested.

Late 2011 - I meet my husband .BM is currently serving a 6 month jail sentence for violating drug court. She and DH have already broken up and been separted for roughly a year. He is raising SD and SS by himself. He briefly tells me the situation and in my head I think "Alright. I can do this. Once she gets out, surely she will straighten herself up and we can co-parent these children." Fast forward to two weeks later, she is released from jail - barely sees her children, steals money from her sister's purse, goes out with her drug dealer friend to get high. Steals a phone from a woman's car (in the parking lot right across from the jail, mind you) and gets caught. Goes right back to jail after being out for less than 72 hours. The judge gives her court-ordered rehab (ridiculous to me, she should have wanted that on her own). 

2012-2013 - BM spends time at rehab. She communicates solely with her mother (who has been her main enabler). Other family members have cut her off after being burned too many times. She visits town once and briefly sees SS (who is 11 at the time),but DH refuses to let SD (5) see her, as she is so young and impressionable and it will only confuse he once she leaves again. Around this time, DH decides to file for custody after we get married. We hire a lawyer, have everything written out, get to court....and BM is a no-show. DH is granted temporary sole custody of the children. A few months later, BM peititons the court. We go back....and again she does now show up. The judge laughs at the disrespect, grants my husband sole custody and strips BM of visitation rights for good measure. Later, BM makes up every excuse in the book to why she couldn't make it. (Then we find out a few days after her first missed court date, she was in town with some of her rehab friends).

2014 - BM "graduates" rehab and moves into sober living. In a turn of events, she starts dating a woman. She comes into town to visit her sister and ends up stealing a safe full of expensive, antique items. BM takes these items to a pawn shop and is promptly arrested. She returns to jail.

2015 - 2016 Once released from jail, BM ends up in a homeless shelter. At this point, she has spent more time in jail than with her own children. She briefly lives with her mother, but is asked to leave after refusing to pay half the bills. One of her Aunts takes pity on her and allowes her to move in.

2017 - BM's mother passes away. The funeral is very awkward. SS doesn't even want to speak to her. SD doesn't even know who she is. Shortly after this, BM is kicked out of her Aunt's house and is arrested again. She spends time in prison (now a convicted felon). Once released, she moves in with her mother's best friend (regretfully, right up the street from where we live). DH finally agrees to meet with her in personand they seem to come to an understanding that she will maintain a job, get her own place, a car and stay clean for at least a year and then then they will talk about the children and moving forward. A few days later, BM lies to her sister and says that DH was completely fine with her seeing the children and spends an afternoon with SD behind our backs.This causes a massive argument, because she manipulated the situation. DH is too angry to fetch SD, so he sends me. I was too frustrated to even speak to her. BM apologizes, but not really. She attempts to re-connect with SS - now a teenager- by engaging in illegal behavior with him. DH and I find out, and SS again refuses to speak to her. 

2018 - BM is arrested again for an old warrant and shoplifting. She spends more time in jail. She is released into another rehab. She briefly lives with her sister (in their mother's house), but is kicked out after she finds out she is back on heroin. After this, she reconnects with an old boyfriend and moves in with him (again, very close to where we live). 

2019 - 2020 BM continually reaches out to SS, who promptly comes over and tells her to her face he wants nothing to do with her and he needs to leave me, DH and SD alone. She messages DH and begs to see SD - she even offers money. He tells her the recent arrest is too fresh and he is still upset that she lied to him and to get herself together first. She keeps trying to reach out to SS, even offering to buy him weed and alcohol and vape pens. She messages DH again and tells him that she is taking us back to court for custody and vistiation, that she has been "trying to stay clean" and taking parenting classes. She claims to have put a retainer down on an attorney and meets with a case worker weekly. Shortly after this, we notice a brand-new car in her driveway. 

2021 - SD comes to me hysterically crying because her Aunt told her that BM is taking back custody of her and she is going to live with her. Repeatedly tells us that she does not want that. We manage to calm her down. SS meets with BM to help her move a couch and prompty goes off on her for the situation, causing BM to cry and play victim. Aunt comes into town to visit and spends the day with SD. Shortly after she leaves, SD tells me she has a change of heart about Bio Mom. Tells me things like "the past is in the past" and "people make mistakes" and all those things were "so long ago" and that she wants to try to re-build a relationship with her and give her "one more chance." DH and I discuss the fact that it has been over a year since BM said she was taking us back to court and wonder if that's something that's even going to really happen.