If he wants to see his child more, which is understandable, he needs to get that put in the written plan. Then you can at least know when the kids will be over and can plan accordingly.

This is also not meant to offend--but I think you might want to look at the deeper reason behind why you're unhappy and why he knows you're unhappy. It would be the same reasons for you as it would for me as I am sure would have been for him had he been in your position (some men are not as stupid as our media portrays them to be in regards to the feelings of human females.)

1. He did not consult you about the change and the final order. Understandable why I would be upset--if being together is practice for the long run, then I would like to know my opinion counts. I think had he asked you first and spoke with you about it, it may not have upset you given you resolved reason number 2--

2. ...which is at there are aspects of the skids and more importantly, how he parents, that make a mess out of your life. Had that been fixed, I think you guys would have found a reasonable compromise.

Best of luck, I think communication and moving forward, him respecting what you need out of the relationship (transparency and not feeling like you're life is jerked around on his whims) and the two of you working for a compromise would help a lot.

Not to offend, but...

BF was seeing his kids 4 days a month with the eowe schedule. Now he will see them 8 - 12 times. I would think that you would appreciate a man that wants to see his children.

I know it's easier to play single life when his children ate only a factor for 4 days a month, but the truth is that he has children and he would like to spend time with them. He can blame the extra visitation on BM, but if he didn't actually want it, he would not have agreed to it.

Time to look at the relationship and BF for what they really are.

Well good on him for wanting to see his kids. But will he be there weekdays when they are there. Will he chip in and help with the extra workload they create. Who will take them to school, pick them up, and stay home with them if they are too sick to attend school on one of their weekday visits.

The scheduling and the above all should have been discussed with you BEFORE the schedule was drawn up.

I see your concerns of being treated like a child with ice cream and chocolate bribes. I also think it is a concern none of the above was discussed with you before he and BM had agreed on it, and it was drawn up and ready to present to the judge. If you two are going to do this successfully there needs to be better communication and he needs to put in. I'm guessing he didn't tell you because he wanted to do this, and he knew you wouldn't want to. This way it was all over bar the shouting before you were even told. I don't think it's fair that something that impacts on your life was not discussed with you prior to papers bring drawn to your boyfriends satisfaction.

By the way, don't excuse him and blame BM. If he didn't want to do this, he wouldn't have. This is what HE wants to do.

Well, if his attitude to this situation is, he can do as he pleases, see his kids and have them over whenever he likes, and you can suck it up or move out. I well, that pretty much says it all doesn't

I did have to laugh though when you said he won't ask you to move out because he is a nice guy. Honey, I don't mean to offend you here, but one day you will see what I am about to say is spot on.

He won't ask you to move out because he is a gutless guy. Because he is the kind of guy who likes to look like a nice guy to everybody, while in the meantime he goes about living his life doing exactly what he wants to do, and doesn't give a rats behind about how that impacts on anyone else. Further to that, he likes to get the sympathy attention and accolades for being a nice guy.

If you stay and look after his child for him, well so what, you won't get any medals for that, that's considered to be doing what you should be doing. He on the other hand, even though he has dumped responsibility for the child fully on your shoulders will be seen as a great dad for spending all that time with his child. Yep, even though he's not the one spending time with the child, he will get the pat on the back.

If you go,. Well he fairs even better, you dumped him, not because he treated you unfairly in this, but because he was being a great dad. Thats the spin he will put on it. You will be the heartless bitch that left this father to work and take care of his child. He will get a lot of mileage out of that one, and a lot of help and support, because, he poor thing is a single dad. It's win win for him either way.

He's not a nice guy. Nice guys don't disrespect their partners like this. He's weak and that's why he didn't discuss it with you in the first place.
He didn't want the confrontation, but he wanted the child. He's pretty selfish, but a nice guy, absolutely not.

You will always be in the wrong with this kind of guy, always. Mo matter what you do, it will be taken for granted. He's right, you should move out because it would be in your own best interests and you would have the opportunity to meet someone who is capable of caring about your feelings, needs and wants, a true nice guy. What you have, is a selfish man, not a nice one. You will see this one day.

No you won't because as I sad he's set it up so as you are the bitch and he the victim. Well he and his child are the victims of YOUR selfishness. You see, he puts out half the story, the part that makes him look good, and to make you look bad, he absolutely does not tell them he set all this up without talking to you, and he expects you to be the carer while he's away. He doesn't tell people that he has no ntention f changing work arrangements to accommodate this, he doesn't tell people that he will give you jack squat physical support, he doesn't tell people why you are really upset. He just paints you in a bad light. He will not change. Think this over very carefully. Thses guys are not worth the trouble. You may love him,but he is too in love with himself to ever truly love anyone but himself. You need to take away a little of that love you have for him and give it to yourself. Narcissism seems to have become an infectious disease these days and is on the rise. You can do far better than a narcissist for a partner. These people destroy you, they eat at your confidence and wipe away your self esteem. You deserve to be treated as a equal as a partner. Not the cook, cleaner, babysitter and occasional bed mate.

Mom4amie fair comment, she has to compromise. But it is also fair to ask how does he expect to remarry and start a new life with someone with or without kids, and then just unilaterally make decisions without consulting his partner. It was his place to discuss his plans with her, because his plans impact on her life. He just did what suited BM and himself and she was just supposed to suck it up along with the ice cream.

The root of this problem is simply his lack of respect, manners and consideration for his new wife.

No worries clover girl. I'm sure you get enough of DH expecting you to just "fit in". He had children and an ex before he married you. He made the choice to move on and re marry knowing full well the temperament and personality of the ex he left behind. He knew his kids. He knew exactly what his intentions were as far as this latest schedule. Seems he was fully armed, had all the knowledge past and present to make good decisions, you on the other hand married him in good faith believing he was who he presented to be. You really weren't armed to make good decisions, because like so many DHs on here, once they marry the new wife, all of a sudden the old wife becomes the higher priority. I think they feel guilty for leaving the kids, then guilty for re marrying, and for some Godforsaken reason, think the new wife should just accept she came second, he has a first family, and second wife needs to take a back seat to that family, because after all, they have nothing, and you have him. Sheesh, the arrogance is gobsmacking.

Marriage is a two way street, give and take and compromise ON BOTH SIDES. it's not about one person doing what they feel like, fitting in with someone outside the marriage, and not consulting with their partner. Marriage is about each one putting the other first. Not the ex, not the kids, not the in laws. But husband and wife putting each other first.

For step situations to work, the husband and wife must work, for the husband and wife to work, there must be MUTUAL respect.