Back from our trip .. BM being difficult as usual
BM "forgot" the medical forms completed by skids' doctors she was supposed to give DH in order for him to register them for day care this summer. She said she will mail them directly to the day care since DH didn't need them himself. Not a big deal .. but typical BM. I'm sure she's changed plenty of information on the contact sheets.
She also is now refusing ANY modification to the custody agreement. Even though the modification draft DH gave her ONLY included things they've recently discussed. She left a voicemail saying, "I've changed my mind and I'm fine with the way our current agreement is written so I'm not signing anything".
She was really going for this "kill him with kindness" bit but it is so fake .. she was feeling and acting especially empowered this weekend since her friend was visiting from out of town (and was present and closely involved in EVERY exchagne between BM and DH) :sick:
No clue what we're going to do about it. Just wait a few weeks to see if she changes her mind, I guess. I have little doubt that she'll end up getting whatever she wants .. seems to happen that way all the time anyway.
We had crap weather the first two days of the trip, but great weather the last day. We forced a water park trip anyway on Saturday which turned out alright .. but it was cool most of the morning and skids had an okay time all things considered.
As soon as she realized that
As soon as she realized that she is not the shot caller the better off she will be.
What water park did you go to? I was having work done on my house Friday and the sky looked like it was gonna fall at any second...and that humidity was just hanging and hanging. Yuck.
We went to Splashtown. It
We went to Splashtown. It was the cheapest option for all the ones we looked at (Seaworld and Schlitterbahn) and considering we weren't confident the weather would hold, we didn't want to invest a lot of money.
It wasn't a bad park; practically empty so we had the park to ourselves for the first 2 hours or so
Friday we did the McKenna children's museum in New Braunfels (we've already been to the one in downtown San Antonio) and then hung by the pool at the hotel. It sprinkled a tiny bit, but skids were fine in the heated pool
As for BM, I'd like to think
As for BM, I'd like to think she doesn't call the shots .. but it really feels like she does. DH is always on the defensive, or walking on egg shells hoping to get her to agree to something.
I think part of the problem is DH's lawyer. She is SOOOO hesitant to fight/file anything in court unless it's some sort of signed agreement between BM and DH. She drags her feet on everything. So BM gets away with a little here and a little there .. and DH just has to deal with it.
We've consulted with other attorneys. They all tell us ours is one of the best and she will do just a good a job as anyone else. It just sucks.
We have these two contempt charges we've been sitting on, but honestly, with all the time that's gone by, I don't think a judge would do anything at this point. So we'd bare all of the expense and time to go to court, just for BM's actions to be validated.
Glad you had a good trip,
Glad you had a good trip, sorry to hear the news about the custody agreement.
I agree that trying to pursue the contempt changes now after so much time has passed is most likely a waste of money. Sorry things turned out like this.
All we can do now is wait for
All we can do now is wait for BM to violate again, and then try to file charges. I think we've screwed ourselves on that too. Since we DIDN'T file the charges the first time through, it sets a precedent that we're okay with her interpretation of the agreement (or that's how she'd argue it at least).
Damned if we do, damned if we dont'.
The ONLY good thing is DH can turn around and pull the same shit on her without "violating" the agreement. But I don't know if sinking to her level really solves anything.
"The ONLY good thing is DH
"The ONLY good thing is DH can turn around and pull the same shit on her without "violating" the agreement"
Upcoming example .. DH has to pay half of the skids' airfare to fly back here on May 24. BM already booked the flights early this month and requested DH reimburse his half by April 15.
He still hasn't paid it to her. Considering the flights aren't until May 24, and she has a history of changing travel plans last minute for her own benefit, DH is thinking of just waiting until skids arrive to pay his half.
Nothing in the agreement stipulates WHEN the cost has to be shared.
Yeah, it's darned if you do
Yeah, it's darned if you do darned if you don't, so I wouldn't be in a rush to pay BM either.
Could dh get copies of those
Could dh get copies of those forms from the doctors office?
They are the forms the day
They are the forms the day care provided to be filled out. He could get new copies and send them directly to the doctor to be completed.
He didn't do it that way because BM was supposed to have their physicals done as well. She didn't. She just took the forms to the office and had them fill them out (they are really just medication instructions for their asthma).
It's not a big deal as long as the forms make it to the day care. DH will call at the end of the week to confirm they received them and proceed from there. It's just typical her .. they AGREED that he would drop the forms off when he was there in March, and she AGREED to have the physicals and forms completed and return the forms to him when he came back in April.
We only see them on weekends, so he can't get them to the doctors himself. They move back here May 24 and start day care the following Tuesday (Monday is a holiday); so there is no time for him to do it himself like he had to last year.
We were always told to wait
We were always told to wait until you have enough evidence to show a pattern before filing for contempt. Meaning you needed more than one time to prove willful contempt. I have never heard of not filing equaling agreeance.
I'm not sure the contempt
I'm not sure the contempt cases we may or may not have had even matter now.
It's not always so clear cut when BM violates the agreement .. she definitely pushes the line and makes every thing as difficult as possible; including adding her own stipulations for DH to see the skids.
But it's all such a grey area. She's become very good at manipulating the situation just enough to not blatantly violate (barring the two cases we wanted to pursue filing on) .. and of course any kind of clarification that DH wants to add to STOP this behavior is subject to her agreeing to it. Which she won't. Why would she?
His lawyer files the custody modifications/agreements that they both agree to .. but so far, that's been it .. and neither one was very significant.