I'd just say no. Your sd is wrong. You do not have to be at any of her events just because you are with her dad. You can choose to be if you like-but are under no obligation to take photos, attend, or do her hair for her.

Why cant she go to a hairdresser like every other teen nowadays? I do understand prom is special for her-although given her age it appears that she will have several more proms, so really not all THAT special. But it is NOT special for you. Im assuming youve been there, done that. And this is not your precious princess's big day, so why even consider making yourself awkard and uncomfortable? You also need to let you fdh know that you really have no interst in her prom and perhaps-he should do her hair and hang out with bm for hours if thats what he wants.

your DH would be screwed if he was mine.

when sd had homecoming I made sure my DD's and I were long gone early in the morning and we didnt return until well after she was gone

funny too and ironic because I just this morning pulled up the school websight to see when prom was and began planning our escape.
she was pissed for homecoming

she wanted dd to do her hair, when dd told her she wasnt going to be home SD came outside and said your going to have to do my hair I laughed and said who do you think dd is going out with?

she is not going to ignore me and my kids and be ignorant and write things all over twitter about me and my kids and then benefit from a mother and sisters when its conveint for her ...no way no how

Follow me here - JUST SAY NO! No to doing her hair, no to going to BM's, no to it all! You may look like the evil stepmom, but guess what? You already are in her eyes anyway. No harm, no foul.

I'm with you on this one. But I learned my lesson before prom, so it's all to the good. SD asked me to curl her hair and she has lots so it took me forever. Well, I'm not a professional by any stretch of the imagination and as soon as the curls started to relax she got pissy at me and said it was a waste of time. Two hours! Never again. She also used to like me to french braid her hair but she'd always to go through DH to pressure me into doing it, which made me resentful. I did it the first time and it was hard because she hadn't brushed well and there were lots of knots. I told her the next time she would have to brush her hair well before I started. Well, she refused to do it, so I didn't braid her hair any more.

SD knows you are available to do her hair, at YOUR house. If she chooses not to take you up on that offer, that's her problem, not yours.

Yeah, no, I don't get told what to do by a 15 y/o. I personally don't "have to" do anything or be anywhere regarding skids. If my DH had offered me up like that, he would have to tell her he was mistaken, and un-offer me.

I agree with the others. Tell your DH and your SD no. You don't need a reason, you don't need to explain yourself, you don't need to apologize.

Cause last time I checked....this kid did NOT fall out of your girly parts.

Stay away from those events unless you are just that close to your SD and she is begging and pleading that you are there and it would make her happy.. But for a girl that age to not take your feelings into consideration shows a lot about her personality no matter what day it is you always have to be aware of your surroundings and it may be true that you will have to one day be in the same room but that's..IF YOU CHOOSE TO!@@. It makes me so upset even with my own SKs that people put so much title and things I should do when I feel like I get the choice I mean I dont get to claim them on my taxes I dont get any rights or titles so why should I have to do things I really dont want to do.. so guess what I DONT!!..LOL..dont get me wrong i LOVE MY SKs to death but they have a mom to do those things with and If I feel like it then I will!!!

i didn't have a damn thing to do with sd's prom. i didn't help her pick out a dress, take pictures, do her hair, nothing. not interested. her mom did come to my house to help her with her hair, but i wasn't home. i really don't care. they were both gone when i got home and that's all that mattered to me.

no way in hell would i have went to her mom's and done shit for her.

Oh I'd do her hair - really do it up such that she would NEVER ask me to do it again.

No I wouldn't put in the hot pink spray but I would put it UP with a lot of "product" so she would have one big greasy pony tail on top of her head.

What kind of girl can't do her own hair? If she was 7 I could understand it.

Repeat after me:
NO - not doing her hair (tell her she won't like it if you do)
NO - not just NO but HELL NO BM is never stepping foot in your home
NO - you are not playing photographer either.

Damn this is just a stupid prom for a 15 year old not a princess wedding.

If you somehow find yourself around her and her date give them a BIG DETAILED lecture about how losing your virginity on prom night is not acceptable. But then make some snarky comments about maybe that boat has already sailed. Say it all very sweetly but with lots of embarrassing details.

Does your DH know you're not his daughter's lady in waiting? Wow, this chick actually thinks you're part of her entourage. I think I'd be dropping some f-bombs by now. :jawdrop: