BF proposed to me yesterday amazing day....now the hell starts
SS5 is here for the week and BF works all week so I'm stuck with him 24/7....I've been dreading this...so have my bio kids,,I'm pregnant too and trying really hard to keep my stress down....somehow BM found out that BF was going to propose and confronted him last week saying dont you dare until she says he can...REALLY??? lol...so last night when he picked up SS5 she went off on him...whatever...and then kept calling which we never bothered to answer. She is friggin crazy. SS5 told me he doesn't want us to get married (who do you think put that in a 5 yr olds head)...then said he's not coming if we get married...all I could say is we are getting married we'd like you to come (what a lie) but we're still getting married even if you choose not to come....all he did was pout. when I went to go to bed last night...went to the washroom and he peed all over the seat...again...then this am...same thing..so I got him out of bed and made him clean it....this kid grosses me out so badly..all I can do is cringe thinking his grimy hands will be touching the new baby...picks his nose to the point of bleeding and wipes it everywhere then lies...says he can pick his nose at home because his mom does...ewwwww .and he is so out of control if he's not the center of attention I can just picture him at the wedding either hanging all over his Dad during the ceremony or first dance...sigh...I'm already stressing and its day 1 of a very very long week. HOw can I have a wedding with him..really?
Agree 100% with this.
Agree 100% with this. ^^^
Seems you have a really good idea of what you're getting yourself into. You've listed everything you can't stand about this kid & BM, you recognize that "now the hell starts", yet you're choosing to brush it all off to go all in...?
Think twice...
First of all I wouldn't.
First of all I wouldn't. Have a wedding that is. I know you're pregnant - something you'll come to rue but meanwhile why are you setting yourself up for such a life? What if BM dies or otherwise becomes unable to keep the kid?
Stop and think then cut your losses.
--------->I know you're
--------->I know you're pregnant - something you'll come to rue
Awe, that's not nice.
When my DH & I got engaged,
When my DH & I got engaged, BM raised hell (just like she did when we first moved in together). She got over it. She is still a pain in the ass but she knows she does not affect our lives. We do what we want, whether she likes it or not. With that being said, I wish I had listened to everyone who told me to RUN and NOT become a SM!
IF you decide to go ahead and marry the guy, I would either go to the courthouse like a few others said they did, or go somewhere else- DH and I went to Vegas. Alone. No drama. No skids. No BM bullshit. We had a great time and don't regret going away one bit! The last thing I wanted was a skid at my wedding.
Good luck to you!
my ss9 is autistic....he's
my ss9 is autistic....he's equivalent to about a 4 yr old in ability. i just got married. SKID spent the night before the wedding with hubby and i spent the night at our home with just my 2 kids. i let them sleep in bed with me too, we had a fun night. I knew dressing skid the day of the wedding would be a FUCKING NIGHTMARE and even dealing with him that morning with all my bridesmaids, etc. at the house would kill me. hubby knew too, so he took him. at the wedding he was fine......or i assume he was, i didn't interact with him ONCE the whole day i don't think WOOHOO!!!!....the grandparents were there and his cousins from hubby's brother and wife, so it was all good for me!
First of all, CONGRATS on
First of all, CONGRATS on your engagement!
I was in the same situation, as well - DH and I announced our engagement and the skids weren't too sure about it - but at least they didn't really raise hell about it! Like you, we debated back and forth about having them at the wedding - mostly because we didn't want them causing drama on OUR day, and BM isn't above telling them to ruin things for us. In the end, we had them there. Sure, they were their usual rude and obnoxious selves, but we didn't let it ruin the day for us. Anyway, my FIL wouldn't have let them ruin it - he's quite stern with them, having dealt with their mother LOL If anything, have someone there who will be ready to remove your skid from the situation and keep him busy so he doesn't ruin things for you.
Just don't let it ruin your day. I disagree with other posters saying to "get out of it while you can". Regardless of anything else, if you love your bf then the hell with anything else. Sure there will be hurdles to overcome, but if you're ready to take them on, then go for it! My DH had 3 young kids when we met, and yes there have been challenges, but life's all about challenges. If I had left from the start, then we wouldn't have had our 2 beautiful boys.
^^^Agree with this!!
^^^Agree with this!! Congrats! And it's a tough road but if he's the right man then it's worth it!
My SD acted up when DH and I got engaged as well. She overheard part of a conversation where DH and I had seen a wedding on TV where the step-parent made vows and promises to the skid and I said something like "you don't expect me to do that do you?" and DH was like "God no, that makes me gag. It's one day that's not about the kids, it's about the parents." and I said "I agree, I think skids should have a part in the wedding if the parents want but shouldn't have to be included in the vows or ceremony like they are getting married to the step-parent too." and from this, SD either misheard, misunderstood, or just plain lied and went running back to her mom saying that DH and I didn't want her to even be at our wedding.
Drama queen.
^^^^THIS - SD14 was pretty
^^^^THIS - SD14 was pretty much the same and yeah, she out and out LIES and claims it was a "misunderstanding". I call bullshit every single time.
You will regret it if you
You will regret it if you both choose not to have him there. BM didn't let SS come to mine and my husband's wedding and it about broke our hearts. Wanted them as ring bearers...
Anyway, you ought to support whatever your husband thinks about it. And how funny that your BM said he cannot propose until SHE says? How hilarious!
Congrats!!!! On both the
Congrats!!!! On both the pregnancy and the proposal! I know this may open a can of worms but I am very interested in knowing why some of these ladies got married.....My husband and I have one child together and one on the way and we are ha ing issues with the disciplinary actions regarding sd6. We had a couple HUGE fights lately about it and life is rough on those eow when she's here but I married him for MANY reasons and none of them were bc of his child.. So when I look at the big picture, yes I want to pull my hair out sometimes and I'm truly tired of it being an issue but I do have to take that issue at face value, we bump heads about his kid. Other than that we are a 'normal' married couple with normal good days and bad days so....... When thinking of marrying did you ladies see only the nightmarish kids or the reasons why you love the man and want to be with him. I'm just curious.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether u agree or disagree!
Love it! ALL kids are going
Love it! ALL kids are going to meet you with resistance but it is DEFINITELY more difficult with my sd6 but I have to take it with a grain of salt because my husband and I married eachother for eachother and once all the kids are grown and gone we still have eachother. One of those Debbie downers said I was stupid for marrying him knowing his bd was a terror but why would I completely base my marriage on whether I like his kid! U marry the man, everything else is just life! Some parts of life are shitty, and some is glorious bliss! We all gotta learn to cope. I came here to learn how to cope with being a stepmother.