Need advice on how to handle communication issues
BD won't communicate with me. He never would talk to me on phone so I would handle things through emailing him at work. It was going fine and then one day he told me to start emailing him at a new yahoo address. The responses suddenly changed tone, form, and word choice. I was married to the man for 11 years and I know he wasn't drafting the emails, but it was SM doing so. At first it was fine.. even though I knew it was her, I always wrote my emails as if I thought it was him. I remained factual and just dealt with whatever matter was at hand. Recently, there have been some court issues because BD doesn't want to pay child support. Her emails have now turned nasty, throwing accusations, name-calling, etc.
I then revealed that I knew BD wasn't the one composing the email and all future communication needed to be handled verbally. She responded confirming that she composed the emails on his behalf and I should think of her as his secretary and that they talked about everything and he didn't hide things from her. I explained that he was certainly free to discuss what he wanted with her but we were the parents and I wasn't bound to communicate with her or his secretary if he had one.
Now I'm a SM too and DH shares emails with me that go between him and his ex if it's something I need to be clued in about such as schedule change etc. He'll CC me, or he might ask my opinion before drafting a response, but I wouldn't dare take over the communications with his ex especially portraying my words to be his.
So now I've been texting him when something needs to be handled but I'm still receiving email responses clearly composed by her. DH says I should just continue responding to the emails and let them hang themselves, meaning when we end up in court it will most likely come out that he doesn't even have the balls to take care of things regarding his child himself.
What would you do? Clearly texting BD doesn't work, he won't answer unless I call from daughter's phone and I was asked not to email him at work anymore once he got the yahoo account.
Sweetie baby daddies new
Sweetie baby daddies new woman has nothing to do with this baby!!!! I would suggest emails back thru the work account unless he prefers a lawyers where he can pay the fees........ if your not married and dont make much money call legal aid for advice and learn the laws of your state. Througg legal aid or family services find out what he should be paying and she if you can make an agreement... legal aid might even make a contract for you guys. If not the state can help you get money out of him and he will need a lawyer... but if he is being an ass get everything in writing and keep excellent notes of everything that happens
His girlfriend is being nosy or jealousy ... try to put her mind to easy on the jealousy thing if its truly over ask her if she wants to go to lunch.... but no real talk of ex... ie no advice or no tons of funny stories... maybe why you broke up and about new guy! And life.... i have helped many many many friends thru this one to the point it a few friends i said.... all the $$$other in the world is not worth it dont put that SOBs name on the birth certificate ... good luck...
Am I confused? "Clearly
Am I confused? "Clearly texting BD doesn't work, he won't answer unless...".
Bio Daughter right - BD? HE won't answer? Which is it? Do you mean you text BD in hopes she'll pass it on to her father and he doesn't respond?
Bio Dad. It's been a long
Bio Dad. It's been a long while since I posted here and I may need to refresh my memory on correct terminology to use.
There really isn't much you
There really isn't much you can do about it. If he has given her control of the written communication, that is his choice. That said, have fun with it. You know it is her and you know she hates you. Let her be nasty, print the emails and when / if he takes you to court act like you had no idea it was her. How bad will it look to the court that he is cursing at you? Not good, that is for sure. Just keep your answers in a very professional / business like form. This drives McCrazy nuts. She gets pissy and my dh refuses to take the bait.
It's been a long while since
It's been a long while since I posted here, but I knew right where to come to get good advice. I'll just keep emailing as we have been and just let her dig his grave deeper when we get to court. It's actually a child support AND custody issue, so it probably REALLY is working in our advantage that she sends the nasty emails that say the same things both my son and daughter have said that they say about me at their house.
Thanks all!