A can of Whoop ASS?

Every christmas: 'So what are you guys getting me for christmas?' (to step kids)
"we are making you something"
"Oh cool, i'll make you something this year too"
"oh"

Every year! Haha, it cracks me up, the youngest is 12, we usually get a painted mug for Christmas, and I don't care, I just enjoy having them here. Is it just about giving presents? Maybe i'm soft.

I don't get a gift from SD anymore. I think the first year after DH and I were married, the man seriously gave SD (then 10) about $100 to buy presents for everyone she could think of (you know, BM, BM's husband, her half-sisters at BM's house, DH, me, her half-sister at our house, grandparents, etc.). SD spent nearly ALL of that money on BM and her half-sisters there and literally got me a cheap knick knack that cost $1 at the dollar store and got BD (then a baby) a $1 puzzle from the same store. Like a puzzle for ages 5 and up. DH thought it was "so sweet." Seriously?!

I'd give SD18 an etiquette book, as well as any book that told her how to "Get Over Yourself and Stop Treating People like Crap because It Makes You Feel Better About Yourself." Maybe I'll just write that book, a customized present, isn't it the thought that counts?

A nice big box of NOTHING!

For SD18, I would send her a gift certificate to get her tubes tied. Good for 5 years so, if she wanted to pop a few more out and ride on the government's coattails, she would be free to do so.

For SS17, I would like to get him counseling so he can see for himself how manipulative and greedy his own mother is. Not because I want him to hate his mother, I just want him to understand the PASing that his mother is doing is wrong and that is the real reason why SD18 doesn't talk to her dad anymore.

For skid 1 and his wife and family, I would honestly want to give them all good things that their hearts desire.

For skid 2 and the PUKEY PIG he is married to and their three BEASTS FROM HELL:

* a case of Lysol because they are FILTHY
* a series of MANDATORY money management and budgeting classes where a really BIG, MEAN guy picks them up and FORCES them to go to each and every class
* a MANDATORY membership to a gym -- again, where they are forced by some big, mean dude to go and work their fat asses off

But...since they already live in a house that dh paid for and drive a car that dh paid for and sit their fat, ugly asses on furniture that dh paid for, they will NEVER get another thing from me in this lifetime or the next!!

Same thing he is giving us - nothing. He was trying to con some money by saying he needed to get presents for us and his girlfriend. I just politely said - "Oh let's not do presents - we don't need anything." He's 24.

A one-way ticket to Siberia.

The best gift SDs could give me is not showing up!

Just what we are sending them.....NOTHING!

If I have anything to do with it SD will not get anything at all. Hmmmm, maybe a nice chunk of coal wouldn't be a bad idea though. There is a website called "thepayback.com" which has some really good prank gifts too!

The first thing that came to my mind was a dead rat in a paper bag .. . of course his head would be bashed open and blood would be oozing from it. Yes it's gross but so is SD, so it would be the perfect gift.

That reminds me . .it's almost time for her to make up another excuse to come over again. :sick:

I would give SD a one way ticket to hell. Her best present to me would be never having to see her again or hear her baby talk again at 27 years old.

After getting a Dollar Tree candleholder(not wrapped, just in the dollar tree box) while my cousin and best friend each got a large jar Yankee Candle(in front of everyone so they could all see)I decoded that Sd would get nothing but I relented. Last year my kids (adults who work full time and go to college)put a lot of time and money into gifts for her kids each got a bag of M&M's from the supermarket checkout and a trial size hand sanitizer(to be shared with their significant others)I am trult done. She and her DH are both professionals. It wasn't about the money, she could have had the kids draw a picture and frame it or take a pic of the kids and frame it. Her dad and I got a pic of the kids in a paper bag. Haven't heard from her since March until a couple of weeks ago, now it's almost daily, on DH's facebook. She is still getting NOTHING.

Every gift I've rec'd from skids has been the cheapest, last minute, 'close enough' to what I asked for, piece of crap. DH tries so hard every year to lay down the law to his kids and tell them, THIS is what YOU are getting her, and YOU, and YOU. and Don't eff it up this year like last year. EVERY YEAR, I open some piece of crap, dh is distracted opening the great stuff I got him, and doesn't see what they got me. we get into bed and talk about our gifts.

Last year he got hangers and something else I can't remember. FROM THREE ADULT KIDS with jobs. And from SD26 and her husband, I got lotion. nothing close to what I asked for, just a little sqeeze tube of lotion. HE WAS LIVID. I felt bad for the boys because honestly, they're just dumb boys who have no idea what a vanilla three wick candle is. Why wouldn't one candle with one wick (a yellow votive) and another candle with two wicks (walgreens brand) be 'good enough'?

I'll take two shock collars and a lump of coal please. Oh and can we just throw it at them as they slump together in the backseat of my car?
Every year I've busted my ass to make sure I get something Bm will HATE, hahaha, this year Mega packs of playdoh, and paint sets! I'm less worried about what they want and more about what will make the biggest mess for Jabba to clean up! Since she tells them to mess my place up, its only fair I give them the tools to return the favor. Merry Christmas Jabba!! You have fun with the little demon spawn you've created

My boyfriend's sons know I'm an avid reader, so the oldest son one year got me books he likes - they were all science fiction novels. He knows I don't like science fiction. We've discussed it at length. Yet he wanted to convince me about how great these books were by giving them as gifts. I ended up leaving them at by boyfriend's home and they disappeared. I assume the son took them back.

Any other books would have been welcomed but giving me something he knew I didn't like?

Oldhag, you've given ME ideas! Damn, now I gotta go shopping! Lmao!
Last year it was Bop-it and roller skates. The Bop-it you have to "yell in" to make it work. Rotflmao! And the spawn are never allowed to open said gifts completely, until safely back at Bm's!
Where do you GET a plastic Trumpet??

Good one! I haven't dreamed of that one yet until now!
Let's add sans clothes!

A key chain from SD who makes over 135k per year (Narcissist)

Forced therapy sessions weekly if they want any contact with us!

A long ass itemized bill.