My Letter to MY SD
So after a few days of thinking about my talk with SD14 I decided to write her a letter. I am much better at this; I hate confrontation and I tend to speak or come across like a B* (hmmmm wonder why) anyway; I left it on her pillow for her when she came home from her weekly few hours with her mother.
I won't right word for word - I just basically told her:
that at first I kept quiet so she could settle in and find her place in our home. And that I thought she took this as a "free" pass with me. I told her that this will be no more!! I also know she is unhappy here; but this in NOT a bad house and there is NO place else for her to go. So she can have a horrilbe life for the next four years or so or she can join the family - this is up to her. I told her that I have been easier on her then my own children and this stops now! I told her that she has until Friday for her room to be cleaned and inspected by ME or I will do it myself on Friday! (I give this choice to my other children) If you don't want me snooping and organizing and going through your stuff - Just do it. Dad is on my side and what I say goes - PERIOD.
When I got up this morning she totally avoided me!! LOL Not sure what she is thinking. In my world I would like to think she realizes what a B* she has been and she fells like a jerk!? Ya right.........
This past Monday and Tuesday
This past Monday and Tuesday morning FH and I had a big blow out about his SD15. I was ready to pack my stuff in my truck and LEAVE! I am tired of her bitchiness towards me. I can't stand the fact that she talks to me with a tone and does not shut up and keeps on ranting and raving. It is her f n hormones that I can't stand. FH does NOT get it. He is all about "I don't understand why you two can't get along" Uhm, if SD15 continously talked to you the way she talks to me well then maybe you would understand.
I considered writing her a letter but I chose to talk to her face to face. I told her that I was not going to put up with her running her mouth. If she wanting to continue being that way towards me she would have to get used to me ignoring her and not wanting to do anything for her. I told her that I have a choice to not want to do anything for her because after all she really isn't my kid/responsibility. I told her The reason that I am always on her is because she gives me a reason to always be on her. On Monday I found a spoon in her trash can. They are not allowed to be eating in their rooms. When I asked SD15 why she threw it away she used a bs excuse.....I think it belong to my BM. WTF! SD15 hasn't seen her BM in over 5 years and she has cleaned her room thousands of times since then. Of course I had to show her that No that spoon belonged to us by comparing the handles of the forks to the spoon.
She was already grounded over lying this past weekend and she couldn't control her tone and attitude towards me. I told her that when I ask her a question that I shouldn't even be asking her it is NOT in her best interest to be running her mouth and giving me an attitude especially when she is already grounded.
During our talk I told her that SHE is the only reason as to why she is ALWAYS getting in trouble. If she behaved differently and had better grades and a much better attitude then maybe she would have a much better life at home.
Let's see how long she can watch herself. I know teenagers are moody and talk to their parents with nasty tones and I need to learn how to let that slide off my back but when SD15 is continously like that towards me it is very hard to like her right now. What makes me more mad is that I know if she lived with her BM and treated her that way, her BM would have shipped her off a long time ago to my FH. When SD15 was 10 and would visit her BM they got into it one day BM brought her back to FH and called her a few names. Wow.....
I tend to be bi* when
I tend to be bi* when confronting someone face to face and I didn't want to scare her......and when she is confronted ALL she does is cry. Good for you for being able to talk face to face.
when I came home I found a letter from her....Saying that she was sorry and she now knows she has been treating me like crap. She said that she wants a mother daughter relationship with me because I have been there for her for 13 YEARS. She also admitted to taking her anger out on the wrong people......
I was shocked.......I do still have my eyes wide open but it was nice to hear