need some ideas..
Last night my BF called his ex to talk with FSS7, I overheard them about plans for the summer. He was telling her that he wants to take FSS7 whenever his schedule allows and plans to take time off of work to spend with him. Currently we have him EOW which is hard enough being that BF is a guily daddy and FSS7 runs the house when he is here. BF also told her that FSS has rules at our house...bedtime, has to eat what we make for dinner, etc and if he is telling her anything else it is just b/c he has an active imagination like any 7 year old and it's not a free for all here, that he just likes our house better! I wanted to scream, b/c none of that is true and FSS7 even told his friend last weekend that he controls his dad and "daddy will do whatever I tell him" no wonder he wants to be here! I made a point to bring up the fact that we hadn't talked about summer plans yet and asked him what he was thinking, to which he repeated what he told his ex and that he wants FSS7 every weekend and that is just part of being a parent! I understand them needing to spend time together and support that, but when FSS7 is here he sits and plays video games...I have come up with numerous activities over the past two years for us to do as a family, but he is uninterested regardless of how hard we try to make it fun, as a result BF lets him play video games and we sit home. I do not want this to be my summer but am not sure how approach the fact that I don't want to waste the entire summer sitting at home b/c that's all FSS7 will do.
That's a great idea and
That's a great idea and something that I will talk to BF about! Since FSS7 will not like the idea of his father going somewhere without him, maybe he will realize that he is missing out on a lot of fun stuff! Hopefully BF will be open to the idea
I don't understand why kids
I don't understand why kids have a choice. When my Ex and I were going to Grandma's, we simply TOLD SD14 that we were going. We didn't ask. If she wanted to sit in a corner and pout, go to it. When we were going to Houston for the weekend and were going to a few Astros games, we TOLD her. She was welcomed to sit in her seat and whine. We TRIED to do things she wanted to do, and we TRIED to make things fun, and generally she came around. A few times she whined and that was her loss. We damned sure didn't plan OUR LIVES around keeping our SD from pouting though.
I don't believe in planning
I don't believe in planning my life around a child either and was raised to behave when going somewhere with my parents, but since he is not my child I can suggest things but can't dictate how BF chooses to raise his child. I think many times BF doesn't want to deal with FSS7 wining or misbehaving so it is easier to just do activities that he wants. Hopefully he will end up coming around when he sees that we plan to have fun with or without him participating.
I like the idea of taking the
I like the idea of taking the controllers away so that he is forced to participate in other activities
thanks!!
BF in my situation is boyfriend which is where the control comes from....it's his son
Does your BF re-enfource your
Does your BF re-enfource your rules? Mine is getting a bit better but it is still an uphill battle most of the time. What drives me nuts is that he told BM that FSS7 has/follows all of the rules that I have tried to put in place, but that is a load of crap! I wish it was true but he was only saying it to make himself look like he doesn't give in to everything which is why FSS7 would rather be with him.
Your right! It is just
Your right! It is just frusterating sometimes when I tell FSS7 something only to have BF come in and let him do the exact opposite! Oh well I guess if I keep standing up for myself (and my house!!) it will sink in eventually or FSS7 will want to stay at BM's house because it will be more fun over there }:)
LOL!! It's funny because his
LOL!! It's funny because his son used to be better, but ever since bf moved in seems like his son is worse. They have been here almost a year now, I thought that would be enough for him to respect the rules or at least accept them! Maybe with him being over more this summer he will finally realize that things can't always be fun and games! Thanks for the advice
BF actually doesn't mind when
BF actually doesn't mind when I make rules or take charge and be the bad guy....I think it is easier for him because then he doesn't have to do it. The only problem is that so far he doesn't back up the rules or decisions that I make. That is something that we are working on! I just feel like either I have to nag both of them the entire time FSS7 is around or leave....guess I just have to stand my ground to show them that I deserve much more respect than I am getting! Good idea's about trying to get him to do "boring" stuff at least it will open his eyes to different things to do!