Update on my life
My ex and I sat down to mediation and redid our child support agreement in writing. It's basically what I was paying before. My attorney looked over the numbers and recommended this over court and after it was done, he told me I saved money. At least that part is settled. My wife is pissed but what are you going to do? I wasn't going to go aganist my lawyer, pay for him to represent me and then lose anyway. Then my wife would be mad at the court fees i paid.
My wife... she has still not paid her bills so my attorney drew up seperation papers and recommended i pay last month and this months bills and then nothing else. That way she can't accuse me of screwing her. So i did and she was served last week. No surprise but im back on the couch. We had therapy last week where she suggested we get divorced and i told her i would file. I've had enough of everyone and I'm done. She didn't want me to file and wanted to go back to how things were before. When i asked for clarification, she wants me to pay her bills again and treat her like I was before. I told her i see her different now and i dont think i can. So she told me then i need to divorcee her. I filed for divorce yesterday. When i told her i filed she tried to throw me out and attacked me. My son called the police and my dd filmed her. She was arrested and I had the police take her kids with them so that I can't be accused of harming them. I'm filing for a restraining order this morning and with my dds video I should get one and she should not be allowed to live here.
My ex wife's mom is in the hospital in Tx so my kids are with me this week while she is out there helping. My dd told her what happened and she is blowing up my phone calling me trash and telling me she won't let our kids grow up like this. She said she is filing for full custody when she gets back. She wants me to have supervised visitation until I can get my life under control and not have violence in front of my kids. I can't say I blame her right now.
This has been the worst week of my life.
- Gunner's blog
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Comments
at least you took that tiny
at least you took that tiny step of bettering your life Gunner.... be proud of yourself and simply tell the Ex it will not happen again cause you are divorcing this woman.
I told her that but she said
I told her that but she said she was still going to file. My mens group said to expect her to file so that she can get more child support and have more control of our kids.
Let her file and show the
Let her file and show the judge everything that happened.
That after filing for divorce the woman attacked you. You filed a restraining order.
You can't control everything that happens and you did what you should to protect your children. You lived with this woman for however long and this is the first incident. Work with you lawyer you should be fine.
she can file, no problem it's
she can file, no problem it's not to say it will be granted, I don't think a judge will after only one incident take the kids away from you...
Just relax and go on with your new life, maybe it will blow over.
I'm sorry that it has come to
I'm sorry that it has come to this but at least now you know that your wife was just using you and you are putting an end to it.
I hope it all works out with your kids. Now that you are getting divorced, your ex won't have a valid reason for full custody or supervised visitation, since the violent person will be out of your life and out of your kids' lives. You took all of the correct and necessary steps.
Chance are your ex is afraid
Chance are your ex is afraid you will change your mind. Plenty of couples call it quits then have a change of heart latter. Only to repeat the cycle again and again.
Hopefully, your ex will sit tight and wait to see how things play out before taking action.
Good luck
The mother of your kids will
The mother of your kids will settle down. You took the steps to remove the troublemaker and her kids) and followed up with a restraining order stopping her from returning while the divorce process occurs.
At no time were the children themselves in danger and there is nothing in your history (?) to document any other incidents. No parent wants their child exposed to domestic violence in their homes. Her reaction is a normal mother reaction. But what she says and what her with her lawyer actually does when she returns and life is back to normal may not be as drastic as she now is proclaiming. Your children are old enough to speak for themselves and now that your wife and her kids are gone your kids have to reason to not want to continue to live part time with their father.
*shrugs* Had you attacked your wife you'd face a different tune, but you were the victim. Your children witnessed and captured the violence thrown upon you. They will be the voice in your favor unless, of course, they think you're a rotten Dad and they want to be done with you. Perhaps a wake-up call to select your future women more carefully and take time to focus on you and your children for now.
I think you did good by
I think you did good by calling the police but I'm a little concerned you had the police take her kids. What did they do with them? Are they in her custody now or in temporary foster homes? You just put her kids in the middle of this and they didn't deserve that. I'm concerned this will blow back on you.
They are not his kids to
They are not his kids to keep. Police will find a extended family member willing and these kids do have a father. At worse they'll sit a while in the station with a social services worker until someone arrives to collect them.
Arrangements will have to be made for neutral party to come collect a bag for each kid (or for Gunner to drop one off at neutral place).
Gunner didn't put his skids in the middle. Their mother left them in this situation. Mom's likely already been bailed out and sheltering herself with friends or family. Don't blame Gunner for his wife going bat sh*t crazy and losing it to the point of physical violence. She should have thought about how her actions would affect her children prior to her temper tantrum.
Gunner assured her kids would be safe, he handed them to the police. It would have played on with two rebelling angry upset skids if he had allowed them to stay in his home. He ended the chance for additional displays of emotional and removed himself and his children from any responsibility...as he should have.
Not to mention he did whats
Not to mention he did whats best for him and his children's safety. As he said he did it so there would not be future accusations that he did anything harmful to the children.
She's already shown she's willing to cause bodily harm to him. Is it really that large of a step for her to lie and say he hurt the kids? No and he had no relationship to the children. Without mom there he did the best thing for all parties invovled.
Honestly since step parents have next to no legal rights for step children I wouldn't be surprised if it's standard procedure to take the non related children into protective custody.
Also Gunner your damn lucky that your child filmed this. Keep it as a reminder of what can happen. It's not unheard of for the wrong person to be blamed in an assault. Many men have been forced to leave their home because "women can't abuse a man."
CUTTER ***ding ding ding
CUTTER ***ding ding ding ^^^cutter
Here, Mr. Police man, my kids just watched and videoed my x assaulting me but NOW that its over and you are here, I want you to take my kids away. I'll pick em' up later, K? Just let me know where,,,K?
RIGHTTTTTT.
What are you talking
What are you talking about???
Gunner had the cops take the SKs away, not his bios.
The point is WHY, why and
The point is WHY, why and where did the kids go with the cops...Likely the kids were traumatized and he just said "oh take them away"...WTH
More than likely they called
More than likely they called a family member to pick her kids up from the police station.
Having the kids removed was a smart move.
Knowing what I do know, Lets
Knowing what I do know, Lets say Gunner is always on the up and up. (eyeball roll)
He said Bio mom is arrested...Gunner does not have such power to say "Oh take them with you", HE is not custodial...see what I mean.
When kids are present during an arrest CPS is called, THEY take over...THEY Call the shots, not gunner. Bio mom will be interviewed by cps, asked who daddy is...she will have to cough that up but we all know 'baby daddy not around, right' so then they ask who IS available to take the kids...IF no one they are processed into foster care. Heck they may have been processed if guardian could not be there within an hour or two of charges.
I hope this clears things UP Disney.
Having the kids removed was a
Having the kids removed was a smart move.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Totally agree.
Man that went to heck in a
Man that went to heck in a hand basket quickly.
Hopefully your ex settles down and realized how good she has it and that you have taken steps to prevent this from happening.
I feel sorriest for your wife's kids...holy cow what a nightmare.
Yup, Gunner and his kids will
Yup, Gunner and his kids will be free of his wife soon. Unfortunately,his SKs are stuck are with her.
Hugs Gunner. It will get
Hugs Gunner. It will get better. It will
Gunner, This is a tense time
Gunner, This is a tense time for both you, AND your ex-wife.
She is stressed with her own issues and hearing about yours she probably just lashed out. When cooler heads prevail; I am sure she will see that you are getting rid of the harmful influence in your life and are doing the best things possible for you and your children.
You have always had your children's best interests at heart. I am sure she will see that.
Hugs.
Or if she kept her hands to
Or if she kept her hands to herself. Domestic abuse is wrong no matter the reason why.
I'm sorry this is going on.
I'm sorry this is going on. This stuff is HARD to get through. Seems like you're getting it from all sides. Sure, I can understand your ex wife's perspective and wanting to keep her kids out of this mess, but I am also sad that it is another thing you have to worry about on top of being abused by your current spouse.
Just hang in there. Remember to do little things that replenish your spirit. This eats away at anyone who goes through it.
I think seeing a good
I think seeing a good therapist would help you. She could help and give you tools to deal with the worst week of your life.
Gunner, I'm sorry to hear
Gunner,
I'm sorry to hear things went to shit with a capital S on you so quickly. One piece of advice? Maybe a little individual counseling (if you aren't already). What you have described is domestic violence, a lot of times male DV victims don't avail themselves of help that is out there because society can be weird that way.
Gunner I'm sorry to hear this
Gunner I'm sorry to hear this but I'm glad you're getting out. Take some time to enjoy yourself and your kids without complication.
Don't worry about ex wife, you did the best you could in a crappy situation. Any judge will see that.
Hugs to you. So very sorry.
Hugs to you. So very sorry.
You settled things with your
You settled things with your ex and now she wants to start up a whole new war? Good luck with your life.