I went to the baby shower...not great
The baby shower was not what I had hoped for.In true form my SD's mother had to be the center of attention. She pretty much abandoned these kids years ago but she takes every opportunity to "play mommy" for the crowd. She nearly got into a fight with her own sister, criticized my fathers gift because he bought "top of the line" bottles, diapers and baby wipes. She also waited until I was within earshot to comment that she was the only grandmother there. I have a long fuse and it takes a lot to make me lose my temper. I managed to remain civil for my SD's sake, had it not been for her my Italian temper would have made an appearance. My relationship with my husband is uncertain at best. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on. One day he tells me he's not in love with me anymore and a few days later he's asking me where I want to go for the family vacation. I'm confused, scared, angry, and frustrated. I don't know where to turn. I have no one to lean on, my entire world is spinning out of control.
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Comments
Who cares what your dh feels
Who cares what your dh feels about you. The only valid question now is how do you feel about him? Don't wait for him to decide your fate. You decide your fate.
What great advice. Well said.
What great advice. Well said.
If he's jerking you around,
If he's jerking you around, make him stop by showing him the door and telling him if he's not committed, to get out. "I don't love you/want to be married to you" is the oldest control line in the book. You have to call their bluff or it will never stop. It takes a lot of courage and a willingness to end the relationship to do it, but it is extremely effective.
You need to tell him to hit
You need to tell him to hit the road and now. Your relationship is likely to end and you need to do it with some dignity. If he finds out he made a mistake lots of counseling for him to earn his way back, otherwise forge a new life without him.
You need to tell him to hit
You need to tell him to hit the road and now. Your relationship is likely to end and you need to do it with some dignity. If he finds out he made a mistake lots of counseling for him to earn his way back, otherwise forge a new life without him.
Good job for staying calm at
Good job for staying calm at the shower, not sure I could have (or that I would have gone in the first place).
You and your husband need to talk, perhaps with the help of a trained therapist. You both individually need to decide if you want to stay in the relationship and do what it takes to get to a good place together. If you both commit to doing that then you will find that love is not everything in a relationship and that love does not necessarily have to be lost forever if you both commit to finding each other again and working out how to make it work with the people that you two now are. If one of you is not prepared to do this then you two can start to work out your separation and divorce and move in to the next exciting phase in your lives.
I'm sorry you are having to
I'm sorry you are having to go through this, but it may help if you have clarification. Is your H saying that he is not in love with or is he saying that he does not love you because there is a difference. sometimes in marriage we are with that person so long that we realize that the other person is like that old favorite sweater. your not in love but you still love it very much. don't give up
When BM said she 's the only
When BM said she 's the only Grandmother - why did you not simply say.... Yes we know cause SD is not my child.. and only Grans babysit and buy gifts }:) }:)
Then regarding your husband and his hot and warm sayings, Hon make up your mind and live your life, either DH comes running following you or he finds some one else, as hard as it might be only you can make the decision.... once a man tells you he does not love you any more... then there's nothing left, not even if he does it in his sleep, being drunk or being angry, cause then the truth comes out
I wouldn't care if the stupid
I wouldn't care if the stupid bm said that. No problem she can be the only GM, let's you off the hook. Actually I wouldn't have gone to that dinner/show to begin with.
You have a much bigger problem. Your husband... so pay attention. Apparently he's not someone you can trust to be there for the long haul. My first husband would threaten me with divorce if I didn't do this or that. I planned to divorce him but waited until I had all my ducks (financially) in a row. Keep a good f/t job and sock money away. Like someone said, don't allow him to decide your fate.