What is your story, Cecilia? Feel free to vent and cry and express your feelings. I am sorry this is happening to you, and I know that it is a shock, but was there something that precipitated it?

Feel free to share what you wish.

I'm so sorry Cecilia. Take him for everything you can get. If you put money and unpaid time into his kids and his career, you're entitled to some of that. Drag it out...get it as much as you can. Don't let your sadness and emotions get in the way of what you're entitled to.

I am so sorry Cecilia. Giant hug to you girl. Cry, yell, come here and rant...do whatever you need to do.

Then, put your war bonnet on and get the best damn divorce lawyer you can. Don't settle for any crumbs your DH offers to throw your way. It is fine to be sad and mourn your loss. But then it is time to get pissed and lawyer up!

I would not doubt there is more to it than you know, if this is some sudden announcement. You may wish to back track a bit and see if you can figure out the back story; may help you financially as needed. If I suspected something smelling rotten, I would put a detective on his fishy tail. I know a lot of woman who walked away financially set when ol faithful, was not faithful...LOL...was well worth the money in the end, for them..... I actually caught an ex husband with a woman by dressing up in a wig and pretending to deliver flowers to an apartment complex.... It worked like a charm and it was soooo validating; never looked back....set all my emotions free; still laugh about it today.

Cecilia.... you're breaking my heart....

Hon, keep your head high, look him in the eye and say, fine if you do not love me anymore, please pack your stuff and leave, let's see how quickly we can settle this divorce, I will find a lawyer and you should do the same.

Do not worry about moving out yourself, he wants to end it he can leave, even if it's his home. Then get a ball busting bulldog lawyer, claim what you can/have to, and do not fall for his bullshit again. Disengage from him immediately and start the process, work it in that he pays for your lawyer as well, half of the house if it's not in your name only, half of his life insurance, half of his pension, cash payment out, 1000 per year for services rendered and not being paid for.....

nail his ballsack to the back of your door and use it to shine your shoes in the morning.

(((HUGS))) Sorry... as hard as it is, maybe think of this as a fresh start to a better life.

I am so unbelievably sorry Hun. Try to keep your chin up, put you first and stick close to your loved ones (mom, dad, siblings). I hope everything works out for the best--this is heartbreaking. WE are always here for you if you need to vent, scream, curse, yell and cry.

Hugs to you lady!

That's terrible, Cecilia. Lawyer up and stay strong. {{hugs}}

@Cecilia, when your DH said, "I'm not in love with you anymore," that was a dead giveaway that he is having an affair. He would not say he was not in love with you unless he were in love with someone else. He is mentally comparing you to this OW. He is "in the fog" and in his mind has deleted any affectionate feelings he might have had for you, mentally rewriting history.
If you can, hire a private detective to gather evidence, or learn how to snoop. You are not "invading his privacy' - he is disrespecting you by engaging in a secret second life. Secrets are poison to a marriage. You need something concrete that will convince a jury, so to speak. When you have the evidence, confront him. "I know you have been having a relationship with another woman. I am not even going to ask because I have evidence, so do not bother denying it. Your actions have hurt me deeply and threatened our marriage. If you are serious about repairing our relationship, you need to come clean with me and have no contact with this person ever again." Do not accept excuses or blame for his actions. If reconciliation is your goal,expose the affair to your parents and his, both sets of siblings, friends, older kids, anyone significant. Enlist the help of clergy, in-laws and family of origin to rescue your marriage. "My husband chose to have an affair with another woman, and I am asking you to help my husband and me save our marriage." Exposure shine the harsh light of day on affair and hastens its inevitable death. The fantasy is taken away, as it should be. The marriage is not always saved, but it is better than lingering in limbo for years.
For no more than three weeks, be your sweetest self to him- no angry outbursts, demands, or disrespectful judgments. It is okay to say, "I feel ___ when you do such-and-such" and "I wish you would stop ___." "That makes me sad" etc. Then lower the boom. Retain a lawyer and prepare for separation. If DH will not agree to your terms, lower the boom. File for legal separation and have him move out, or you live elsewhere if you do not hold the title or lease on the home. Write him a letter explaining that you cannot continue living with a man who continues to engage in an adulterous affair. Tell him that there will be no contact between you two, and any necessary communication will be relayed by a go-between of your choosing. If he wants to reconcile, he will have to give up all contact with his mistress PERMANENTLY (an affair must be dealt with like a drug addiction) and adhere to a program of recovery.
Naturally, Cecilia, if you do not wish to reconcile with DH, you are entirely within your rights, and will receive no condemnation from me whatever path you choose.