Why do I have to be an optimistic pinhead??

I had a sh!t weekend. Spent most of it wishing I could drink wine or martinis (Concussion says 'NO!') and crying. Why? Because I'm a stupid optimist. It's been 6.5 years since I've been around the skids. I cannot have children. I went into this with rose-colored glasses that were as thick as Coke bottles. Yes, the skids are COD. Yes, their mother is a Ho. But DH is stable, consistent, hard-working, loving, and steadfast. I got to skip teething and croup and 2am feedings and poopie diapers and terrible twos... it was gonna be GREAT!! I was Betty Crocker and Suzie Homemaker rolled into one. Every skid weekend there was freshly baked cake or brownies from scratch or cookies still warm from the oven. The house was always clean (you could've eaten of my HANDSCRUBBED kitchen floor!), you could sit in the living room (before me, the couch, loveseat, chairs, and tables were all covered with stuff and there was barely enough room to walk through it), the floor of the skids' room was no longer covered with toys (all neatly put away in the closet) and they had brand new mattresses, pillows, and bedding. Dinners were homemade and delicious/nutritious. I made them Easter Baskets and Halloween Baskets. I spent HOURS making a Christmas buffet and miniature 2-bite pies. I spent more hours shopping for interesting, fun little gifts that were personal for each skid. The skids would have an adult female in their lives who cared, who would listen, who would do fun things with them, who would help them with homework or show interest in their hobbies. We could do family things together, take vacations and show them new things. When we had the problems with PigPen, *I* went to MY THERAPIST to find out what WE could do to help and relayed the info to DH. WRONG!!! I was an interloper. Daddeeeee wasn't supposed to find someone new. Even though BioHo went through 22 men in the space of 24 months, Daddeeeee was supposed to stay SINGLE. Even if I sat quietly in a corner of the living room reading a book or doing a jigsaw puzzle or the never-used coffee table and never spoke a word except 'Hello', I was IN THE WAY. I was taking attention away from the skids by merely BEING. Hey, those cookies and cakes and brownies were AWESOME!!! (BioHo only buys premade stuff.) But it didn't matter that I'd spent hours mixing, baking, cleaning up. The homemade meals? Eeeeeeeewwwww!!! Frozen lasagna is better than homemade!! McDonald's is better than meatloaf (of which DH can never get enough, it tastes so good to him). Baked or mashed potatoes are GROOOOOOSSSSS!!! Where're the tater tots or French fries?! We're all going to do something fun? Yeah, it's really fun to be the proverbial fifth wheel because the skids are flanking/walking right behind Daddeeee and Stepmonster is walking 10 paces behind. It's a load of laughs when the skids are DRAGGING Daddeeeee to see something and Stepmonster turns around and everyone is gone. It's a barrel of laughs when we go out to eat and the skids choose a table for 4 - and there are 5 of us. This past weekend was a skid weekend, and the second-to-last skid weekend before PrincASS joins the Army. SD23 (DH's stepdaughter) and her hubby invited DH and the skids to go with them to open up the hubby's family's cabin. Was I invited? Of course not. I come home to DH throwing pop cans into a cooler just before he and PrincAss and PigPen head out for the weekend. Yep. That's how I found out. They left 3 minutes after I got home. I sat there stunned for a few minutes. Then the tears flowed. And flowed. And FLOWED. AND FLOWED. I cried myself into a puffy-eyed, stopped-up nose, headachey, pathetic blob of self-pity. I bawled all over poor Mr. P (good thing he had a grooming appointment the next day). Good thing he loves spooning with his Mommy. I woke up Saturday feeling hungover, took Mr. P to the groomer, and went to my old house to continue the mucking out. Picked up Mr. P, went home, and cried. Took a nap, woke up with a pounding headache, crawled into the recliner with a mug of hot peppermint tea and a blanket and cried. DH called. I cried. He asked me what was wrong. I said that after all this time, I finally get it. It doesn't matter what I do, how hard I try, how nice/thoughtful/GOOD I am, we will never be a family. All my dreams of being part of a family, an adult with kids at Christmas and family vacations and reminiscing years down the road will never happen. I am simply an interloper. I am in the way. If I so much as cough and DH looks at me, I'm taking attention away from the skids. They will always resent me simply because I exist. DH kept assuring me that it wasn't true, blah blah blah. I don't remember most of what he said - only that he was sweet and gentle and nice and that I felt like an abysmal failure in the world of stepparenting. We got off the phone. I cried. My darling Mr. P came over, looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes, and put his head on my lap. I cried harder. I even felt like a failure as HIS Mom. When DH and the skids returned on Sunday, I was at the store. I came home after DH left to take them back. When he got home, he was very sweet and loving and I still felt like a miserable cow. A couple of hours later, SD23 texts me. Why? Because DH didn't answer his phone. She wanted to know "Can you make sure that he calls me and lets me know that you made it home". Huh?? I texted back "We're both home". She replies, "Will you tell him that I've called him". I texted, "He's sleeping. Do I need to wake him?". No response. Dh woke up about 20 minutes later and I told him SD23 called. I mean, what the F!CK?? I tell her he's home and that's not good enough? She called and it will show up on his phone but I need to tell him?? I guess the man is incapable of looking at his damn phone and seeing that he missed a call. Apparently, the skids don't understand that DH doesn't keep his cell phone stuck up in his arse like they do so SD23 has to text me on my paying-by-the-minute-and-text facking cheapo trac phone to make sure that Step Daddeeeee is safe because obviously the StepMonster is too facking stupid and unreliable. I was upset. I was angry. I went to bed (DH stays up until 5:30-6) and cried myself to sleep. Will I ever bloody well learn???

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Clever, he planned to tell me

Clever, he planned to tell me when I got home because of my per-minute-cell phone. I was late because I was working on something for my boss. He did tell me he was sorry but he didn't want to waste my minutes (he tried calling my work, but I wasn't at my desk). I am 99% absent for skid weekends anyway.

NO way in hell I'm moving back to that other house. I hate it and want to get rid of it. It's a nightmare.

Clever, he left a message on

Clever, he left a message on my work voicemail. I have email, but we don't have internet at home.

Yes, I expected him to be there at night. However, I am not always there. Sometimes Mr. P and I stay at my Dad's house (I take care of it for him as he's a Florida snowbird).

Yes, I feel singled out for exclusion, but, in part, it is my own doing as I am rarely around on skid weekends.

How can you help? Crikey. I'm broke. I'm living Murphy's Law of "Anything that can go wrong WILL". I have my second concussion in less than 6 months. Illnesses, accidents, Mr. P's cancer and treatment, some good friends with cancer... I feel like I'm in quicksand.

Not sure how to reply to your

Not sure how to reply to your original post but thank you for sharing! What a heart breaking "StepMom Life-in-Review." I can relate so much to how you feel, as I too began this journey trying to be the Ultimate SM. Fortunately for me DH is growing/learning/adapting and we present a united front, but it took him a few years to actually see the BM-style manipulations after years of BM & SS17 using & abusing his loyalty & love for SS17 with their b.s. methods of manipulation & control. Had DH not opened his eyes & started correcting the behaviors & catching on to the current manipulaions at the start (instead of after-the-fact like had previously been the norm), I'd probably be gone by now. I can relate to the "no matter how many good, kind & generous things I did" still not changing the disrespect or standard total slob M.O... or even being appreciated for providing EVERYTHING while that manipulative bag of BM just emotionally abused & physially neglected SS17 all his life until DD finally got him away frm BM (who has noooooo problem lying in court!) 5 years ago.

So thank you for posting. I appreciate this website very much.

Oh Aniki! I am sorry you had

Oh Aniki!

I am sorry you had a hard weekend. It was about 6.5 years ago I walked into this life with my rose colored glasses, too...

I am not sure if I can have children and I, too, went crazy trying to be perfect for the skids. It is so difficult to come to terms with feeling like the outsider after all of the effort put in. Tears, anger, resentment. I have felt it all.

I am glad you had your sweet Mr. P to cuddle with. I've had so many nights of crying and loneliness that my dogs helped me through.

You are a good, worthy, loving person.

Thank you, AJanie. If I

Thank you, AJanie. If I didn't have Mr. P, I probably would have stayed in bed. At least he made me laugh with his silliness and be happy with his lovies.

That is exactly it, advice.

If I came home and found my

If I came home and found my DH getting ready to take off for the weekend for fun with zero advance notice.. without me? Well, let's just say what that 10 yo did at the house would pale in comparison to what he would come "home" too. I know that couples don't have to be joined at the hip...but common decency would have have him coordinating plans like this with you.

I would have cried too... I also wouldn't have spoken a word to him yet.

ESMOD, he tried calling me at

ESMOD, he tried calling me at work, but I wasn't at my desk. I got home 2+ hours later than I usually do and my cell phone was turned off. The plans were not made until SD23 called him at 3pm - I am usually home by 2:30pm but didn't get home 'til almost 5pm.

I understand.. that's

I understand.. that's unfortunate. It sucks he wasn't able to give you some kind of advance notice.

He tried, but I didn't even

He tried, but I didn't even look at my work phone to see that I had a voicemail.

LadyFace, it is typical of

LadyFace, it is typical of SD23 to do this kind of thing - call at the 11th hour to suggest something. DH smokes. Her youngest has immunity problems and cannot be in a house full of cigarette smoke. So on skid weekends, she will call DH and ask if he and the boys want to come over. As in, get in the car NOW. Because DH so rarely see the stepgrandkids, he goes. He is much better at being spontaneous. My anxiety usually keeps me from being spontaneous. I have to plan things in advance to adjust to actually GOING and DOING.

I spent the whole weekend crying because I realized that my "dream" of being any kind of family to the skids is exactly that. A dream. I no longer believe that it will happen and it ripped me up inside.

StepAside, SD and her husband

StepAside, SD and her husband are fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants people. Even though they have 2 kids. Apparently, SD's FIL and MIL were unable to go open the cabin this weekend because MIL is sick, so SD's DH asked SD if she wanted to do it and that's what they planned. SD actually called DH when they were halfway to the cabin to see if he and the boys wanted to come, too.

No, I do not think it's odd. DH has a friend with a farm. He and the boys go down there for a "working weekend" of "male bonding". DH will come home Friday morning when he gets off of work saying that his friend asked if they wanted to come down - meaning the friend asked just a few hours ago. A lot of what they do is dependent on the weather. I don't know anyone who digs holes and puts in fence posts and a fence when it's pouring rain!

My DH is much more spontaneous than I. Especially when it comes to doing things with the boys and because this was PrincASS's second-to-last weekend before he enlists.

Thank you, Llilac. Mr. P and

Thank you, Llilac. Mr. P and I have an amazing connection - possibly due to several years where it was just the 2 of us. You can tell me I'm whackadoodle, but I sometimes think we have a psychic bond of sorts. I can look at him and THINK something and he responds to my thought. It is absolutely uncanny. I love him dearly.

My DH knows I purposely make myself scarce on skid weekends. The skids are there to spend time with HIM. I honestly have no problem with him going away for weekends with the boys. What upset me was I finally, after all these years, realized my dream of blending into a family with the skids is not going to happen.

Oh, honey, I'm 52 years old. This is my second go-around with steps (my first stepson is now 36, married, with a 5yo son and we still keep in touch). I couldn't afford neither the surgery to fix my plumbing nor the fees for adoption. So.. I am committed to adopting the furry, four-legged orphans of the world.

Brick, I have NO desire to be

Brick, I have NO desire to be around PigPen or PrincASS (or SD23, for that matter) for 48 hours. I make myself scarce on skid weekends and DH knows that. I am gone before they wake up and return late (unless Mr. P and I stay at my Dad's).

What happened is that, after all this time, I finally came to the realization that my hopes of being "a family" are ridiculous. It doesn't matter that BioHo is a ho and a sh!t mother and that all of her children loathe her. It doesn't matter that I am everything good that she will never be. It's that I will always be DH's wife. NOT part of *their* family.

What a horrible weekend.

What a horrible weekend. What was your DH's excuse?

I used to be the same way. I would make TWO separate breakfast every morning because skids didn't like eggs. I would make DH eggs and skids French toast or pancakes. Was that good enough, NOPE. They complained that they never got to eat cereal or toast.

Ninji, I wasn't at my desk

Ninji, I wasn't at my desk when DH tried to call. I got home 2+ hours later than I usually do and my cell phone was turned off. The plans were not made until SD23 called him at 3pm - I am usually home by 2:30pm but didn't get home 'til almost 5pm.

I have voicemail at work, but

I have voicemail at work, but I was working with my boss. When I left, I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. DH left me a voicemail, but I never noticed. I rarely look at my work phone because I get MAYBE 3-4 voicemails a YEAR.

Sending you healing and hugs.

Sending you healing and hugs. So much pain! It seems like you don't get any breaks from this step life, even when they are older. The SD23 sounds horrid and selfish. Your DH sounds very clueless. But for him to kiss up after the fact tells me that he pretty much knew what he was doing was going to hurt you.

Last weekend, when Winona started with her complaining and rudeness (had her temper tantrum, then would not clean as promised, muttered that SO should "just shut up already") and they were going to the beach 1 1/2 hours away to a friends house, I really did not want to be around the snotty entitled brat. So I stayed home, did my thing and read a book. Then at the end of the day, when the sunset was going to happen I drove to the beach myself, and watched it all alone. I sent a photo to SO. He was in a chair watching the sunset, but it was windy where he was. We were both missing each other!!!! As beautiful as it was, it wasn't nearly as beautiful as it would have been with SO. He said he really really missed me.

Did your DH really really miss you? Is that why he was being sweet and kind? then give him a second chance and do something at the cabin together

Im glad that Mr P was there to give you the love.

I too went in thinking "this is everything I have ever wanted! A little family of my own (human family), and we can now live happily ever after!!!! Now I am thinking of ways to escape, but still keep my man. Relegated to being last on the list forever.

CLove, I don't believe DH did

CLove, I don't believe DH did this to hurt me. In Summer and Fall, he and PrincASS and PigPen usually go camping one weekend a month or stay at a friend's farm and do farm work for the weekend. Kind of a male-bonding weekend. SD23 asked them for a weekend last year and I knew about it. DH tried to call (left a VM at work), but I didn't see it and my cell was turned off.

Yes, DH really missed me. We see each other every day, even though he works nights. I usually get home in time to spend 45-60 minutes with him before he leaves for work (we pass each other in the morning - him on his way home and me on my way to work). On days I have to work late and don't get home in time to see him, he says it's 'weird and the house feels empty'. So I'm positive he truly missed me.

Woman, I am NOT going to that cabin!! That is SD23's husband's family cabin. BioHo has been there skanking up the place. Ew!!! My family has a summer place. We go there.

Ok Aniki - I guess I do not

Ok Aniki - I guess I do not have the background firmly in my head. I saw the word "cabin" and started fantasizing about it...

A family summer house - go there as soon as you can to wipe away the feelings of last weekend. I am already planning another Friday evening excursion plus a weekend full of US-ness. Munchkin SD10 wont be there and so we are going to plan activities.

You need to have some alone time with DH.

But I get that your post (and sadness) was really based on the "big picture" time review of how you used to feel and act, and what you were hoping for and the ultimate reality of the feelings of not belonging to a family unit.

My SO, when we were conversing at the firepit over cocktails after this beachy excursion (skids spent most of the day watching television, spent about 10 minutes on the beach, it was too windy anyway, and then left after a small dinner) he told me that when I came into his life, his family was broken - everyone was broken. I was also broken. Its been a hard tough road trying to put the pieces back together again - we get stronger and better everyday.

Sounds like you and DH have put your pieces back together, but maybey his children are still very broken, and haven't the wisdom to even know it, much less try to put themselves back together so they are whole again.

CLove, I do believe you hit

CLove, I do believe you hit the nail on the head. The skids ARE broken. Their mother is a piece of sh!t and all of them hate her. Well, I don't know about Spawn10, but I imagine that sh!t will hit the fan in the next 4-6 years. BioHo has always been highly emotional, easy to anger, and flat out mean. I have often wondered if they think I would be just as bad, in the long run.

SD23 got pregnant at 16 to get away from 'Ho. 'Ho had a major hissy fit when they moved into a house 45 minutes away from 'Ho. 'Ho will probably have twin cows when they move 6 HOURS away (he is trying to get a new job).

SD20 tried to move in with DH and me 4 years ago because she and 'Ho had a huge fight. We got bedroom furniture and everything...and SDthen16 said she wanted her 21yo boyfriend to move in, too. DH said HELL NO and that the BF was not allowed in the house unless one of us was home. So SD stayed put. However, she clashes daily with 'Ho and plans to move to CALIFORNIA as soon as she graduates.

PrincASS17 (stb18) asked DH right after Christmas if he could move in. DH told him he could not. 'Ho was not about to let him leave without a court fight and by the time that happened, PrincASS would be 18. So PrincASS decided to join the Army and leaves home less than 2 weeks after he graduates from HS.

PigPen14 ran away 2 years ago - when he STOLE 'HO's CAR. Yep. 12 years old and got 300 miles away before he got lost and called Mommeeee. Which baffles me. How can a 12yo find a 20yo female online who thinks he is 18, and DRIVE 300 miles, but cannot Google Map when he gets lost???

Spawn10 has been living the good life. The oldest children have always been babysitters and chauffeurs for the younger children so 'Ho could go out and party. Spawn is spoiled rotten. From the very beginning, she would scream and ALL OF THEM would give her whatever she wanted to get her to stop. After all, poor Spawn was fatherless because her father drank himself to death. Then again. he wasn't part of Spawn's life except for CS because 'Ho cheated on him (she cheats on everyone), so he dumped her, moved to the coast, and married someone else. From the pictures I've seen, 'Ho has been dressing Spawn like a hoochie mama since she could walk.

Clever, one of the reasons I

Clever, one of the reasons I make myself scarce IS because PrincASS is leaving. Okay, that and the fact that I don't like him very much...

I know the skids are there to spend time with DH; not me.
I know the skids have a sh!tty biomother.

However, even being included in activities will not make the skids like me or want me around. Like I said, they LOVED all of those homemade goodies. But it won't change the fact that they want DH to themselves. Hell, PrincASS and PigPen spend the weekend vying for DH's attention. If he doesn't split his time between them equally, they get p!ssy.

Cellphones, desk work phones,

Cellphones, desk work phones, texts, email, call the business front desk and leave a message, etc, etc, etc....

DH failed to effectively communicate or follow through to make sure he kept you informed. My guess would be that this was not an accident on his part.

Time for a CTJ talk with DH so he has clarity and .... he goes nowhere this weekend because you have plans for just the two of you. Since he did not inform you of his last minute plans.... what is good for the goose if good for the gander so to speak. }:)

Rags, DH DID leave a

Rags, DH DID leave a voicemail on my work phone. When I got back to my desk, I didn't even LOOK at my phone, much less notice the Message light was blinking. If anything, the fault lies with me for a) not checking my work phone and b) having my cell phone turned off.

As for this weekend? DH is working. That's the only place he'll be going.

ETA: There is NO front desk. We all have our own phones.

Effective communication is

Effective communication is the responsibility of the communicator... particularly making sure the recipient has seen the communication. And definitely in the initial phases of a new topic.

IMHO of course.

I don't disagree with you.

I don't disagree with you. When SD23 called DH to ask him and the skids to go, I *technically* should have already been home from work. I was almost 2.5 hours LATE (this happens once a week or so). DH left me messages - I should have communicated that in the original post. He actually called my work phone 4 TIMES. It is my fault for not checking the phones and my cell phone was off.

It is not the seeming lack of communication from/with DH that broke the dam. It was the breaking of the rose-colored glasses and the knowledge that my *dream* is exactly that.

Take care of you. I hope

Take care of you. I hope you enjoyed your Skid free weekend. I like some Rags alone time periodically my self. In fact... DW jumped on a plane yesterday to Fla to meet two of her Saudi expat ladies posse for some girl fun. We will meet at my mom and dads back in Texas on Saturday.

I always am a bit uncomfortable when she asks if she can go on one of these last minute jaunts. Of course she can go. I want her to go. Often I have to push the idea on her to get her butt on a plane and go visit her family or friends. Those kinds of things are part of why we do the Expat thing. So we can take advantage of travel opportunities and have the flexibility to go when the opportunities arise.

It is no fun in our extended stay apartment without her but I am getting tons of work done and at least I am in control of the remote.

Fruity, you're tempting me

Fruity, you're tempting me something fierce!! I'm damn near ready to drink a bottle of wine anyways. Concussion, be damned!!

P.S.

My vivid imagination is going to go crazy imaging Fruity the Valkryie coming to kick ass...

Hugs Aniki.

Thank you, robin! xoxo

Thank you, anotherstep. What

Thank you, anotherstep. What you said is spot on.

There are things I really WOULD like to do, but after the big plumbing fiasco, we are so broke, we can't pay attention. To be blunt, I cannot afford the co-pay to go back and see my therapist UNLESS I get a PT job. And I am too mentally exhausted to even contemplate that at this point.

that's beautiful, another. i

that's beautiful, another. i 'second' your comment with all my heart.

Anotherstep, you are so right

Anotherstep, you are so right that nothing replaces family. My parents both came from large families (6 kids on Dad's side; 7 kids on Mom's). 10 of those siblings had big families (5+ kids). 3 of my siblings are married with a total of 20 kids/grandkids.

I have 4 siblings and we had 2 foster sisters for a few years. We did tons of stuff togetgher: camping, hiking, vacations, dying Easter eggs, playing board games, decorating for Christmas, going to the movies, playing softball, making pizza, baking cookies, building/painting the fence, building the garaged... If it was happening at our house, we were all involved.

When I found out I couldn't have kids, I resigned myself to the fact I would never carry on that kind of tradition. Then I had a glimmer of hope and have kept that fire burning all this time. This past weekend's pity party pretty much extinguished that fire.

{{{anotherstep}}}

Ugh. It doesn't matter if you

Ugh. It doesn't matter if you would not have chosen to go with them, it still stinks.I hate that feeling of being left out. I know how much it hurts. Exclusion is the favorite game of middle school girls and adult SDs, lol.

And I am sure your DH is basically good guy like you say, but he still screwed up. He should have not committed to SD until he talked to you. If he couldn't reach you, he should have waited until you got home. That's just common courtesy.

Glad your fur baby had your back.

TexasPickles, DH knows I

TexasPickles, DH knows I would have told him to go. I know how much DH loves PrincASS and that he will miss him horribly when he's gone.

As someone so astutely pointed out to me, it was The Death Of A Dream that finally hit me. Add that to my emotional low and it was a hard hit.

My fur baby is so good to his Mommy.

Thanks, monkey. It sure as

Thanks, monkey. It sure as hell has been pouring!! {{{HUGS}}}

StepAside, thank you for

StepAside, thank you for taking the time to respond.

I honestly believe that I treated the skids exactly as I treat anyone - polite and kind. Baked goodies are a normal thing in our house - DH has a HUGE sweet tooth. I no longer try to bake for the skids - I bake what DH wants. No matter to me if the skids don't like it. DH can get them so premade, chemical-laden caca.

I do not have a problem with DH making last minute plans with the skids - I am rarely in the house on skid weekends. We will have to disagree that DH was rude by agreeing - I ENCOURAGE him to do things with the boys. SD called him while she and her family were driving to the cabin. She called at a time when I have typically been home for half an hour. DH called my cell - it was off. He called my work phone several times and left a message. I was away from my desk and didn't notice the message light was blinking.

Um, I'm certainly NOT her secretary. She cannot understand why DH doesn't have his phone glued to his person (hey, you're going to mow but you left your phone inside. WTH!?!?!). DH considers the phone an intrusion. He responds when he wants to. I have already made the decision that any future texts (or calls) of this nature from her will go unanswered.

My brass ring is staying married to and being happy with the love of my life. From here on, I will treat the skids as I would a stranger: politely with no offering of personal info and no encouragement to hear THEIR personal info.

I wish you could come stay

I wish you could come stay with me in Florida for the weekend. You could bring the furbaby

NoWire, believe me, if I

NoWire, believe me, if I could afford to come to Florida, Mr. P and I would start packing!!! xoxo

HeavenLike, thank you. This

HeavenLike, thank you. This WAS very painful. I have to say that this was always a HUGE dream for me. The bigger the dream, the bigger the disappointment, the bigger the hurt.

I'm going to consider this the beginning of a New Phase in my life. The dream is dead. Let it go. Breathe. In with the good air, out with the bad. Baby steps. I will do my best to NOT ask about anything skid-related. I will not get into a lengthy conversation with DH about skids. I will 'mmhmm', 'okay', 'that's nice dear' in response and change the subject.

It's time to get my coloring books, crayons, and pencils back out and indulge in a little escapism.
Get out one of my PITA jigsaws (I have several that are unopened) and lose myself in the puzzle.
Look through my hundreds of cookbooks and find something new to try.

And... make plans to get away for Memorial Weekend. That is a skid weekend and PrincASS's last weekend before he enlists. DH is already mourning EOWe with PrincASS. Mr. P and I will go SOMEWHERE. {{{hugs}}

Hugs I'm so sorry that's

*Hugs* I'm so sorry that's all I can offer, but it annoys me that you oh so sweet DH seemed to have done very little over the course of your relationship to make sure his kids were grateful, or at least had MANNERS to thank someone for putting their heart and soul into wanting to make sure they had a great life.

I would stop responding so nicely to the texts. A simple "ok" would do. I think sometimes we think we need to go above and beyond when it is not necessary to people who treat us so poorly.

Besides, "ok" is a great response that puts the other person on their toes, regardless of whether it's a guy that has pissed you off or a friend who has taken one too many liberties with you.

Again, hugs. Wipe those tears and live another day and realize these rude ass people are not worth your thoughts and feelings. They don't deserve it. They could have, but they chose not to.

Not2sureimsane, DH has always

Not2sureimsane, DH has always made sure the skids thank me for doing things. For instance, at Christmas, when we are all gathered in the living room, he announces to all "hey guys, Aniki is the one who made all of the food and picked out your gifts". DH only gives Visa cards. LOL! Before they leave, he asks each of them (unless he heard them) if they thanked me.

I might respond with a simple OK...a couple hours later. }:)

And what you said? They could have, but they chose not to.

Yeah, I'm taking that to heart. {{{hugs}}}

Im so sorry Aniki..sounds

Im so sorry Aniki..sounds like communication breakdown with your DH. Realising your dream aint gunna become reality is devastating, but know this. There's a silver lining to every cloud..so something else positive and fabulous is coming your way. All the effort you made came from the love in your heart..which was and is pure. You will get that back triple fold. You sound so warm and fun..I know good things are coming to you. Im sad you cant have a wine..hopefully you'll be able to indulge real soon..xx

Thank you, IslandGal. It was

Thank you, IslandGal. It was a hard thing to realize, but it is what it is. I'm not going to waste another tear on what could have been. I have tried my best. Now I will put that energy where it belongs - into me, Mr. P, and DH and our lives.

I plan to drink wine this weekend, even if it's only one freakin' glass!!!

((hugs)) Sending you so much

((hugs)) Sending you so much love and healing. You are a beautiful, kind and loving woman. I am so sorry that this was never returned or embraced by your steps. There are no words of comfort I can offer for the sheer sense of emptyness you must have felt.

You are here

Why do I have to be an optimistic pinhead??

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