Just wanted to give everyone an update. If you recall, DH pays $2500 to BM1 and $2900 to BM2, and he has been laid off for over a year. Our savings has dwindled to the point of near extinction. All the skids are on my insurance and I pay for medical care (which is expensive - SD16 is a Type 1 Diabetic).

We fired our crappy lawyer (who had done nothing for a year) and got a new one. New lawyer is GREAT! He's had a number of calls with DH. We can only file for a mod on BM2, who still lives in TX. BM1 has been living in NC long enough we would have to file there, and skids are closing to aging out and we have an excellent relationship with BM1. We will likely not rock the boat.

Lawyer said that DH has been unemployed for over a year, so the judge should decide based on *future potential* earnings, not what assets we have. As our lawyer put it "you can't sell a house every year to keep paying her. You had 1 house and you sold it. Now you're out of houses". He said the fact that we have never missed a payment and have continued insurance really helps our case. In addition, DH has reached out to BM2 (who is in an HR function at a large consulting firm) and her friends for help in finding a job....editing his resume, help him find a position, etc. No one can argue that he is not trying. The trouble is that he can't accept a lower paying job because he won't be able to afford child support.

Well, yesterday BM got served (via email) notifying her about the changes. DH gave her a heads up over the phone and she seemed surprisingly OK with it. I guess she figured it would have to happen eventually.

There are three options: 1) DH and BM come to an agreement out of court (not likely....BM originally asked for $4,000 in child support and eventually agreed to 2,900). 2) She doesn't fight it and we go to court and the judge assigns a number 3) She fights it and demands all of his financial records for the last few years and we fight it out while the judge decides.

Fingers crossed for option 2.

After CS has been decided, we are filing to change the decree. Specifically, to put in some clauses saying she has to respond within a certain time after we call (she will ignore DH's calls and facetimes for days, skids are too young to have their own phones). We also want to claim 1 of the kids on our taxes, and a few other changes.

****EDIT***** Lawyer called back. He is filing for the mod to be lowered to $1,250 per month. He said the absolute MAX he should be paying, regardless of how much he earns, should be $1,750. He's been unemployed for over a year so obviously his future potential earnings are much lower. BM2 wants to settle out of court so they are proposing $1,250 to her today*******