SK acts like a village idiot
... and I can't deal. I'm disengaged, but her behavior is annoying as hell.
She's 10. She's the most flighty, no-bounderary-having, overly chatty, rude child ever. If she's not twirling around someone's house or in a restaurant (that is... if she's not bouncing up and down in her seat at the table), she's making senseless conversation about something or someone none of us know OR talking about her mom. MIL informed SK she needed to brush her hair more often, put it up in a bun or ponytail and that quickly turned into how her mom, BM, won't let her get her hair cut.
If she sees someone eating or drinking something, she'll blurt out "I want some of THAT!"
DH "enforces" SK put away her iPhone when we're all together, at meals, but doesn't physically take it away. So, that leaves genius SK with her iPhone in her lap, not-so-secretly powering it on and off because "Mommy might text me!"
Adding to all of this, my 2.5 year old toddler is at wits end with SK's constant need to herd, pick her up, or tell her what or how to do something. Four weeks into visitation, my toddler has resorted to swatting at SK like a fly because she is freaking annoyed by her.
DH addresses SK's behavior, if he sees it. MIL mutters under her breath at SK to stop whatever unsavory behavior is happening. All I can do is give SK that dead stare when she demands M&Ms - because she just happened to see me offer ONE to my toddler to get us calmly out the door and into the car. And bite my tongue. A lot of biting my tongue.
Is this a girl and/or age thing?
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It's your DH that needs to
It's your DH that needs to put on his big boy pants and parent that little brat BUT when she's interacting with YOUR child, that's where i draw the line disengaged or not. If she starts herding or picking up or telling your child what to do just step in, inform her that she is to leave her sister alone and then enforce that. Make her go sit in her room for five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes...up it every time you have to send her to her room to stop terrorizing your child. That is, assuming she doesn't have a tv and video games in her room. If she does, take the cords when you send her in there.
I agree with kathc about
I agree with kathc about stepping in when something SD is doing affects your bio.
I'm essentially disengaged from SD8, but I always step in when something she's done has an impact on me or DD3. That's well within your right as a parent.
I most definitely step in and
I most definitely step in and say something when it involves one of our toddlers. It is all the dang time, though. It bothers me that my toddler feels the need to hit -- a 10 year old to initiate personal space.
In a restaurant last night, I told my daughter that we don't stick our tongue out at the table during meals, because you guessed it, SK was trying to be funny doing that to her.
I don't hand out punishment to SK, but I'll gladly make her look like an ass by pointing-out what's inappropriate by asking my toddler to stop.
I was quiet and reserved at this age. Well-behaved too. I have 6 more weeks of this crap to look forward.
You're absolutely right -- he
You're absolutely right -- he does.
Are there seriously
Are there seriously 10-year-olds who have iPhones?? That just seems really young and unnecessary to me.
Yes. She's had it since she
Yes. She's had it since she was 7 and it's a pitiful sight, imo.
BM got it for SK after denying DH visitation for approximately six months straight. It was so she could get ahold of SK "whenever she damn well pleased". She's terrified of missing, and not responding in a timely manner, to one of BMs gazillion daily texts. It's a never ending issue.
It's one thing to give a kid
It's one thing to give a kid that age a phone to use in case of emergencies. But for BM to get her a phone for the reason she did is kind of ridiculous. I'm assuming your husband wouldn't deny BM the right to call SD on his phone or your land line if she wanted to? Instead she's got a 10 year old who is addicted to an iPhone and it sounds like it causes her to be completely preoccupied and unable to engage with the people she's with.
He has, but he fails to have
He has, but he fails to have a backbone about it. It's as if every visitation we revisit this issue. Then, I have to be the ass and be like, hey guys, remember the phone rules? Then he and his parents are half-assed on board.
My husband is quite the Disney Dad, while I'm consistent in parenting our children. I was afraid this would happen. Rules for some, little to none, or exceptions, with others.
My SS is the village idiot.
My SS is the village idiot. Welcome to my world.
I agree with the sharing and
I agree with the sharing and I would never offer something to a child and not another if standing next or near one another.
In this instance, I was leaving a family BBQ alone with my two littles. SK apparently saw me pull one out of a ziploc baggy of about 5 M&Ms I keep in my diaper bag for bribary.
If someone were to walk into someone's house with a soda, she'd blurt out that she wanted one. It's all in her delivery and it's rude.
Maybe it's just me, but I was raised that it wasn't acceptable behavior to side-blind an adult, loudly and rudely demanding something like a three year old.
My DD also has her own iPad,
My DD also has her own iPad, but her use of it is restricted and monitored. I wouldn't put up with what's going on in the OP's situation. It sounds like the OP's husband isn't doing a great job of enforcing the so-called rules he's got surrounding SD"s iPhone use.
Thanks Teas, he's not. We
Thanks Teas, he's not. We revisit this every visitation. No iPhone at the dinner table, etcetera. DH lacks consistency for sure.
I don't have an issue with
I don't have an issue with electronics. Heck, my toddler uses my iPad mini more days than not.
With the iPhone it's basically a means of BM being intrusive over visitation.