I really wanted to share this on here because I was shocked by the way that DH handled this situation. I don't think I could have handled it better.

On Saturday, I noticed DS10 and SD9 both needed new shoes. I took them shopping to one of the local shoe stores that is known for having good deals. I told them that they were both getting a new pair of tennis shoes and told them I wasn't spending more than $25 on each pair. DS10 found a pair easily and was happy. He sat and played his Kindle. SD9 was having a little more difficulty finding a pair she liked. She kept going back to this one pair that cost around $50. I told her I wasn't going to pay that for shoes. (On a side note, I can't justify spending that much at the end of the school year when she goes through shoes quickly and is still growing). Anyways, I tried to convince her several more times to pick out a pair of shoes. She got upset and stopped talking to me. When she gets mad or upset, she goes silent. I tried talking it through with her. She wouldn't talk to me at all and grabbed the $50 shoes she wanted and refused to put them back. I told her I wasn't buying them. She sat on the floor and held onto the box of shoes. Finally, I told her we were leaving. I took the shoes away from her and put them up on a high shelf so she couldn't get them, grabbed her hand and went to check out. She was crying and making a scene while I was paying for DS10's shoes. She then refused to get into the car and just stood in the parking spot. It took me 10 minutes to get her into the car.

I take her home and tell DH what happened. He was angry and went in her room and was talking to her. She starts crying and telling him she wants those shoes. He told her we weren't paying for those shoes so to forget it. She got an attitude and slammed her Kindle down. She yelled at him. And then she said something that I know came from BM. She told him that he owed her and he should spend more money on special shoes because he took her away from her mom. DH told her he thought she was right, she did deserve special shoes. At this point, I had no idea what he was planning but he told me to trust him.

So he picked her up from school yesterday and took her shopping. They weren't gone very long. When they got home, she didn't look happy and went straight to her room. DH took her to the local dollar store and bought her a new pair of canvas shoes out of this big bin of shoes they had. He told her that he wanted her to understand that we have to provide her with shoes and clothes, but nothing says they have to be pretty or expensive. He told her to think about all the pretty stuff she has and how those were things we gave her because we wanted too, not because we owed her. He told her to get this idea that she is owed out of her head because it is complete crap and will only cause her problems. Apparently, he gave her a long lecture on the way home. Last night, she came into my office and apologized for her behavior.

I think this was the perfect punishment. He was so calm and collected about the whole thing. He also took her Kindle away since she doesn't respect it. She very rarely acts out like this. She is a little whiny and complains sometimes, but not like this. I am not sure where it came from. The only thing I can think of is that she talked to BM several times last week. It was the first time in a while so I am thinking it wasn't a coincidence that her attitude has changed.