Wish I could care but I don't
Okay, maybe I do or I wouldn't waste time posting about it.
DH and SD were estranged for a couple of years. I felt bad for DH but relished the peace and quiet and drama free times.
I used to feel like it was all my fault because I didn't try hard enough or whatever. Not anymore. DH doesn't even blame me anymore.
We still send a little something for birthdays and Christmas after brief discussion. DH always asks my opinion and I tell him go ahead, do what you want.
So finally, she calls DH. I'm happy for him, but dreading it also.
I guess she's having a hard time at work now and took some time off because she's stressed and being harassed. She could always dish it out but bless her heart she just can't take it.
I look back on the years of relational aggression, manufactured crises and outright lies designed to get my DH and I to fight and I just can't... stand the thought of her being around again.
There. I said it. I want to just go on like nothing ever happened. I've tried before and she always engineers some new outrage or attack but it's very sneaky. My kids and I see it plainly but DH denies it.
Just not looking forward to it.
She was bound to come back. I just wish she could come back and be decent but she'll probably still be stirring up trouble like she always did.
Thanks for listening.
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Almost 30 married
Almost 30 married homeowner.
Has it together pretty much.
Just hates me.
Talk to your DH. Tell him how
Talk to your DH. Tell him how much you've enjoyed the lack of drama and craziness while she has been out of your lives. Let him have his relationship with her, but also tell him you expect him to not allow her to bring that negative garbage back with her. Surely he has seen how nice things have been the last couple of years. She's an adult, there is no reason at all to allow her to bring drama into your household at this point, especially if she "has it together".
If it gets to the point that
If it gets to the point that she wants to come around, I would just be honest with your DH and tell him that you would like to be kept out of dealings/visits with his daughter.
Maybe she just wants someone to listen to her woes and they can just talk on the phone.
I think he does see things as
I think he does see things as they are, but he will always have that dream of happy familyness no matter what happens.
I never bring anything up one way or another.
I'm okay with him visiting her, but I really don't want to be dragged into it and neither do the kids.
I was seriously ready to leave a year ago over DH attitude. Things were just starting to settle down.
Now I'll have to wait and see how he handles things. I have still kept my distance, so if he gets a lousy attitude again it won't hurt so much. I've had him and his on ignore for a while now.
My DH is extremely aware of
My DH is extremely aware of his son's shortcomings. But like any parent he so wants to buy the dream that his son has finally grown up and can be a decent human being.
To be honest I'd love to see that too. The difference is that I will NEVER believe that has happened until he has several years of sobriety and non-violence - oh and yes a steady job.
SS30 has a better GF than before (has a degree, job and is not a junkie/skank) and she just had his baby. Maybe SS will rise to the occasion. But to be honest - probably not.
DH as his dad so wants to believe that he will turn his life around. But he can't hold a job and spends way too many days smoking weed before he switches to alcohol at night. He spends his limited funds on weed, vodka and cigarettes.
I just keep SS away from me as much as possible. I've only seen him once for about 10 minutes in the last 2 1/2 years. DH can go see him. But I do not want SS or his problems in my life.
As this holiday season ends I realize that I have a wonderful life - lots of great friends and relatives who are decent normal people. It is so much better to keep trash out of your life. Some people (I started to say skids but it really is not limited to skids) are like cockroaches. Do not even let one be in your home.