O/T - Depression Meds
This is completely off topic as far as this site goes, but I don't know where else to get some feedback from people, so hopefully some of you have some insight on this subject and can help me come up with a solution.
I have been depressed pretty much my entire life. I also got very heavy, topping out at 203 lbs. 4 years ago, I started a new journey in my life and got down to 150 lbs. I had never felt so energized and wonderful, I had confidence I had never known before (although I will admit, I did still think I was fat). That's part of my disease though, I'm never good enough.
So enough background - I started taking depression meds about 6 months ago. I have tried 3 different meds as of now, the first one did nothing - the 2nd one seemed to help, BUT I gained 20lbs in about 2 months. So off that one - I CANNOT get that big again. The fact that I weigh 170 lbs makes me want to "die". That sounds dramatic, but those are the things I end up thinking. I'm also a very, very jealous person. It's to the point where I have a hard time even watching movies/tv that include nudity - or even just girls in bikinis - with my SO. It's terrible to hate yourself so much. To end up feeling so inadequate just b/c someone is prettier/thinner than you.
Anyways, the meds seemed to help me control my anger as far as the jealous, etc. I did notice a difference, it was a good change. HOWEVER, I gained 20 lbs (NOT happy about that at all) AND I had absolutely no desire for sex, at all. It took everything I had just to have an orgasm. It wasn't even worth it to me, it just took too much concentration and was exhausting (so of course, SO blames himself - no matter how hard I tried to tell him he wasn't his fault).
Fast forward to now: I have been off the meds for about 2 weeks now. I can already see my old "crazy" coming back, unfortunately, BUT I can orgasm again AND not eat everything in my sight. What am I supposed to do!?! I am now terrified of the meds, I do not want to try anything else, just for what? To gain another 10 lbs? The 20 lbs I put on is going to be hell to lose, especially since my mind isn't quite "right" at the moment.
I just want to know if anyone else out there has experienced this - and what you did about it. I am at a loss... it feels like a lose-lose situation, no matter how I look at it.
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Wellbutrin has been helpful
Wellbutrin has been helpful for me. Depression lightened. No medication related weight gain. Orgasms whenever SO & I are together --- 'course, he is rather talented. (smirk)
I am going to look into this.
I am going to look into this. It's worth a try, that's for sure!
Urbanol and Welbutrin are a
Urbanol and Welbutrin are a win!
Wellbutrin was the first one
Wellbutrin was the first one I tried - it doesn't effect me in any way. I was honestly hoping it would help me lose weight, and stop smoking!! But it just didn't do a thing, unfortunately.
I was so frustrated at the
I was so frustrated at the beginning. It seemed as if there was no frickin' difference. I was still busting into tears at weird times. Slow boost of dosage. Now, I feel better. I no longer drop my mom at the grocery store, alert a clerk that I'm leaving her unattended, go to my car and bawl. It's been since August and I'm beginning to feel human again.
Did you give it a long enough try?
Paxil is notorious for
Paxil is notorious for inhibiting sexual ability. Stay away from it.
I took Cymbalta about 6 years ago when I was taking care of my elderly, dying father I lost 30 pounds without even trying. Several doctors have said that is not uncommon. I wasn't terribly depressed but Cymbalta helps with the pain that can accompany Chronic fatigue (or fibromyalgia).
I had a very bad reaction
I had a very bad reaction with Wellbutrin. Major anxiety attacks.
I have been on Zoloft for several years and will probably always be on it, depression is prevalent in my family history.
When I first went on Zoloft, I lost a bunch of weight.
Make sure you are working
Make sure you are working with a psychiatrist who specializes in psychopharmacology - the use of medications in treating mental disorders. Do not see your regular physician, you need a specialist.
Finding the correct drug is trial and error. What works for one person may have the opposite effect on you. Please don't be afraid to keep trying. There are many different anti-depressants out there, you just haven't found the right one yet. Obviously the drugs work, or you wouldn't notice the depression coming back. You just need to find the right drug that will help with your depression and that has side effects that you can manage. (They all have side effects of some sort.)
Keep in mind that it can take up to 8 weeks to see a change with a new drug. Some drugs clear the system quickly while other can take days to clear - meaning you have to wait to try a new one.
Dosage is extremely important and can make a huge difference. You have to find the "sweet spot" that works for you. Too much can be as bad as too little. Lots of factors have to be considered including your age and other meds you are on.
Side effects that happen at the beginning may lessen the longer you are on a drug. If a drug seems to be working but you can't stand the side effects, try to hang in there and see if they lessen.
Studies have shown that the best way to deal with depression is with a combination of talk therapy and medication. If you aren't in therapy - please give it a try. You can find psychiatrists and psychologists who work together so your treatment can be coordinated.
Exercise has also been shown to be very helpful with depression - sometimes as good as medication. It sounds like you are already eating right, which is also helpful.
Please don't give up. Depression is a disease that can be managed - you just have to find what will work for you. It took me a long time to find the right combination of meds and lifestyle changes to get my depression completely under control. When I started the process there weren't as many options as there are now. You will be able to figure it out - just hang in there.
I take Wellbutrin and Xanax
I take Wellbutrin and Xanax daily. But it sounds like you need to talk to someone.
Yea, I've been doing the
Yea, I've been doing the therapy thing for about 6-8 months now as well. Started everything at once... just kinda felt like my life was spiraling out of control and my SO really wanted me to try something as well. I'm just tired of this rollercoaster!
You are right - the "roller
You are right - the "roller coaster" part is terrible. You start a medication and at the beginning there is often the "placebo" effect. You want the medication to work so you think you feel better. Then you realize you don't really feel better. Or you do feel better, but there is some negative side-effect that outweighs the good.
But if you keep at it, you will find the right drug that will help you. If you combine that with good talk therapy and exercise you will be ok.
Have you looked into meditation at all? There are some studies that show "mindfulness" is especially helpful with depression.