So my friend just posted a selfie on facebook
She's an anorexic. The picture is of her in her hospital bed with feeding tubes and she looks like she is starving to death. She is nothing but bones and looks like she is dying. I haven't seen her in awhile. She lives many states away from me and she doesn't post a lot of pictures of herself. I know she suffers from this and has since a child but even with that knowledge it hurts so bad to see her this way.
And I fight with SO, or I did anyway, about his exwife. She used to be 260 lbs and lost her weight on Adapex. She still takes diet pills. She is now 160 lbs and looks great. She does. She has giant fake boobs and she is a hair dresser and knows her profession well. But his kids inherited his skinny build. The youngest has type 1 diabetes. She went undiagnosed for two years and went from 100 lbs to 68 lbs. She lost 13 lbs in the month of Sept before her diagnosis. I used to just scream at him that something was just so so so wrong and that 11 year olds don't lose 13 lbs in a month but his ex wife was THRILLED . The more weight her daughter lost the happier she got. The woman is sick. She makes those kids get on the scale and puts them on diets if they gain 5 lbs. I don't know if she still does this to SD13 but she does do this to SD15. She does cellulite checks on them. They are both like a size one. In no one's imagination are they fat. And it pisses me off to no end when they come over and SD15 starts picking on SD13's weight (SD13 turns 14 next month and she was so starved for so long because her parents dragged their feet at investigating the cause of her illness) that she still hasn't gone through puberty. No period. No boobs. No curves. and skinny as a rail). She will never be fat. They try, and I say try cause I don't allow it but they try to do that to my girls. "You are getting fat."
My friend I've known since we were kids. I remember her mother was so abusive. She was always calling her fat and ugly and saying her forehead was too high. I have a keen memory of her mother saying "get a away from me. You look like Frankenstein." the ED came when my friend was 11. She became legally emancipated at 16 and went off to college and got a degree and a job but she has never been able to beat anorexia. Never. Every year is a new treatment center or different therapy technques. Bm reminds me of my friend's mother. She does. I'm showing SO this picture on facebook of my friend when I get home today. It's a really upsetting image .
he always defends them and his ex wife. "She just wants them to be skinny and beautiful. Wha'ts wrong with that?"
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My SD11 told me last weekend
My SD11 told me last weekend she is going on a diet with BM. It pissed me off. It's not going to hurt SD to lose some weight but no 11yr old needs to be on a diet. If BM would feed her kids something other than fastfood or bar food and make them get off the computer, SD wouldn't need to lose weight.
I told her she doesn't need to diet. Start eating healthy and get some exercise. Just because fat ass BM wants to diet doesn't mean that SD needs to start that crap already.
BM is now engaged. Since she told SO, this is the second time that SD has mentioned that she needs to lose weight for the wedding. Wonder where she's hearing that.
I used to know someone who
I used to know someone who was anorexic. She'd be sitting there on the couch and I'd be afraid she'd just break when someone else got up. I didn't want to get near her such as a hug for fear of crushing her. True anorexia is a dreadful sight and I can only begin to imagine what the photo in the hospital looks like.
68 pounds at 13 1/2? Oh, my, you must have lost your mind every time you saw her. At that age mine weighed 133 and she was well engaged with puberty. She was by no means fat, but her development was uneven. So your sd weighed 1/2 as much as mine did at the same age. I hope yours has put on some pounds since her dx. I can see why you are worried and stressed about this.
One of my SILs is what I call
One of my SILs is what I call a Functioning Anorexic. She claims she is NOT anorexic but she is a total food nazi and has absolutely NO body fat except her skinny little arse - looks like a 10 yo boy from behind. She ended up with a serious intestinal problem because she was eating minimal calorie foods, and not a healthy variety, and no meat/protein. Ended up very sick and losing 5 pounds she didn't even have available to lose. Got totally miffed with her doctor because he told her she HAD to eat protein (honey, that postage stamp-sized piece of chicken is NOT enough). So even a Functioning Anorexic who maintains the LEAST amount of weight possible so her doctor won't yell at her is NOT a healthy person. She darn near died.
You're obviously never going
You're obviously never going to be able to tame BM and her harping on the girls about their weight, and even if you could, the damage is already done, the seed is already planted. How horrible to say things like that to your child! How horrible to throw your own ridiculous insecurities at the feet of your children. Good grief, people make me sick.
I was a skinny kid but when I
I was a skinny kid but when I hit puberty I gained 20 pounds and grew 13 cm over a summer. My colleagues from high school didn't recognize me at first, when school began. when I was 15 I started to eat less and less, but had the intelligence of having the right amount of food (proteins, vitamins and everything the body needs was there). I lost some weight but i was so used to being skinny, that it wasn't enough. I was never actually anorectic, but it was a borderline case. Little did I know that when you reach adulthood and your hormones stabilize, you get back to what you are supposed to be (either skinny or a bit heavier). I can eat like a horse, love pizzas and burgers and have never weighted more than 110 from the age of 20 onward (I'm 5.6 ft). I know, I'm lucky, but I'm not bragging here: it's just to say that puberty changes you in a way that may not and usually is not permanent. People should try to be and eat healthy (I'm no example here, as chocolate is my best friend), but a parent who does what BM and your friend's mother did is totally deranged.