The beginning of the end?
Have you ever looked at your marriage and your life and thought "What the hell am I doing?" Maybe it's stress or just a bad day but damn it, it just hit me-this will inevitably end up a marriage of convenience with a five year shelf life. I'm going to have to put my life back together and start over again but from scratch.
DH is too polite or cowardly to ever be honest and when the next BM2 comes along, not caring that he's married, he'll cheat. This relationship will continue to deteriorate and he'll pretend that everything is okay because that's what he does.
I want to run. Pack my dogs up and drive until I run out of gas and figure it out from there. Nothing drastic happened, no fights, no argument or big discovery. Just a little voice in my head that sounded a lot like a Poe song. Fuck.
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No,I don't think he's
No,I don't think he's cheating, I just feel that he's not going to be honest with me when it get to the point where he's unhappy enough to act on an opportunity like that if it were to come along. Even when he's home, he's not here mentally and emotionally but insists I'm overeating. That he still loves me, it's just that honeymoon phase is over and relationships change.
Why are you wasting time
Why are you wasting time going after/sticking it to BM when you fear your husband will (is?)cheating on you? :?
For fucks sake, I'm suddenly
For fucks sake, I'm suddenly out of nowhere doubting my marriage.I'm not trying to "stick it to BM" I've been doing what he thought was best for HIS daughter.
It doesn't make sense to be
It doesn't make sense to be so involved/vested in his stuf the BM when you don't believe he will be faithful to you.
Protecting yourself should be your top priority, not his kid and his ex.
The best security you can
The best security you can have is to have your shit together. I've got my own way of protecting myself and I'm happily married. I save and plan for the what if's of life. It doesn't mean I don't think we'll make it, it means I'm realistic and I make sure I can carry myself fully if this falls through.
It sounds like you are a
It sounds like you are a better mom than BM. But you aren't SD mother. You can never ever ever be as good as HER MOTHER.
I'm a good mother. There are better mothers out there, and there are worse mothers out there, but none of them can be ANY TYPE OF MOTHER to my kids. You only get one mother.
My H was the same way. I am actually a better mom than his daughters mother. It's not bragging, it's just a statement of fact. He told me he wanted me to do all these things for his daughter. It was actually good parenting, but her mother wasn't willing to do it. And her lazy father wasn't willing to do it either. He is a complete Disney dad, completely paralyzed by fear and hell bent on catering to his daughter.
The only reasonable thing you can do is back away. You haven't even seen the worst of it yet. SD will be absolutely vicious to you, BM will really ramp up the drama, and all three of them will blame you for all SD problems forever and ever.