I totally agree with you, Stepped in, and I REALLY agree with dtzy on the truth thing.

When things got serious with SO and I started spending more time around SS7 (he had just turned 6 at the time), I asked SO "So does SS play well independently?" This was/is very important to me. The response I got was "Oh yeah! He's GREAT with that!" And I believed him. Well, I should have dug deeper. SS definitely couldn't play independently for more than, let's say, 10 minutes. He was COMPLETELY dependent on some one else (his dad, his grandmother, etc) providing entertainment for him. I've heard "Daddy, I'm bored, what can I do?" more times than I care to count. This is STILL something we struggle with, almost a year later.

I would also add that anyone thinking about getting into a step situation ask their partner what the expectations are. Do you want me to parent your child or be a silent observer or somewhere in the middle? When you talk to me about a situation with skid, do you want my opinion or do you just like hearing yourself talk?

I think you can ask all that and it still would not matter. On paper, DH and I are in complete agreement on all accounts.

In real life, throw a pissed off BM or a tearful Skid at him and he crumbles and all common sense is thrown out the window.

Yeah it's a wonderful theory but what about us Gals dating men with children too young for these questions to be applied to. He'll say he'll do this or that but when it's time to cross that bridge, who really knows.

8. Do you feel guilty that your kids are COD? And how much are you willing to pay for that guilt?