Okay, sd15 has just decided she doesn't want to live with us. Counsler finally talked to her about going to a girls baptist home. I am for this and against this at the same time. Here are some reasons why.

PRO'S
DONT HAVE TO FIGHT AND YELL EVERYDAY
DONT HAVE EMAILS FROM TEACHERS-DAILY
DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LEAVING HER HOME ALONE

CONS.
MY BOYS HAVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH. THEY LOVE HER
I LOVE HER
I HATE TO SEE ANYONE GO TO A HOME

So...my last HUGE attempt. (i can do this)
Dh got a new job and since the big ordeal last week she rides the bus to her grandmothers. I decided yesterday if I am going to do this I am going to do this the right way. NO IF ANDS OR BUTS
So i picked her up and she is a hateful brat. I get down on one knee and I said is baptist home really what you want? she replys if that is the only thing that will help. I said no sd its not a change needs to happen no matter what!
Im willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. ARE YOU? she didn't get up her grandmother goes to talk to her and I peak my head back in the door and I said look... Thats it if you walk back out this door you are not walking back in. You are putting your brothers and this family through too much becuase you don't want to even try. There will be no undoing this. She ended up getting in the car.

We got home...
I sat my 5 year old with donkey kong and he asked her to play with him. they played for an hour. she doesn't even really know how to act like a teen or a kid or even anything good. I know that is bad of me to say but...im not sure she has much good.

Her chores are to do the dishes wipe tables and sweep the floor. along with fold one load of laundry. a night. well i went ahead and did the dishes. I had to have her redo the tables and counters twice. but there was no huge breakdown. I want to keep this up. I don't have a supportive DH. Its not fair for me to do all this and then when he comes home he eats his plate in the microwave and goes to bed. where is my support for trying to keep his daughter out of this place. I have had six years of hell. I don't know what to even do about grounding. she was grounded from music and tv becuase she is failing all her classes. even home ec and health EVERYTHING. the more we fight her about them the worse she gets. So If i continue this how do I decide proper grounding?

Maybe I should just let her go to a girls home...but comming from someone who has been there its really hard. we do care about her.

When all of this came about she said she wanted to go live with someone like her. Thats when I said you went to a theraputic girls home for 6 months and you hated every moment of ever minuite and cried and screamed to come home. that when she said she wants to live with an adult like her. meaning her mother.