My SD11 sleeps with BM every night at that house. SD11 is about to start middle school and still baby talks ALL.THE.TIME. smh

But curiously, did you say that to her about how inappropriate it is. I think women get fixated on things and usually it our friends that talk us down and show us that we are being a little crazy. I know my good friends do that and I would hope you did that for her.

I don't understand Co sleeping either. SO would let Skids sleep with him when we first started dating. Which I found gross because SD peed the bed every night.

That was years ago and I don't even let them in my room now.

SO has gotten on BM's ass many times for allowing SD to sleep in bed with her and what ever new guy she was screwing that week. The new boy toy (now Fiancé) put a stop to that. SD told me they aren't even allowed in their moms room now. I told her, Good, you have your own room.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again, the longer a parent takes to weening the child out off co-sleeping, the harder it gets.

My SS and my BS should be used as a case study for this

DW and I weened BS off of co-sleeping when he was about 2.

SS was around 9 before DW started forcing him to sleep in his own bed and stay there all night (at my insistance).

Flash forward to present day

BS is now 5 and goes to bed by himself and stays in his bed the entire night. No issues. Oh there will be the odd time where he is sick and had a bad dream and will need one of us to lay down with him for comfort. That happens maybe - oh - I'd say 2 or three times a year.

SS on the other hand? This kid is now 15 and he still cannot go to sleep on his own. He needs some kind of reasurance/comfort. He needs night lights (yes plural), and someone to tuck him in and say goodnight, an iPod to listen to music, etc. Last year on our camping trip, he had to sleep in the same tent as us.

That's another thing. I hate going anywhere with SS that involves a sleepover because I know there is going to be drama/issues.

I know some parents like co-sleeping, but I for one think it is stupid.

Sleeping with your teenager. :jawdrop: and with your new spouse. :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

And we thought the daughter/dad dance was inappropriate.

We had some problems getting BS3 to sleep in his own bed for awhile but it's a little bit more understandble at 3. When he starts freaking out at 2am sometimes we would let him in bed with us just as the fastest solution as we were sleeping ourselves. We've broken that habit though, if he comes into our room in the middle of the night he sleeps on the floor.

I get up for work at 5am and DH and BS get up at 9. Sometimes BS3 takes my spot in the bed after I leave and my DH lets him do that.

BM let SD11 sleep with her from age 6-9. OMG it was so horrible at our house because she couldn't sleep on her own and there was no way in hell she was allowed into our bed. I suspect she let SS12 sleep with her too... he had to drop out of boyscouts because he was too scared to go to boyscout camp. Couldn't even sleep over a friends house for the longest time because he 'missed his mommy too much'.

Some cultures cosleep quite a bit though... but I think in American society all it does is mess the kid up.

Its interesting when you have friends with kids with exes and watching what they feel is the right thing to do is...I have a friend whose ex has his kid every weekend (or did for the first 8/9 yrs) and my friend has been trying to get her ex to parent exactly as she wants. It must be very very difficult to coparent with a person whose values do not match your own but as I keep telling her, it
it is not her respomsibility to ensure her dd has the best dad, that is HIS responsibility. In her defence her ex does some piss poor parenting and I dont blame friend for trying to prevent some of his choices - allowing her dd to eat junk all weekend resulting in several cavities (sp?) and horrendous bedtime routine resulting in a nightmare backlash then for friend - but she has to learn to let go of the lesser problems, let him tank and stop trying to control every little thing. It only causes anamosity and while it can be hard to determine what are the main problems and focusing on them, thats what you have to do imo!

Is it harsh though to say " I dont think we can afford that.."? Its realistic. My parents were realists and while treated us in an age appropriate manner, they also had a certain set of expectations from us. Helping out, considering each other (gift buying and empathy) but also realising that we cant nor should get everything we wanted. Each xmas my parents would manage our expectations over the things we would like and would tell us if x item was unachievable. They always prioritised paying bills, necessities and family/quality time vs buying toys, toys, more toys, electronics...oh and my brother and I had to sometimes share key expensive items e.g. one of the first computers...while my ss, who had a DS wanted another one just for our home so he wanted TWO and because x friend at school had two (as his parents werent together) why couldnt he?! :jawdrop:

I always did try and empathise with our bm, and although I have no bio kids myself, I do think it must be very difficult to divide your childs time between two homes for a multitude of reasons. That empathy has loooong since been extinguished because youcant be amicable with crazy and someone who cant see further than HER needs. I do believe many of these parents deliberately avoid teaching their children independance and respect to ensure they are reliant on them, to control them (not in every case) but so many do. Having to take your child to therapy because they are struggling with seperation anxiety over an issue created by the parent is just fkd up. Surely its the wrong person getting therapy?! The parent needs it too!