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IrrelevantMe's Update - THANK YOU

Irrelevantme's picture

Thank you to everyone who took the time out to offer me some perspective on my situation from yesterday regarding my SO and his kids. I thought long and hard and decided that I didn't want to bring in 2015 with a man who ignores me or kids who are sanctioned to do the same. I gave him two weeks to move out and find a place of his own. I spend most of the day reading the stories on this site. Many of them could have been written by me. Without knowing my backstory, you all nailed my situation to a tee!

I decided that I didn't want to be on this site for years complaining and lamenting about a situation that from what I can tell gets worse before it gets better. I don't have that kind of time, energy or inclination. I deserve a man who knows how to parent, communicate and respect me. I own my own home. I have a successful career and can have any man I want. ALL of his friends have said at one time or another "damn.. how did you snag her?" All of my friends have said "you can do way better" But when STRANGERS said it on this site without knowing anything? Something just clicked. I feel like a brick was lifted off of my shoulders.

I sat him down and read him every single one of your responses to my post. Thank you all for calling him a douche. Mr. Massengill sat there dumbfounded. I felt like I had a posse!! So thank you. Your advice was exactly the confirmation and motivation that I needed. Happy New Year to you all.

PS.. I hope that it's okay if I come back on here should I need more advice on how to expedite his departure should he start dragging his feet. }:)

Comments

hereiam's picture

I think you made the right decision and will be much happier for it.

He absolutely might try dragging his feet or get you to change your mind when the time to leave is near; claiming that he will change, things will be different, blah, blah, blah (that will be his fear of being alone talking).

And your posse will be right here for you!

Irrelevantme's picture

Yes!! Free is exactly how I feel. Mr. Massengill can figure out his life with his kids on his own. I'm calling California Closets this morning to have them come out and give me an estimate on turning the spare bedroom that the girls shared into my dream closet!

Irrelevantme's picture

I would have never moved him in with my mother and I. She came to live with me after my father passed away and he was already there. He had his own place when I met him. I see now though that I was a major step up in every sense of the word. He went from an apartment to my BRAND NEW house. Honestly, looking back, I know he used me to show his ex how he "came up."

I will miss the kids though. But seriously? I've only known them for a little under three years. I managed just fine before ever laying eyes on them and I'm pretty certain I'll survive Smile

Irrelevantme's picture

While I would like to believe that I "socked to him", I think Mr. Massengill was ready to leave and relieved! He was tired of me shinging a glaring light on his shortcomings as a father and man. He was also tired of me pointing out that he was BM's bitch. Now he can be her bitch in peace.

Irrelevantme's picture

Nah. She's not dumb. She got the house, the kids and HER freedom. She wouldn't take him back under any circumstance. She left his ass when the youngest was just a baby. You have to be really fed up to get rid of your husband with a 4 year old and an infant. She's no dummy and I can't say that I blame her. I only had him for 2+ years. She dealt with him for 10. She's on boyfriend #2, living her single life and enjoying her child free every other weekend and alternating holidays with a monthly infusion of court ordered child support. And I say - Good for her!

DaizyDuke's picture

Good for you for not dragging out your misery. If DH and I weren't married, or if skids were much younger, I certainly would have left him by now due to skid and BM nonsense.

Happy New Year, Happy New YOU! Biggrin

CBCharlotte's picture

Congrats. Well, it sounds weird to say "Congrats" on ending a relationship that at one point was positive and you cared about. Maybe I should say I'm glad that you are taking steps to protect YOU. YOU deserve a happy life full of love and respect.

misSTEP's picture

What Daizy said. Good for you for not prolonging the inevitable. You have gained so many years of your life by cutting it off NOW.

Teas83's picture

I'm very happy for you and I'm glad you're getting out now. I wish I had done the same earlier on.