OT- Bullying
I have not dealt with much of this in my own life, or the lives of my children. I do remember in grade school, my oldest sister was "known" for being a bully. I just knew her as my sister. She was very tall for her age (6'2" now) and she defended her baby sisters to the ends of the earth (there were 3 of us younger than her at the time). But I never thought her a "bully". Although, I am 7 years younger than her, didn't ever go to the same school as her and have absolutely no idea what she was like as a student or classmate.
Anyway, last year a young boy in our community shot and killed himself as a result of being bullied. He was a cheerleader and a gymnast and was often called "gay" and apparently couldn't handle it anymore, and took his own life in a little cafe, in the middle of the day, in front of a diner full of strangers. 
heartbreaking. My oldest daughter knew him, but wasn't close to him. She attended his memorial at the school, to support her friends that were saddened by his death.
More recently, we were sitting at the dining room table. My DD11 is telling me about the boy she mentors that is in the 2nd grade. She tells me that he is a bully and he is very mean to the other kids, but she has been able to soften him up a bit, and got him to open up about WHY he is like that. Turns out his father hits him, she noted visible bruises on his arms. I instructed her to speak with the teacher the very next day so they could help the boy. She did so. I am unsure of what that led to. She says he is still in school, and seems very happy. She now considers him a friend and is proud of herself for helping him.
My oldest daughter comes home yesterday telling me that there is a new girl in school, she is in Jr High. This girl happens to be from Africa. North Africa, she wasn't sure exactly where. She tells me that people are very mean to her and tell her to get out of their school they don't want "Ebola".
I just don't get it. Kids are so cruel. I don't remember kids being like this when I was younger. Maybe I was oblivious. Naive? I don't know. It breaks my heart though. Where are these kids parents? I make certain to talk to my kids about this topic often, because it is so common anymore. I tell them that you never know what another person has going on in their personal life. And you would never want to be the person to push a person that is hurting, right over the edge. I dunno, why this is weighing on my heart today. But it is. People suck, and it starts at such a young age.
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It breaks my heart. When I
It breaks my heart. When I see bullying portrayed in movies or on tv shows, I can't help but think to myself "is this for real? Do things like this REALLY happen?". But they do, and so much worse sometimes. I just don't understand.
I agree. Social media has
I agree. Social media has made it 10-times worse.
There is also the "ostrich in the sand" stance that many schools take.
Recently a journalist was on the radio saying he wanted to do a report on bullying in our high schools. ALL the schools turned down his request to interview students and teachers.
Believe it or not, I actually had a memorable experience with bullying. I was being picked on for the crime of being a geek. Well one day I pushed back. Started a fight and wrestled my foe to standstill. The kid I wrestled said I should join the wrestling team. I tried out, did a couple circuits but I had to quit because of scheduling conflicts.
Never was bullied again though....
See, that's a whole other
See, that's a whole other side to it. My family is very sarcastic, so I think maybe that has a bit to do with my obliviousness. I always assume people are kidding before I assume they are being mean. This could have been happening in front of my face and I wouldn't have known. If some kid got their little feelings hurt, it's possible I just thought to myself "what a pansy" and went on with my day and never considered it anymore than banter. There is obvious and blatant bullying, but I also believe a lot of this times things are blown out of proportion with overly sensitive whistle blowers. What a crazy time to grow up in. To be unsure if you can give your good friend a hard time about walking out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to their shoe. Is that bullying? Some people may say yes...
That is terrible.
That is terrible.
Dtzy...I LOL'd at "Corey
Dtzy...I LOL'd at "Corey boy"... Now, ones dead, and one is a really bad version of Michael Jackson.
Shows you how much of a microcosm high school is, and how now we look back at how unimportant all that bs really was.
I moved a lot as a kid so I
I moved a lot as a kid so I always had to go through the "new girl" thing. It's hard, kids can be mean and I think now with the social media it's a hundred times worse. Some people won't bully in person but they don't have a problem hiding behind that keyboard and being mean. It's sad. If I ever catch my grandkids being a bully they will not like grandma anymore!!
I wasn't bullied, but I was
I wasn't bullied, but I was made fun of quite a bit when I was very young. I was always shy, so that didn't help me learn how to socialize. What OP described does not sound unusual or new.
I did experience sexual harassment/abuse as a freshman in high school. I was too shy, and unsure of the situation to report it to anyone. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially young like I was. I will definitely be keeping an eye on my boys to make sure they stay polite and treat others well.
When I was in second grade, there was a boy in our class that had a limp, and worse some sort of leg brace. The class was very cruel to him. I don't remember what was actually said, but I do remember he was sent to the office one day, and when he left the room, the teacher yelled at our whole class. She was livid, and made the whole class put our heads down on our desks with the lights off for 20 minutes. I'm FB friends with this boy now (boy, ha!) and am relieved to see he appears very happy. He's writes all of his his statuses using exclamation points, and is constantly posting pictures of himself meeting celebrities at movie screenings.
I was bullied as a kid, by
I was bullied as a kid, by the same group of people from elementary through Jr High/HS.
I have big ears and they used to call me rat girl, because I also had a pet rat. STILL to this day, I am self conscience about wearing my hair pulled back and earrings.
I was also very thin growing up, so people would always call me aneroxic.
It was REALLY hard on me growing up because some kids were just so cruel. And even at times, my own friends would be awful. I swear tween/teenage girls are the worse.
I grew up in a small town and I still see some of these people and I just look at them with pity. Sad. Most of them havent changed and are still bullies, even as adults in their 30s.
I accounted a bully at work. Yes at work. As a grown up. This lady was so 2 faced and if you didnt do what she wanted (go to the lunch place she picked out, not like someone else in our work group, not give the exact cake she wanted for a co workers birthday) she would be mean to you. She would always pick 1 person in the group and be mad at them for whatever reason and then try to turn the rest of the group against you.
I go to work, to work and not be invovled in drama, so I was able to avoid it for the most part, until I became her target. She was AWFUL to me. I would come into work and come to my desk and she sat behind me and she would say "Smells like fish in here." Seriously what are we 12? She would try to stare me down and try to engage me in battles. I just ignored her 100%. I never gave her the sastification. She eventually got fired for being mean to someone one. Karma.
I always talk to my son about bullying. Thankfully he is had a lot of empathy and is really a nice kid. I still talk to him about being nice to others and not picking on them.
SD15 is a bully.
Oh I was bullied for most of
Oh I was bullied for most of my life up until HS. I was freakishly tall for my age, skinny as a pencil, flat chested like a wall, had an overbite, wore THICK glasses, have a big forehead and was incredibly clumsy. I was tormented thru out elementary and middle school on a daily basis. They even made a song up about me and would sing it every time I walked by. They'd throw sticks at me and tell me to "Fetch." I would cry in my room for hours. Eventually, I started getting violent and anytime anyone would pick on me I'd fight. I was constantly fighting and getting in trouble in school because of the bullying. Eventually, it stopped. Nowadays, I don't take shit from anyone.
These days, kids are WAY too sensitive and it is our job to explain to children from an early age that when you are made fun of, it is because there is something about you that intimidates the others. These kids killing themselves is because they aren't taught coping skills. We need to TALK to our kids, all the time. Over and over and over. SOME of it will stick.