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Feeling despondent today

blending2012's picture

Submitted by blending2012 on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 5:01pm

So, yesterday was my birthday. I had to work during the day, but that night DH made a lovely dinner, and bought a birthday cake. His little two and my two were so friggin' AWESOME. Just being sweet and giving me various home made gifts. But AGAIN the oldest SD age 11 was a total nightmare. She complained about the dinner, sulked off to her room after - and then DH had to drag her back out to sing Happy Birthday to me. Just picture this my friends, the younger four all smiling and singing and oldest SD just sitting in a chair, arms folded across her chest just GLARING at us all. Just glaring....

Sigh... I knew that blending our two families would be a huge task but I never imagined that we would get sooooo close to being successful with only ONE of the five kids just making my life AWFUL.

Of course, when I tried to talk to DH about it later he explained that SD11 just "didn't like the cake I picked".

I get a vision of years to come with me having to endure this horrible, horrible person and him making excuses for her and I just get so depressed. I think... what have I gotten myself into?

The thing is, my kids LOVE his younger two kids. They all go to school together and share rooms and it's just friggin' AWESOME. At least once a week my oldest son tells me how he loves our new house, loves his new school. My DH has a wonderful relationship with my sons - they are all really sweet together. And I am very close with his younger two. But this oldest SD - I mean go back and look at all my blogs - they are all about HER and I have 5 kids living here!

Sorry to be such a bummer, but I feel like you guys would at least be able to feel my pain Sad

Comments

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 5:29pm

Happy Birthday!!! Sorry SD11 ruined it for you. And my SD14 never got better. She's the ultimate sulking queen! Arms folded, bottom lip out, eyes at the floor. OH WOE IS ME look on her face. She makes me ill.

Sorry that you're dealing with it too. NOT fun, at all.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 5:45pm

We had issues from 11 to 15. Sad

Most weekends, she was lucky if she didn't go home in her book-bag.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 5:58pm

Trust me, there were times I looked at my flower beds with the thought "I bet I could hide her body beneath my irises."

The attitude started fading after she got closer to 16. Now at 17, she's realizing that she really screwed up 4 years ago and is trying to make amends with her father.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 7:05pm

I refuse to let ANYONE spoil my day (apart from dying or something). Why let an 11 yr old exhibit so much power over your birthday? Were your expectations that she have a change of heart and become all sunshine and rainbows? Because that will NOT happen anytime soon.

So why not just ignore her behaviour? Fully expect her to be sulky and snotty. Ask her father to speak to her about it and take pictures of the group ALL.THE.TIME. Because then you can get cheap blow ups of them with Miss Snot being all prissy and sulky and then you can just laugh at her. That is what I would do.

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 9:17pm

agreed. i would have told him to leave the brat in her room. if she doesn't want to participate, who cares? no one needs that on their bday or any other day.

StepDoormat's picture

Submitted by StepDoormat on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 7:14pm

Your DH said it was "just because she didn't like the cake he picked"? Fuck that. My DH would have told that little brat to go to her room, not eat any cake, and made her crappy ass apologize the next day. Whether it was because she didn't like the cake, YOU, or the fact that attention was on someone else other than her- it doesn't matter. Small red flags now... but your husband making excuses for her ruining your day is never a good thing. Trust me.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 8:51pm

Happy birthday!! Sorry to hear that SD11 had to act like a troll on your birthday :/ Every year that SO and I are together, I thank my lucky stars that we have never had SD on my birthday weekend. I'm sort of crossing my fingers that she decides to never move out here with us because then I will never have to deal with her crotchety behavior on my bday. Because let me tell you. SD was a pain in the rump when she was 11, and she's worse now that she's 13. You'd think she invented life itself with how she expects the world to revolve around her.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 9:18pm

SD11 just "didn't like the cake I picked

SD11 would be getting that very same kind of cake every year for her own birthday.

Happy Birthday, by the way! Smile

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:12am

Happy Birthday. I could have written this post. Sometimes it only takes one to make you wonder if it's worth it.

blending2012's picture

Submitted by blending2012 on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 12:15pm

HungryEyes, I just read your blogs and YES we are very similar! 5 kids between us and mine are BOYS. Boys, boys, glorious boys. I have two SDs (and one SS) but the oldest SD is the only one who is the thorn in my side. From your blogs, I can't tell if you all live together? If you don't - ummmm.... you may want to stay put. I'd love to say it gets better but it's gotten A ZILLION times worse since we moved in together in July.