Because YOU cause it to happen, SD. YOU are the reason for all of your problems. No one else but you.

This has become a familiar refrain in our house, especially the past week.

I'm beginning to suspect that SD has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It is not just with me, but with any authority figure. I know she fights DW on everything, and I've heard recently about how poorly behaved she has been for her soon-to-be new stepmother. The only one we rarely hear about her poor behavior from is BioDad, because he doesn't care. He lets her do whatever she wants. I hate to say this, but at 8 years old, the kid is a screw up. I don't think it will get better, and will probably get worse.

DW is taking a class during the week up through the end of this month, which means on Monday nights I've been picking up both BS3 and SD8 from school. We've done this before and while I don't love it, I do it for DW. BS3 is always happy to see me, and the kid is generally pretty good and in a good mood most of the time. SD8 greets me with "When is mom coming home?" or "Why are YOU picking me up?" It used to bother me, now I don't care. I just answer calmly and don't let her draw me in to her negative bullshit. She has a "morning" and "nighttime" checklist on her wall of things she is required to do. It has been there for a year. The night DW had class I asked her before bed if she had done her checklist. She says yes. I then ask her about a couple specific items on the checklist and if she did them. She sheepishly says no. Lied to my face. Again. I make her do those things and tell her she's not getting a story because she lied to me again. Oh man, the screaming, crying and foaming at the mouth that happened after her being informed that she would have to suffer some consequences for lying were TREMENDOUS. I just left and eventually she went to sleep.

Every night she bitched and complained about something. Had to do homework? Bitching. Took to long doing homework so now she has to take a shower instead of a bath? Bitching. Is asked to do something simple like put her shoes away? Bitching. Both DW and I had it with her this week. My solution was pretty much just to stay away from her. DW did not have that luxury. We have chores in place for both BS3 and SD8 that they must do on either a daily or weekly basis. BS3 is very helpful and doesn't complain. He does things quickly and gets back to what he was doing before. SD8 is a bitching, whining, slow-ass when it comes to chores. Often times she'll cry. This weekend was no different.

One of SD's chores is to do her laundry. Last time she was over DW had done SD's laundry and put it on her bed for SD to put away. SD puts some of it away (read: thrown in closet), and the rest are left in the hamper on the floor. During the course of the week SD continues to throw dirty clothes, wet towels, etc on top of the clean stuff. So this weekend she is made to wash ALL of the clothes in the hamper. Oh man, the bitching was LEGENDARY. "Why do I have to clean all of this? The clothes on the bottom were clean!" DW explains to SD that it is her own fault for throwing dirty/wet clothes on top of the clean ones. So... it takes all day for SD's laundry to finish. Clothes are clean, I make SD take them to her room and tell her to put them away. "But WHYYYYYYYY? Can't I just take them out of my basket when I want to wear them?" I ask her if she remembers what she was complaining about just a few hours ago. Silence. I tell her again to put it away. "But that isn't one of my chores!!!" I tell her that "do your laundry" includes putting it away. Silence again. DW comes in and tells her to put them away. SD continues the bitch storm. DW put her foot down. About 10 minutes later SD says she is done - too soon for her to have folded and/or hung up everything that needed to be done. DW asks her: "Did you fold everything nicely in your drawers and hang up your shirts and dresses?" SD replies yes and then runs back to her room. (Note: she just lied to her mother's face). Next thing we know we hear SD screaming and crying in her bedroom. DW rolls her eyes and goes to check on SD. SD has pulled all her clothes out of the closet and thrown them all over her floor and is sitting there crying as LOUD as possible so we will hear. DW wasn't having it. She went off on SD. I haven't seen DW that mad in a LONG time. Eventually SD shut up and actually folded her clothes and put them away nicely. She didn't get to play, take a bath, or get a story though because of her piss poor behavior. Something that she could have finished in half an hour turned into 3+ hours filled with bitching, fake crying and DW yelling at her. And she didn't finish, but it was late.

Sunday rolls around. SD is directed by DW after breakfast to go back to her room and finish putting the clothes away. Gives DW a bad attitude again. DW then hears SD8 playing with a snow-globe music box that is in her room instead of putting clothes away. This is a gift that DW gave to SD8 and has a lot of sentimental meaning behind it. I'm sure you can tell where this is going... Anyway, DW has told her 100s of times not to play with it. Just to wind it - not pick it up. DW went in there again and found SD holding it, and again told her not to pick it up. During the course of an hour, DW tells SD the SAME thing at least 3 times. I go into BS's room to fix some carpet nails that are sticking up, and the next thing I know I hear CRASH! Breaking glass. Followed by the sound of SD screaming "No! No! No! No! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

DW was LIVID. SD admits she was picking it up and turning it around in her hands. Dropped it and it shattered. Glass, water and sparkles everywhere. So DW has to pick it all up, clean it up, etc. DW was so mad, I took BS3 and we went for a walk to the park. When we got back an hour later, SD was STILL crying.

DW is very upset. SD just refuses to listen to adults. She's told not to do something REPEATEDLY and she does it again. She's been grounded, had things taken away, made to sit in the corner, etc. It's like she can't help herself.

The best part is her screaming after this while crying "Why does this always happen to MEEEEEEEE!?!? Why does I always get in bad trouble?!?!?"

Again, SD, nobody's fault but your own.

She was pestering DW to buy her another one later on, and DW lost it again. She basically told SD she wasn't buying her anything else EVER until SD can prove to us that she can take care of her things.

Oh man. It was really something this weekend. All I can do is shake my head.