Independence/Dependence Day Celebrations
The park in the neighboring town is having fireworks for the July 4th celebrations. The fireworks display is at 8:30. Usually, the fireworks last for about 15 minutes.
With me so far?
Good.
DW made a post on FB stating that she is really looking forward to it as it is BD’s first time going. Well SS (who is at his Dad’s for most of the summer) saw the post and commented “Can I come to?”
“Ask your Dad” was all DW commented back.
Within an hour SS answers “Dad says I can go!”
However, there were – how should I put this? – “typical Donkeykong stipulations”
Donkeykong sends us an email stating that if we want to take SS for July 4th, we can since they have no plans, but we are “eating into his custody time”. So in order to have the Prince of Failures grace us with his presence we have to appease his father; the self-proclaimed God of Dickheads, by doing the following;
* Pick up SS from Donkeykong’s place “when he finishes his chores” (which if you have read any of my blogs, SS doesn’t do any of his assigned chores unless a parent is strapped to his back and whipping his buttocks with a bamboo stick)
* have him back home for 9:00pm.
Bear in mind that travel between our homes takes about a half hour. Re-read the first sentence of my blog and do the math.
Still with me?
Awesome.
So DW showed me the email, I read it, laughed and said. “Nope.”
DW asked why. I explain to her the reason (as I have just explained to you dear reader), and it dawns on DW that this is very unrealistic. There is no point in trying to reach a compromise with Donkeykong either since Donkeykong’s methodology towards reaching a compromise is “it’s my way or the highway”.
“So what do we do?” DW asks.
I tell DW to do nothing. We’ll go to the fireworks without SS. It won’t kill him. If SS really wants to come, let him fight with his Dad. And besides, why should we go out of our way to include him on our little excursion? So that he can play on his iPad at the park instead of playing on his iPad on his father’s couch? Eff that!
DW on the other hand, will move heaven and earth to have more custody time with SS and wants to go get him. Her plan is to take her car, go get him. Meet me, BS and BD at the park for an hour and then leave to drop SS back just after the fireworks start.
*blink*
*blink*
I was fuming all evening yesterday. This morning, as I write this, I really don’t care anymore. She’s the one doing all the driving anyways. The kids will be happy to see SS. DW will be happy that everyone is together for the <1hr that SS is with us.
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Oh man Draco.... I stopped
Oh man Draco.... I stopped reading at "Prince of Failures" because that shit is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!
DW made a post on FB stating
DW made a post on FB stating that she is really looking forward to it as it is BD’s first time going
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I know it was a no brainer, but did you explain to her that she would not be able to enjoy her DD if she takes SS home when the fireworks start?
Do your kids get put on the back burner a lot for SS?
Good question. When SS is not
Good question.
When SS is not with us, DW does a lot for BS and BD. She plays with them, takes them out, buys them ice cream, etc. The moment SS pipes in, *SUDDENLY* DW feels the anguish of a 1000 pangs of guilt and she tries to accomodate him - and yes - sometimes at the expense of BS and BD.
In other words, had SS not expressed a wish to go, DW would have been there 110% to make this moment extremelly memorable. Now that SS is going to come, sit on his duff to play on his iPad and bug his Mom to go buy him some overpriced ice cream/soda pop, I don't really see this event being memorable.
This sounds exactly like how
This sounds exactly like how DH used to be when SD still graced him (us) with her presence. My favorite (extreme sarcasm) example was the Father's Day when DH didn't see our two BDs at all but spent the entire day with SD instead. Driving here, driving there, catering to her and appeasing BM, so when it came time to do our plans (dinner out with my father and DH and the family) he was too tired and mad from dealing with BM and took it out on me and didn't even show up to dinner. He saw our BDs for about 15 minutes before bedtime.
This would bother me as well, but like you I would probably let it go. DW is putting SS's desire to see the fireworks (what little he will see) above BD seeing them for the first time. It is a telling choice.
Yeah, I have to agree with
Yeah, I have to agree with this Draco....how long do you plan on staying quiet while your DW keeps favoring the Prince of Failures, regardless of how tall he is?
And how do you think your bios are going to react down the road when they are old enough to recognize the obvious favortism?
Your DW makes me mad....it's so HARD to find a decent guy and she poops all over your relationship with her emotional enmeshment with your SS.
I dunno Darkstar. I try not
I dunno Darkstar. I try not to think about it too much I guess. Already BS and BD are showing much more skills at figuring stuff out than SS ever has, so I am confident that they will grow up to surpass SS in every way. Heck, I am convinced BS will graduate HS before SS does! LOL
Your not alone, my SO used to
Your not alone, my SO used to do that kinda of crap for his kids too. All they had to do was ask. He always said if his kids want to see him, he will drop any plans he has to spend more time with them...and he did. So glad those days are over! Well, maybe not completely over, but now if he wants to run off after them, I just stay home or make other plans and let him do it.
You too, eh? Chef Boyardumb
You too, eh? Chef Boyardumb used to turn on a dime whenever the Amazon decided to dump the children with 5 min notice
And at that time we lived 45min away (one way)
* have him back home for
* have him back home for 9:00pm.
do you live in Alaska or some place strange, because around these parts, it doesn't even get dark until after 9 p.m. so any fireworks don't even START until 9:30 p.m. :? So WTF is the point of picking SS up, if he has to leave as soon as the fireworks start?
Your DW and Donkeydick seem to have some serious cerebral issues.
Really? By 8:30 it is pretty
Really? By 8:30 it is pretty dark but we have lots of hills. The schedule says 8:30 but in the past, the fireworks display usually starts 5 to 10 minutes later than scheduled.
I wished I thought of that. I
I wished I thought of that. I was too hung up on DW doing all this driving just to have a kid play on his iPad in the park instead of at his Dad's. It just doesn't make any sense to bend over backwards to get someone to attend who is not even going to appreciate the event. If SS actually loves fireworks and flag waving, I would be all for it, but SS really doesn't give a sh*t. In fact I know what is going to happen. He's gonna show up, cling to his mother the whole time and then bug her to buy him something from some of the on-site vendors and then sit on his duff to play video games and ignore everything around him.
I can't believe she's really
I can't believe she's really planning to stick to the return time.
I would pick him up as planned and just drop him off between 9:15-9:30. Or later depending on traffic.
That is probably what will
That is probably what will end up happening. DW is just not good at keeping track of time (or estimating how much time some task will take).
Meh.
Like I said, I really don't care at this point. If she is late in dropping off SS, Donkeykong is going to remember it and just deny SS seeing us for July 4th next year.
after she leaves w/ ss, take
after she leaves w/ ss, take some pics of BD's gleeful joy, then post it on facebook w/o saying a word to her about it.
passive-agressive, yes. but she needs to feel some healthy guilt over shafting her youngest child.
I love this. Don't forget the
I love this. Don't forget the comment BD first fireworks. I agree it may be passive aggressive but a picture says a 1000 words. }:)
I was planning on doing that
I was planning on doing that anyways. Not as a passive-agressive tactic but to capture the moment. BD is actually really excited about it. She keeps asking
"We see Fiwerwooks now?"
July 10th will have a new set
July 10th will have a new set of fireworks!
I think on some level SS
I think on some level SS *knows* DW is at his beck and call but he's also emotionally enmeshed with DW as much (if not more) than she is with him. It really makes me wonder though if I ever could convince DW to let SS stay at his father's for the entirety of his custody time there. Would both DW and SS explode?
However, what I am really wondering is if my comment on the "playing the iPad in the park instead of at his Dad's" will sink in.
How about SKYPE ing the
How about SKYPE ing the fireworks?
1. Its not like SS will look up from his ipad anyway
2. He may block the others view should he attend
I would do a mobile skype and tell SS it is because of donkeykongs extreme time limits
Make sure you get plenty of shots of the overpriced ice cream
Don't know if you meant that
Don't know if you meant that to be sarcastic (I didn't see the sarcasm tags) but that's actually not a bad idea!
Totally serious.
Totally serious.