The older I get, the more set in my ways I become. Dealing with unplanned or unexpected changes just throws my entire system out of whack. I woke up this morning thinking about how calm day to day life is now.

Disengaging was the biggest factor in changing from the hectic, constantly disruptive, emotional turmoil of life with the steps to the calmness of now. Disengaging in two main areas.

Disengaging my own 1950's upbringing that left me with the idea that I as a female was responsible for "saving" the less fortunate children at any cost. This was my ideal world in my mind. I expected the end result to be some form of appreciation from both the children and their parent. At the time it did not occur to me that it was not my right to "save" these children. They were never mine to save. My standards of acceptable living conditions were not their parents standards. [ Honey Boo Boo life and Pregnant at 16 is the standard ] If they the parents, children and grandchildren noticed nothing lacking in life, it was not my situation to point out or correct.

After disengaging from my own upbringing and personal beliefs, I could then disengage from the actual step children and grandchildren in every way. Physically and emotionally. It took some time to get over the hurt of no appreciation for several years of stepping in to raise step grandchildren when their parent's life was in turmoil. It took several years to get over feeling hurt when the children never returned for a visit. It has been 10 years and life moves on.

Life is calm here on the home front. Life is consistent. Spring is here, flowers are starting to come up. Friday is garage sale day. The social security check comes in same amount and same day every month. Dh will drive 3 hours to visit his children and grandchildren for 3 days in Dec. We will plant a garden as we do every spring. Dentist appointments every 6 months, My children will visit with the grandchildren during the summer. DH's children will not. Nothing unexpected, nothing unplanned, nothing to throw the whole system out of whack.