I need some thoughts please. Any advice welcome.. Here's the picture. I was married for a very long time..had one bd now 21. Left my now ex husband for a man I thought was the love of my life.very different from my husband. Uneducated, rough, no financial security. Four kids, one kid living with him. Whack doodle ex, on drugs. She was nice to me at first then turned, threatened me physically. Now we have nothing to do with her directly all done through a mediator. The love of my life has severe problems with the son who lives with him due to abandonment issues by his mother. I give my all to try and help the son, financially and with his education. Do what I can for the other kids. Generally take the mother role but our differing parenting styles/beliefs and upbringing causes clashes between the SO and I.SO is a professional sportsman. Takes a ton of steroids. Is agressive and snappy anyway but is now off the scale. Over reacts to everything. Talks to me like I'm shit. Undermines me. Saps my confidence. He's verbally very agressive, cruel and nasty, rest of the time is lovely. We have moments of pure bliss but mostly turmoil and on a roller coaster, cannot make him seem my point of view on anything. Huge arguments about the ss who is now taking drugs himself, stealing and truanting school. Also has a bail charge hanging over him. His father constantly indulges and tries to buy the kids affection kid could not give a shit.
My worst fault ..I cannot let go. I try to hammer my point home and I won't let go cos he never understands..so I keep,trying..and then he explodes.he very much sees everything from his own viewpoint . I'm so hurt most of the time..I'm trying to make him see..so I carry on trying to talk . He sees it as nagging. He's asked me to marry him.. I know you're laughing at this point! I love him so much but I can't put up with it all..oh added to this my daughter in the middle of this breaks her leg and then loses the sight in one eye due to her diabetes. I don't know know what to do