Does your h pick fights when going to skidville?
Are they feeling resentful bc of your disengagement?
Are they feeling guilty bc skid was abusive to you since day one?
Are they hurt bc they are the only ones in your home that can stand them?
H knows damn good and well I will not be helping Sd move. He knows As far as I'm concerned Ed burnt the bridge last year when she was such a bixch about her wedding.
SD is short handed for moving. H is dragging my son and our dd with him.
After making a remark that son sounds "loaded".
Son gets a's and b's has never been in any kind of trouble at all and does sports at school and cuts grass and other odd jobs to make money. Everyone knows him thinks he's a great kid.
SD is the one who ditched school and brought weed into our house but he has to be all over my son while mini wife almost as bad as Kota was not parented by either mom or dad.
I always had to keep my mouth shut while h would drop her off at her boyfriends house(she was only 15)to spend the day with NO parents!
BM at this time let her get her tongue pierced.
Gross!
But I apparently have no clue how to parent my kids who are well mannered and delightful to be around-usually.
I have not been to parenting class like they were so they are experts.
What planet do these disordered people come from?
Just kind of pissed right now and needed to vent.
Thanks
Replies welcomed
Gaaaah!
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KTQ not Kota Using dinky
KTQ not Kota
Using dinky phone begpardon
I can relate with you on so
I can relate with you on so many levels. No parenting classes for me, either. My DH and BM had them and wow, who would know??
It's all the things they
It's all the things they don't want to face, all the things that are just plain WRONG about the skids. Our 3 came out more than fantabulous compared to CTBB, it's in everyone's face to see. But still there's that.... denial? Coupled with the pissy attitude. Whatevs. MY kids turned out better than I could've hoped.
They just left. As usual, I
They just left. As usual, I found out at the last minute that BM is going to be there. He used to drag me around her after keeping me in the dark about whether or not BM would be around and at the last minute I was already committed and would be guilted into going.
BM and SD and their whole crew are just plain nasty-but under the radar. Even if it's overt, H never ever notices.
Found out this morning there are already 5 people helping over there. I wonder if H dragged the kids along so he wouldn't feel outnumbered, but he would never cop to that.
DD is only going to visit their dog. DS is only going to keep the peace, but he can't stand all these people and resents that we sometimes wind up having to do a herd party or something with them and we are expected to be all happy family when we go.
H said a few things last night that would cause a fight in the old days and I think this was intentional. I didn't take the bait though. I'm kind of disengaged now and it really doesn't hurt my feelings if he goes there. Just don't start shit because I refuse to go and be abused by all these people AND HIM because he is condoning it or participating in the abuse IMO because he just lets it go. I think he was kind of trying to start a fight so I would be all miserable here at home while they are gone. To punish me.
That's not how I roll anymore. I'll goof off here, watch old movies, do whatever I want in the peace and quiet.
As a rule, he has been a great father to my BS(biodad has never been in the picture)which a lot of men might not be able to do. Of course, it's easier for him because I won't let the kids disrespect him even if he has been a total AH.
But it really pisses me off sometimes when he's riding BS about all kinds of stuff when he didn't even parent Electra Barbie. After a couple of years he realized Electra Barbie was disrespecting him by calling him names and shitty attitude because MINE don't do that I suppose. It's always been okay for Electra Barbie to mow down anyone in her path but if she disrespects him it's on and there will be hell to pay!
I am so over this bullshit and so glad I came here and finally I don't feel like a total failure because sometimes I hated her and H for all their dysfunctional behavior. All these years I thought I was the problem. I'm not trying hard enough, I'm too sensitive, I don't like his daughter, blah, blah, blah all the usual crap they say to hang it all on our necks because they are too chickenshit to do the right thing or they like having everyone fight over them.
I won't fight over him. Anyone you have to fight over isn't worth it. I'm halfway disengaged from him too.
It's been a long fifteen years let me tell you.
Their idea of "let things go"
Their idea of "let things go" differs completely from our idea.
We might let things go, but disengage or not go the extra mile or avoid them or whatever not to be mean but for our own protection and sanity.
Their idea of "let things go" is to just keep on doing everything like we did before and pretend all this heinous behavior never even happened.
That's what mine expects me to do and he has accused me more than once of splitting up the family because I refuse to meet his ridiculous expectations anymore.
I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot he wouldn't have any of it for a second.
Whatever.
FTGs.
And they say how they are
And they say how they are really trying now-but that's only to trick us into going along with whatever the plan is. I think, deep down inside, they really know the truth that the other party is not really trying and they want to subject you to more abuse in order to punish you for being right and seeing things exactly how they are.
Remember, they are always right and they are rigid in their rightness to the point of being ridiculous.
For the record, SD is not a
For the record, SD is not a total washout. She really has her shit together as far as holding down a job and achieving her goals and her and SIL just bought a house. They both have good jobs and are responsible. In that way they are doing very well and if there wasn't so much bad blood spilled I would be very proud of her. But SD after all these years is still a lying manipulative game player and still trying to stir shit up between me and her dad. Just because she can. If you didn't know this about her you would think she's Superwoman because she really is doing well. AFAIK, she doesn't smoke weed anymore, just drinks once in a while which IMO isn't really a problem. She's free, white and over 21 as they say and she works hard.
I just wish she would quit her stupid petty little games, but after reading this forum, I'm afraid she will be like this all her life and H will never change either. He's a master manipulator in his own right and did the old bait and switch on me as soon as he could.
I tried to break up with him when we were first dating. He hadn't been divorced that long when we met. I felt like he wasn't ready, SD sure wasn't and it was going to be hell. He kept telling me everything would be fine and he would have my back. I didn't know exactly what he meant by have my back though. I didn't know it would be in the sense of restraining me so he and everyone else could stick the knife in without a struggle. I knew in my heart that I was right, but I wanted to believe him. Dummy.
^^^^^^^Yes! Yes!
^^^^^^^Yes! Yes! Yes!^^^^^^^
Me too. I don't do herd parties anymore. He can KMA.
Electra Barbie, that is
Electra Barbie, that is funny!