I don't know why I would have expected his mind to operate any differently...

We live pretty far away from all the family right now, as in a drive is not remotely an option to visit. However, DH travels a lot for work so he actually gets to see his side of the family every couple of months or so. This particular trip is pretty extended, so DD and I went with so I could see my family and not have colicky baby duty to myself for a month straight. During this visit, we will be spending a weekend with DH's side of the family so they can meet DD.

Now because the visit is a little long, we were trying to get a bunch of stuff done before we left and one of the things on the list was christening invitations. So, inevitably, DH asks if I'm "still ok" with inviting SD. I was never ok with it. So I tell him that based in her response to the invitation for Christmas, I'm not sure that DD's special event would be the best time for a family reunion with SD. He huffs and pouts.

So I tell him, well if you want her to meet DD, then invite her to the weekend we're having with your family and we'll see how that goes and then we can talk about inviting her to the christening.

"I don't want to do that."

Okie.... Why?

"I don't want her to have a meltdown at me in front of my whole family. She's going to make a scene because all the attention will be on DD and she just won't be able to handle that."

*blink blink*. And this is where I start to get pissed. Cause seriously, this 17 year old girl is going to have a full on tantrum because she's not the center of attention but that tantrum would be better at DD's Christening?! W.T.F. No. Just NO.

So I asked him if he wasn't ok with this meltdown happening if front of his (HER!) family, why did he think it was going to be okay for it to happen in front of our friends and My family? (There's no way his will show up to the ceremony which is another whole issue in itself.).

His justification is that he'd have her out for more like a whole week so that she Could be the center of attention but also come to understand that babies need a lot of time and care. I told him that was unlikely to really happen given all the visitors we already plan to have on the weeks either side of the event.

"But I have to keep extending invitations, it's the only chance of the relationship getting better."

Yea, okay, whatever, fine. I get it. But that doesn't mean you need to put your Other child's event on the sacrificial alter of SD. I would really like to have the events I can be as drama free as possible, be just good all around memories. I know things happen, but why invite drama, why make it 10k times more likely that there will be a problem?

I don't even know why this line of thinking surprised me. Of Course DH, lets invite the sibling that has displayed zero interest in her sister, is not even remotely religious, who is capable of epic meltdowns for not being the center of attention to an important religious event that will be All About her sister then Hope for a yippee-skippee happy day all around. So far he's going with my No. I wonder how many times he'll try to get me to cave beforehand. I'm pretty sure he tried to guilt me about it already but I didn't even really notice til way later so somehow I don't think that's going to work out for him.