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BM crying on my husband

heartpains's picture

BM came by to get SS early because her sister is really sick and on her last days and she wants to take SS to see her before its to late. I sympathize I'm not heartless. To my horror she runs up to my DH and clings to him in tears. First he shurged and shaked then he lifted her off of his chest. She asked him if he wanted to come see her sister. He told her no. She begged him. I know she is greiving but I'm not ok with her clinging to my husband. His phone buzzed in the middle of the night 4 times in a row then a text message popped up. He tells me its BM says she needs someone to talk to. He didn't respond. I feel bad for her but I think she needs to find someone else to talk to and cry on before we have problems.

Comments

hereiam's picture

It is sad that she's losing her sister but your DH is not her support system anymore. This is how some affairs, emotional &/or physical, start.

zerostepdrama's picture

Yeah she has to realize that DH is no longer her support.

When my Ex and I first split he would try to come to me for things like this and I just had to let him know, that our relationship was no longer like that. Yes I felt bad but I wasn't going to hold him while he cried or comfort him over the phone.

Lalena75's picture

Heartless or no I'd of pulled her off with enough force to put her on her ass, she can get her own man to cry on. Way inappropriate

heartpains's picture

She didn't tell him about his own son's death unti after the funeral :jawdrop: . Wow That is a new level of low. I feel sad after reading that.

Azure's picture

What what what what what????!!!!!! OMG that is the worst thing I can think of! WTF!!!!????? How did he keep from murdering her????

bellladonna's picture

I went thru something similar when BM's husband was murdered last year. She would turn to my husband for support all the time. You have to put a stop to this now. She has already taken it too far by clinging to your DH. I had to put a stop to all their contact all together. Put your foot down, this is not ok.

bellladonna's picture

I feel for you. I really do, because you are in a precarious situation. To everyone on the outside it will look like you are a heartless b***** in BM's time of need. I felt the same way. But it comes down to the simple fact that BM and her issues are not your problem and they are not DH's problem. The ONLY concern you have is your skid. And tell that to DH. If it does not pertain to skid then ignore it. When she starts calling YOU answer the phone. Every. Single. Time. You don't have to be rude, just make it darn near impossible for her to get to your DH. DH is not her support system, she needs to turn to her family and friends in this tragic time.

I told my DH from now on I will handle everything when it comes to BM. Everything goes through me, scheduling pick ups and drop offs, school, child support...EVERYTHING. She was pissed at first but there's nothing she can do about it. If she calls him, he immediately hands the phone to me. She has stopped calling him and now she texts me. This actually is working out better. Since I've taken over, we've been able to save money because she knows not to call and ask me for anything extra.

SituationalTourettes's picture

My FDH's ex likes to elicit sympathy for her many illnesses and surgeries and hypochondriacism. She knows better than to touch him however because any part of her that does, she isnt getting back.

I get she's sad but what, there are no other relatives or friends to cry to? This woman is NOT his wife nor is he her sister's brother in law. Find another therapist/grief counselor, lady.

stepmom321's picture

Definitely put a stop to it!!! Your DH needs to lay out some ground rules. I went through the same thing with my DH's ex. She would try to get him to take walks with her IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE so she could talk about her mother's gambling problem!!!