BM pulling a fast one on the family therapist
I don't understand WTH is going on. We pay for therapy (400.00 a month)for DH and his daughter. I have finally started going and BM has finally been phased out of the sessions and we were told by the therapist that he thought that SD was comfortable with us now that we could have normal visitation and take her out and have her for a whole day....but some how BM has told some sob story to the therapist and has got him wrapped around her little finger. The therapist agrees that we should have normal visitation with SD ASAP but BM has a major issue with that and now we have to be sensitive to her and her feelings. She is so hurt from things DH did to her 9 years ago she just can't let it go. When they were like 20 years old they got their own Apt and got engaged, DH had to work two jobs so he was never home. BM thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant and lied to DH. She confessed to DH sister in-law that she never changed her birth control patch because she was trying to get pregnant and had to trick DH because said he was to young to have kids. They continue to be off and on for a few years and go to counseling because she feels he abandoned her by working so much. Later on BM takes off and hides SD for 4 years. During that time DH and I get together and get married when we finally track down the BM we get a lawyer and to get visitation BM has the nerve to say the SD the birth father and wants a DNA test. Now BM claims they were not together at the time, so SD might not be his and demands a DNA test. Needless to say we agree to that since she might have been sleeping around and then the BM has the nerve to demand us to pay for the testing. Anyways DNA results came back and it is DH daughter as we thought, BM was just trying to be vicious and hurt him. To me saying that a child that you have loved for 9 years and have had to search for all over the US might not be your child just out of spite is the ultimate heart break. If anyone has the right to be hurt I think it is my DH. The therapist wouldn't even listen to DH's side of the story and just said we can't go tit for tat and she is hurt so we just have give her time to be ok with this. BM also has the nerve to say that she is confused on why we are even doing therapy or want to see SD and she is unsure of our motives and would only like him to be a weekend dad and then proceed to cancel the next session of therapy that we have...ughhhhhhhh..... So now we are right back to where we started, nowhere.
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I agree with tog. A CO will
I agree with tog. A CO will trump a therapist unless that too is in the CO. Find a new therapist one who works with personality disorders obviously BM has it in spades.
MY DH's daughter loves him
MY DH's daughter loves him and asks when we will be able to go out and do things. SD is 9 and so its not like she is a infant and needs BM constant care every few hours. We aren't even allowed to take her on a walk!!! The therapist said it would be a good idea for us to take her for a walk around his neighborhood and look at animals which sounded great but then the BM said she fears for her daughter and demanded the he accompany us on a 15 min walk around the block. We were told that this process needed to be fair for everyone, which we agree but this is ridiculous. We actually do have a court order that says that the therapist is allowed to increase or decrease sessions and that he is the one that will determine when we get to do actual visitation (not in his office), but when he tried to tell BM that SD is doing great and is bonded with us and that we are stable and safe people she flipped out and threatened to take him to court so now he wants to do everything on her terms and completely put us through the ringer. We were suppose to meet once a week now she only wants to meet twice a month and she says CO does not mean anything she has custody and is the mother so that over rules everything. I am trying to convince DH that we should just go to court and ask for a new therapist or ask the court to just grant us visitation with no therapy.