I really want to smack your husband upside the head. Does he realize this is HIS baby too? Jeez.

Your real problem is that your husband has no spine and no balls.

How about seeing how much noise you can make when they want to sleep in.

Stand up for yourself and your baby!!!! Go to a shelter if you have to get child support this is a lousy situation.

Why isn't your DH putting the baby back to sleep? Every time they wake the baby up I would take the baby and plop him into your DH's arms and go into the bathroom so he can't follow you.

Well, you're just about right back where you started. I don't know why this surprises you. Your DH is an a$$ and you knew he had no intentions of supporting this upstairs with baby idea. Oh sure, he told you you could move the baby if the Skids and you could work it out.

You do remember how quickly and almost gleefully SD15 readily agreed. You state all the time how smart/clever these girls are. Ok. Now they agreed. You moved baby up. Dh not overly excited because he didn't think baby needed to be up there at all. Now girls deliberately going out of their way stomping, screaming, slamming. It's disturbing baby. It's p*ssing you off, and once again, DH really doesn't see what your problem is. Correction, he sees it, he understands it, he just doesn't agree with you and thinks baby should just return where DH wanted baby in first place.

Sure, DH 'suggested' girls pipe down. When girls blew him off, it's yeah, let's just take baby back downstairs. Because your Dh does not support you in baby having her own room and the girls are well aware of this along with their father's weakness in standing up to the brats, your 2 choices is either go back downstairs or stay upstairs angry with a wide awake baby and three girls who are thrilled to death their plan is annoying and working. They also don't care if baby gets a wink of sleep. Baby doesn't exist to them.

Now what?

OP did your husband want another child?

He seems to be disconneted from the baby. Almost like a man who talked/tricked into having a kid.

Where does baby go during the day while you work? Daycare? I'm just curious because you say baby is so hard to get to sleep. Is baby maybe so tired from not sleeping well at night that she's sleeping all day while you are working. It's possible she has her schedule turned around.

But then, even if so and you managed to turn it back around, as long as skids are slamming, stomping, screaming baby's light sleeping would still be a problem. Is Dh downstairs snoring away while all this racket is taking place upstairs? If so, I'd be real tempted to bang some pots right over his snoring head.

I agree with everyone that I would be making sure to do everything in my power to make lots of noise when they are sleeping. When you wake up to go to work make sure to blast some Barney or other baby stuff their way.

I would refuse to give this up. I'd let them know billing me around wouldn't work! Hang UN there long enough and they will tire of doing this with Jo reaction.

I would also make as much noise as I could while they are alseep and pretend I'm not doing it. LOL I would also stand up to them and tell them to shut their huge ass mouths! But I'm a bitch like that.

If DJ or his twiddle nannies didn't like it tough!

I have to say that you are the only one that your baby can rely on b/c your Dh doesn't seem to care. So you are going to have to step up and defend your baby and her space. You have to demand that she deserves the same treatment as the other girls. If you let it go your DJ will just let your poor baby have nothing. I'm not talking about material things I'm talking about a place in the family. A sense of belonging and that she is just as loved. Now is the time to step it up and let them all know you will refuse to let your baby be treated like nothing.

It will get worse for a while but UT should calm down after while but the key is to keep up those boundaries and not back down til they get it. Then don't let your gaurd down.

Well, I don't think you can do much except just retaliate. Obviously your husband has different ideas of "parenting".

And THIS kids, is why you live with someone for a loooooong time before getting married and having kids with them.

Tell him that you are a parent to this kid as much as he is and you aren't NM that will go along with whatever he wants. Honestly for me thus is a battle I would win. I'd just tell him to shut up my baby has a room and the girls need to be quite end of decussion. But that's how I roll. I'd be so up his ass til I got what I wantedn but that's just me. If I feel strongly enough about something it will happen
Now that doesn't mean in not reasonable b/c I will compromise on a lot of things but a kid having a room over none you bet I'm all over that one.

This is exactly what I thought would happen. Your step daughters gave in way too easily on giving up a room. They did what was asked of them, but now they are going to drive you and baby back down stairs, and this was their plan all along! And you should have seen that coming. If you are home during the day, you need to let baby cry whenever they are sleeping, and I mean let her cry loud, maybe even walk with her in the hallway right outside their doors while they are sleeping, whenever they sleep. They have to sleep sometime! Next time they are asleep, don't care what time it is, you be noisy in the baby's room, play music, talk to baby, you make noise. I know it is easy to say don't let them run you back downstairs, but your step daughters and your husband are all trying to do this to you. And when you move back downstairs with baby, he will get his way and step daughters will get their way. Honestly, with your husband's attitude toward your marriage and your baby, I don't think you will last upstairs with baby more than a week. He's not behind you on this, never has been.

Lucija - I'm going to swim against the tide here and say maybe you should just move your baby into the living room.

That's what your DH wants, and it's obvious you just don't have the backbone to fight for anything else, so why not just admit defeat and move the baby into the living room? He'll get the sleep he needs, and so will you.

Why can't you keep her room upstairs with all her stuff in it, but have her sleep downstairs in your room?

That's way its a partial victory because she does have a space for all her things and she can play up there during the day....but you can keep her close at night and get some sleep. Eventually these girls will move out and you can work on appropriate behaviors with the little one.

Don't know how much of a handyman you are but if any of my kids started slamming, doors, I would take my trusty hammer and flat edge screw driver, pop the hinges and remove the door. Voila problem solved.

Loud music? Trace the outlet to the main circuit breaker panel, switch the breaker to off. In case these girls have half a brain and know which breakers to switch, I'd put a padlock on the breaker box. Voila problem solved.

I have to say again that you need to stand for your baby! I don;t understand what is stopping you? If you stand up and let your dh know whether he likes it or not you will not tolerate this behavior! Something has to change and this baby only has you!!! What part of that dont you get? You need to put it to your dh that you are protecting your baby and he needs to too! I do have a feeling that if you start standing up to them your dh will back down after a while and things will settle.

This is so stupid that it has gone on so long and you keep coming up with excuses as to why you can't! My god there are 6 damn rooms up there and no one need to damn rooms I'm getting way too pissed typing this. Those girls need to be put in their place and no one is going to do it which is sad b/c they are growing up to be bitches and everyone is just watching. If they can't be nice for their sister who will they be nice too?

Come on get off the poor pity me crap and tell them all what will happen in your house!!! It doesnt require money it require you to open your damn mouth! If those girl try anything call the police ! shit stop acting to scared and crazy over some little girls! Either your dh can get on board or he will tell your to leave either way your baby will be protected. Right now your are the only one who can protect her and you are failing!

****spraying the group down with a water bottle*******

It's getting HOT in here, ladies!!!!!

Now generally I would agree that she is allowing herself to be doormat, HOWEVER.....she lives in a country where she has NO means or opportunity to get assistance. Imagine if she lives in Chechnya, for example? Granted, I see a lot of this through the eyes of our media, but I highly doubt she has the resources that those of us that live in the US, UK, Australia, and other like countries that are well-funded, developed, and have stable governments. OK, maybe it's not a war-torn country like that, but it's hard to have perspective sometimes when speaking to people from all over the world.

The only resources she has are those from within herself. The only other person that can help in this situation is her DH. I think we should all focus on giving advice based around that knowledge AND the knowledge that she is pretty isolated due to the country and culture she lives in. You can't make the same suggestions and the same solutions for the same problems with different people. Hell, different culture, different country, completely different lifestyle, that many of us lead.

And Lucija....IMO, you really need to get creative, start thinking outside of the box, and start taking some advice here, YES, even if it's a little shady and manipulative. Using sex, for example. Yes, I absolutely LOVE having sex with my SO, but if push came to shove, ESPECIALLY for the sake of my baby, I'd pull out all the stops and withhold sex and tease him til his balls burst, if need be.
So come on now...everyone is rooting for you, they wouldn't get so freakin mad at you if they weren't, and DO something about this!!!!
If he still has them posted, Drac0's blogs on the Art of War would be apropos, you should read them.

So... if I wasn't pregnant, this would definitely call for some heavy, heavy alcohol. I should be soaking gummy bears in vodka and fruit juice in preparation for after this week (if the baby comes on time.)

Lucija has a victim's mentality and a victim's belief system. It is likely that unless we give her an option that satisfies all of her beliefs and requirements--aka won't piss off her skids, her husband won't object, the baby gets its sleep, and she doesn't have to do any confrontation of any sort.

I'm sorry but can you see how unreasonable requesting all of that is? Sometimes there IS no middle way. You can't get respect without demanding respect, you can't win a war without fighting somehow. Even Ghandi fought in his own way and pissed his oppressors off royally, despite it being a peaceful method.

I am inclined to agree that you, in some ways, are allowing your child to be abused by not protecting the baby. Do you want your child to grow up thinking it's okay to be pushed around and to always have someone else's permission before it can do anything? Is that the life, is your life the kind you want for your baby?

Because children learn by example from their parents, and if you don't fight back, well, your child may just as well be handed a sign that says "Walk on me too, I'm too scared to fight for fear of repercussions."

I wish you the best, but hope you see how damaging this is.

We try our best to (at least here in the US and also the UK, and other countries too) raise our daughters to be independent, self sufficient, strong, smart, and most of all, to never allow themselves to be placed in a position where the things that are occurring to them happens without their consent, to never let themselves be abused, to voice their discontents and their joy, to never be afraid of someone else's consequence if they know the road they are taking is best for them. That is what you SHOULD want for your child, and if you don't, then that's pretty sad.

You know, Lucija, you've been at this baby needs room/skids make noise thing for ten days now. During the ten days, it's begun to appear you rather like to play the victim. Nothings going to work, nobody understands, financially dependent yet work fulltime, too busy busy busy yet have plenty of time to post and respond, house is huge yet house is too cramped...and on it goes.

You wanted a room, you got a room. Now you dislike the room because DH won't support you against the skids. Days ago DH offered to move some of his 'stuff' out of the master bedroom. Yet we're back to 'DH has too much stuff in bedroom and that's where he likes it'. You seem to be neglecting to remember as you make your many excuses, that DH has shown willingness to work with you on the 'baby needs space' bit.

Baby is ten months old. Just how much space can one baby take up? How much 'stuff' can one baby need except a crib, some clothes, handful of baby supplies and some toys? You keep telling us about this HUGE hallway, so I have to believe there is plenty of space for baby to play and crawl/run around and stair steps aren't baby friendly to begin with...yet you want baby upstairs. Where you live is a big 'secret' so no one here can get an idea of the normal culture beliefs and traditions, but I'm going to assume you and DH originally came from same area of each other. Yes? With that in mind, I'm finding it hard to believe how you managed to marry a man who has such different ideas about children than you do in a European country (but non EU). He lets them run until the wee hours, you think children should be home by x. What are all the other children their ages doing in your area? Surely running to the middle of the night must be fairly normal or your two oldest skids wouldn't be out and about. Two teen girls don't roam the streets and entertain themselves (doing what?) while all other teens in their area are normally home sleeping.

Continuing that thought line, DH is use to having his children in his bedroom for an overly long time frame. It is the norm and agreeable lifestyle to him. He's also use to being king of his home with little to no consideration to your feelings on it. Yet you are totally anti the 'idea' of everything he thinks and does. Most men regardless of where they live don't come up with ridiculous 'traditions' unless most other men in their circle of society for the most part believe the same ways (whether it be economical necessities in their walk of life or true culture ways). People tend to be and to believe in the ways and traditions they were raised. You say everything was all sunshine and roses in your life together until 1/2 through your pregnancy and you wanted changes. Why is what was perfectly acceptable and harmony bringing pre-pregnancy so unacceptable and unbearable to your mind now?

Wait a minute - before when someone suggested withholding sex you said you would not do that, you wanted to have sex no matter what.

NOW you say you're too busy with work and housework to have sex with your DH. :?

Can you see why people are thinking you're making things up?

If you used half the energy you use on here to find excuses why our suggestions won't work, and put that energy towards figuring out your situation, you'd have it solved by now.