It depends on what she was saying. If they are legit complaints, I would start by having a talk with my girls.

If it is petty BS, I would probably send the link to my ex and have him handle it.

If it was outragous bullshit, I would probably cut-a-bitch.

I suppose it depends, I've already jumped both my kids about being disrespectful to their dads gf I have no problem with them defending themselves and standing up to her being a psycho but I still expect it done in a respectful manner. Usually I tell them to not react right away, take a bit then when things are calmer sit down with her and their dad to talk about it. I'd likely ask her and the kids for their version and then figure out if it's MY kids how to help and if its her how to help the kids handle it. I may hate my ex and dislike his manipulating money grubbing gf but unfortunately they are the other adults in my kids life and they have to learn sometime how to handle different personalities.

My SM has nothing to do with my kids. When she was dating XH, she was all the girls talked about. Then she got pregnant they got married (eloped - so my kids didn't attend) and the baby was born. If I didn't know better, I would think the SM is gone - the girls never speak about her.

When they go to their EOW visits - they do something with dad and newBaby only - SM either stays home to sleep or is elsewhere.

Its an interesting switch.

At first I was jealous wondering how the SM got that arrangement when I have DH dumping his kids on me non stop - lol I have talked with my girls a lot about SM since she came into XHs life - to be respectful, to treat her like they do any other adult in their lives and to listen to her always. I set the expectations with my kids to ensure that their relationship with their SM would never be like the lack of relationship I have with my 2 skids.

I am hopeful my kids are respectful. The SM doesn't want anything to do with my girls - that is ok by me - I respect her for that. I do see the loss to BD8 a little more than BD13 though. That hurts me a little knowing my daughter wants a stronger relationship than she has with the SM. But it is what it is and it could be a lot worse.

I don't interfere in their lives at all - i can go months without any contact with my XH. I accommodate him everytime he makes plans on his visitation weekend by keeping my kids. (way to often considering he only sees them twice a month to be honest), i haven't taken him to court for CS as he is a financial disaster and prefer not to invite that drama into my life for the small amount it would turn out to be. Honestly, the SM of my kids doesn't have that much to complain about well, in my opinion of course.

I have wondered if she is here. Never know. If she is, I guess I would be glad she is here to vent it out vs take it out on my kids - as DH should be happy I am here to bitch, whine and complain vs take it out on his kids.

I know my daughter and I know her pseudo-stepmom (dad's live-in gf of 4 yrs, not married). This woman once told my daughter "I didn't want you to come live with us, I've raised my kids" (my DD was 11 when she wanted to move in with her dad due to my and my ex's constant moving around and his verbal/emotional abuse of us both. Her father's gf has 2 grown sons, one of which LIVES with them!)

So I KNOW she complains about my daughter. If she's here, it wouldn't surprise me. I don't really care if she complains about my kid to strangers on an internet board. As long as she's treating my daughter well in life, that's all that matters. Look, I'm no fool, my kid can grate on people's nerves if allowed to. I don't allow her to, that's the difference! LOL But I did tell dad's gf a few times that I'll take DD14 back ANY DAY - they won't give up the $500 per month child support I pay them! It pays their Jeep and insurance payments. They certainly don't give DD what she needs.

My daughter is a very polite girl. She does not disrespect adults. If she didn't like a SM and/or the situation I guarantee she would just stay home and not go on the visit instead of causing a big problem. She has never been a part of her fathers life unfortunately, and never had a stepmother. Her grandparents adore her and wish they could have her MORE OFTEN. They ask her to have overnights and she declines them. I hear complaints from my fiancee about her messiness all the time however, and we work on it. I do not clean for her though, like he does for his kids. I make her do it. So what ends up happening is she makes a mess (of her room)every couple days and then I have to get on her and she ends up staying home until its cleaned up. If he (future STEPFATHER) was on here complaining about her....well, it would not be that big of a shock. He voices his opinion about her to me all the time. He has called her and her friends whores at times when he gets really mad (not to their face), just because they are really cute teen age girls and sometimes dress a little too sexy. Teen girls can be annoying, I get that. It really would not bother me.

When my exh met his now wife, she kept calling and texting my DD who was probably 8 or 9 at the time. I thought it was weird that she was telling her she loved her and missed her and had never met her.

Then they got married and my DD10 was very excited to have gotten a SM last year. I met her and she seemed pretty nice. She had the mentality of a ten yr old so thats probably why they got along so well!

If DD was treating her badly I would put a stop to it immediately. Luckily for SM, my DD is open to new people and is just a really good kid who loves everyone. But if she had legitimate complaints I would address them with DD. Not all kids are perfect and I'm sure she could be a pain in the ass sometimes!!

My exh lives about 600 miles away from me so DD rarely sees them. I did make sure that for mothers day, DD sent her a pretty bracelet. It is much easier that they live so far away. I never have to see them!!

Now I guess SM put a restraining order on exh and had him arrested. She is now pressing charges against him for god knows what!! I knew it wouldn't last. Oh well! DD is a little sad that she no longer has a SM!! Exh had to move back in with his parents and his crazy wife is keeping their one yr old from him. I'm sure he brought it all upon himself!!

I agree it depends on what she was saying, although I converse with her quite often and we usually both bitch about the same things when it comes to my girls. However I would probably say nothing even if it was a different complaint.But that is because I know my ex is a Disney Dad and her anger should probably be directed at him, after all mine always was when I was married to him }:)

If the vents were about my son being disrespectful, he would have hell you pay.

If the posts stated I hate the kid, his voice, his face... I want to punch hm in the face, or used the awful names some use for their SKs, I'd make copies and head to court.

My bios have no stepmom, as since their dad tried to murder me, he's nicely incarcerated...maybe they have a stepdaddy prison bitch I don't know about, LOL....My skid's biomom is a heroin junkie. If I were abusing her child, she'd neither know about it, or do anything about it. her drugs are her choice in life, not her kid. and, no i do not abuse my skid. That's why I have steptalk. I discuss my feelings about him HERE, in private, so that I don't display ill-will towards him. If my kids did have a stepmom that hated them and vented on here, i guess i might not LOVE it, but I surely would understand it.

Article on yahoo newsfeed today, or fb, I forget where: A dog in a Russian zoo adopts 3 tiger cubs that the bio mom abandoned. Why do you think this has made headline news? BECAUSE NON BIO MOMS do NOT WANT A DAMN THING TO DO WITH ANY NON BIO OFFSPRING (in the majority of cases in the animal kingdom). It's UNNATURAL, that's why it made headlines.

Human mothers are animals too, yet we are supposed to, for whatever reason, feel differently about non-bios than the animals??? Makes no sense.......

:?

My kids SM seems to be very disengaged so I wonder what caused it. When her and exH first got together she was very involved and he moved into her home. Since we have 50/50 custody the kids where there a lot. Then they split up and moved back to his previous home. Later they got back together and she moved in with him. Now she is pretty detached from the kids. I suspect they might be part of the cause of the initial breakup. I have no problem believing exH lets them do whatever they want and allows them to be disrespectful to her. He is the disney dad.

I have continually reminded my kids that they are to be respectfull at all times but I'm sure they know what they can get away with at dad's. If I knew she had issues I would work with her to fix them. I certainly would not want my kids to grow up thinking it's ok to treat anyone badly.

"I would hope any mother would correct their child's behavior upon learning the child has been disobedient and disrespectful."

BM would praise SD9 for this behavior. BM actually encourages SD to act this way at our home. Since SD lives in our home everyone is treated like crap 24/7.