For those who are bio parents-who do you love more,
Your kids or your partner? Or do you love them both equally but differently?
I don't have bios. And some of the posts I see on here about sks and sks and OPs bios made me think about this.
- Anon2009's blog
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I love them both but
I love them both but differently. I'm responsible fir making sure my kids grow into great adults and protect them when they are kids but to make sure they can take care of themselves when they are adults and I have done that.
My dh is my life partner and will be there til we die. We are to protect and love each other and take care of each other.
My kids will move out get married and do the same for their parnters.
BIG difference in the 2 and I'm so glad my dh feels the same.
Well said. It's most
Well said. It's most important to protect my bios and love them, but SO is my partner and best friend for life. Our relationship comes before the WANTS of the kids, but not the NEEDS of the kids.
^^^^ exactly what Hungry said
^^^^ exactly what Hungry said
Hungry eyes and purple
Hungry eyes and purple daisies said it perfectly. I will move heaven and earth to protect my kids. I will love them and teach them to be productive members of society. I hope one of the most important lessons that I teach them is to love their spouse. To work together and know that their own kids will move out one day too, but hopefully they will still have thief partner and best friend by their side.
My husband is my partner in all things. We disagree when it comes to ss all the time and that just might be how it is until he grows up. But we made a commitment. We were both once divorced but we will not give up this time.
My kids, plain and simple
My kids, plain and simple they have saved me more times than I can count, they are the one thing in my life that makes the hell I went through worth it. So much so I wouldn't go back and change it because I might not have them.
I love SO, but I wouldn't lay down my life for him, my ex broke that ability in me to love anyone beyond my children that way. He is a wonderful charming man, he lacks somethings I really need but it's not a personality problem but an employment/education problem. He is great overall, but not lay down my life for great. I loved like that once and got shit on. Yes my kids will grow and move on, and I will still love them with every fiber, but I have no desire to love a grown up in the "take care of" kinda way. Maybe it's just a different kind of love, maybe I'm just always going to be broken about love.
I love them both in
I love them both in completely different ways.
I would say that FDH is the person I consciously love most on the planet. I need to spend time with him in order to be happy and I want to do whatever I can to make him happy. He completes me and the thought of being without him is painful.
BUT my kids are a part of me and the love I feel for them is subconscious, instinctive and overrides even my own needs. There is no way to choose anything or anyone over my children. That is as ridiculous as saying I will stop breathing to prove my love for you. It's just not possible and anyone who tries it will be damaged by the attempt.
Now I do believe that as kids get older, this biological imperative lessens but I don't think it ever goes completely away.
For me it isn't a matter of
For me it isn't a matter of loving one more than the other, but the type of love you have for each. I have unconditional love for my son. I'd never have that type of love for a SO.
SO's have to earn and work hard to keep our love. We love our children from day one (birth or adoption).
I'm glad you mentioned
I'm glad you mentioned adopted children too. I have an adopted daughter and she is included in that biological imperative that I have to take care of "my" children.
You know I hate these kinds
You know I hate these kinds of questions b/c there is no loving one more then the other. Just different types of relationship and different kind of love. You don't have the same type of relationship with your kids that you do with your spouse or so.
Of course we love our kids and would do anything to make sure they are taken care of and protected as well as teaching them to be great adults.
Your spouse or so is your best friend and partner for life I wouldn't treat my spouse like my kid. So why compare them?
i love fdh, but i love our
i love fdh, but i love our kids in a totally different way. if i had to choose between them, he knows i'm choosing our boys and i would expect him to do the same thing between them and me.
My partner. My kids are a
My partner. My kids are a living, breathing manifestation of that love.
"If the house were on fire
"If the house were on fire and I could only save either my husband or my children? My children.
If my kids demanded that I divorce my husband to prove my love to them? Not gonna happen.
I don't love one more or the other less. I love them differently. And that delineation brings with it an order of 'importance' that's in flux. Depends on the situation..."
I agree. At least my dh would have a fighting chance as my BS9, not so much.
And I agree I would never allow or let my son tell/demand me to divorce my DH either.
And yes, we love them both the same, just differently. And imho the important thing is that they BOTH know that.
If your husband was on a
If your husband was on a plane with a child you were both parents to, and there was only one parachute, would you expect him to wear it or put it on his kid? CHILD
If your husband was on a plane with your grown stepchild, and there was only one parachute, would your answer be different? NOT SURE...
My children are adults but when it comes to emergency sits regarding their safety or their health I would always put them first before me or my husband. They are still my children and I will always feel the need to protect them.
If they demanded I leave my DH - they would have to have a REALLY good reason before I would even consider it.